Remember You, Remember Me, Remember Us
by LostForeverInHisEyes
Summary: EPILOGUE ADDED. Memories. Things that make us who we are. Callen remembers but Tash doesn't. When he finds her again, can he help her remember who she is, who they were? Will he finally get her back and have her beside him where she belongs? Callen/OC
1. Chapter 1

Remember You, Remember Me, Remember Us - Full Summary

Four years ago Hetty teamed Callen up with Tash. Eighteen months later they finally got together, with a little nudge from Hetty. Two years ago she was shot and forgot everything and they'd all had to let her go. Not just Callen.

When they found her again, he wasn't going to let her go. None of them were. Now they had the challenge of helping her find a way to remember, because Tash still didn't know who she was, two years later.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

_Authors Notes_

This was prompted by a review from NotARedhead for my story Second Chance about taking it slower for memories coming back. This is what came out of it. Probably not quite what was meant but I've had a lot of fun, so a big Thanks to NotARedhead for giving me another story for my fingers to try and keep up with my head. Lucky I can type pretty quick.

So, there is the obvious romance to this story, which I guess you could call the main thread. If you've read some of my other stories I doubt that will surprise you ;-) but this does include a fair amount of Tash's interactions and memories with the team as well, so definitely not all romance. Flashbacks and recalled memories will be in _Italics, _aside from the first chapter which is regarding the shooting of Tash and the fallout from that. The flashbacks and memories will mostly be from Tash's pov, though it should be clear if they are from another character's pov.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Approximate time line information:

Current time not set anywhere in particular, except perhaps before the episode Burned, which will become clear later.

Tash is partnered up with Callen - four years ago. Eric and Nate, already part of the team.

Sam joins their team - three years ago

Tash gets shot and loses her memory - just over two years ago

Callen and Sam partner up and Kensi joins the team after this.

Reviews appreciated and help me to fix any mistakes and make the rest of the story better.

Disclaimer - Nothing you recognise from the land of TV is mine, anything else, I'm up for claiming - especially Tash. Definitely doing it for fun, and having lots of it.

Let the story begin.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

**Chapter 1**

_Timeline info - Just over two years ago_

Callen saw Tash look at him as she slowly reached for her gun. He knew that look, knew what he had to do. At the slight nod of her head, he hit the ground, just moments before he heard gun fire ring out. Callen heard her scream of pain. His heart froze and he looked up to see her crumple to the ground at the base of the pillar. Rolling over, he pulled his gun, only to see their assailant lying on the sand, unmoving. Callen knew she wouldn't have missed, not when he was at risk. He heard Sam calling to them and knew he was close. Callen scrambled to his feet and raced over to Tash.

"Tash!" Callen called out, turning her over. He saw the blood on her shoulder from the bullet she had taken and, as he gently cradled her head, he felt more blood seep through his fingers from the back of her head.

"Eric, we need an ambulance," Callen said, trying to get pressure on both the head and the shoulder.

"On it's way," Eric replied through the earpiece.

"Tash, come on, wake up," Callen said, desperation in his voice.

"G, you okay?" Sam joined him, kneeling down beside them, taking over the pressure on the shoulder wound whilst Callen continued the pressure on the back of her head and tried to wake her.

"I'm fine. Tash, please," Callen said, gently tapping her cheeks to try and wake her up.

He breathed a sigh of relief as her eyes fluttered open.

"About time," Callen said to her. Tash smiled gently at him as her eyes started to flutter closed.

"Love you," Tash said softly, before he felt her body slump.

"Tash!" Sam called. Callen reached to check her pulse, relieved that it was still there, though it was faint.

"Come on Tash, don't leave me now," Callen pleaded. "Eric, where's the ambulance?"

"Should be arriving now," Eric replied.

"Tash, hold on," Sam said. "She's gonna be fine G, you know she's probably just fainted because of the blood," Sam said trying to reassure both of them.

Callen lent down to her ear, "Come on Tash, you know how I hate it when you get the last word in," he said, just as the ambulance officers arrived.

Reluctantly, Callen and Sam relinquished their hold on her, letting the ambulance officers take over and do what they did best.

They watched them put her on a stretcher and rush her into the ambulance. Callen jumped in the back with them and Sam followed in his car.

Hetty, Nate and Eric met them at the hospital, not long after they arrived.

"How is she Mr Callen?" Hetty asked as they walked up to them.

"In surgery," Callen replied, not taking his eyes off the door that he had watched her go through. "She took a blow to the head. That's the problem, not the bullet," Callen added.

Hetty saw Callen watch the door, she saw the blood on his clothes as well as Sam's. Tash's blood. She noticed the pain in Sam's eyes and knew that even more would be in Callen's, had she been able to see them. She knew there was pain in all of their eyes, hers included, at the thought of losing Tash. Hetty walked away to the nurses station to ask some more questions, as Nate and Eric took a seat and quietly waited.

"G? Need anything?" Sam asked, looking carefully at Callen. Sam didn't know how to help his team mate. Tash meant a lot to all of them, but he she meant so much more to Callen.

"I'm good," Callen said. He was still watching the door, willing a doctor to come through and tell them she was going to be fine.

Sam shook his head and went and sat next to Nate and Eric, giving Callen some space.

Seven hours after Tash had disappeared through the doors, the doctor finally came. None of them had left, it was late at night and they all knew they wouldn't sleep until they heard something.

"She's alive. It was close though," the doctor said. "The blow to the head caused a lot of swelling and bleeding inside the brain. We managed to stop it and repair the physical damage, but until she wakes up, we won't know what other kind of damage has been caused."

"When can we see her?" asked Hetty.

"She'll be out of recovery in about an hour. I'll have the nurse come and get you when she's in her room."

"Thank you Doctor," replied Hetty, as she watched her team return to the seats that they had been occupying for so long. Obviously none of them were going to go home until they had seen Tash with their own eyes. She wouldn't tell them to go home, aside from the fact that it would fall on deaf ears even if it was a direct order, she was planning on staying as well and wouldn't ask them to go if she wasn't prepared to do the same thing.

So they all continued to wait and watch the clock tick by, until eventually the nurse came and led the way to Tash's room. Hetty stood back and watched, with Nate and Eric by her side, as Callen and Sam went over close to Tash. Callen picked up her hand gently and held it to his cheek. He couldn't find a voice to say anything to her, she looked so pale and fragile, but at least she was warm.

"Hey Tash, time to wake up," Sam said, standing by the bedside, looking down at her.

"You know G hates it when you sleep longer than him," Sam added.

As Tash's eyes fluttered a little, Sam grinned. "Knew that would get you to wake up," he said, her eyes finally opened fully.

Tash frowned at both of them and, seeing Callen holding her hand, she looked up at him.

"Do I know you?" Tash asked. Callen froze.

"Tash, now not the time for joking," Callen said. He desperately hoped she was just joking, but a part of him knew that Tash wouldn't do that to them.

"Who?" Tash frowned. "Who are you?" she asked. She looked like she was getting distressed and she started to pull away from him.

Hetty stepped up.

"Do you know who _you_ are my dear?" Hetty asked, as she put her hand on Callen's shoulder to gently encourage him to step back a little.

Tash frowned. "No," she said, shaking her head just a little, fear in her eyes. The monitors started to beep faster as her heart rate increased.

"It's all right my dear, you are safe," Hetty reassured her. "Mr Hanna, could you please get the doctor." Sam left to find the doctor and Callen stepped back away to stand with Eric and Nate. He watched as Hetty held Tash's hand and spoke gently to her. Jealous that it wasn't him doing that. The doctor came in and ushered them all out of the room whilst he checked her over.

When he came out, it was Callen who spoke first.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked.

"She's lost her memory. She has no idea who she is, what the date is or anything. She still has full function and speech, but no personal memories," the doctor answered. Callen felt his world start to fall apart as he heard the words.

"Nothing?" Sam asked, glancing at Callen, worried about his reaction to the news.

"Nothing. We are going to run some tests to see if we can pinpoint anything in particular which is causing it," the doctor replied.

"How long? Until you know?" asked Callen, finally finding his voice again. Maybe it was just something simple, something they could fix and Tash would be fine. Please let it be simple.

"A few hours at least. Perhaps you should all go and get some rest," the doctor suggested.

"I'm not leaving," Callen said firmly, with a shake of his head.

"Mr Callen, there is nothing you can do. She doesn't know us. You saw how scared she was when we were in there," Hetty replied, not entirely sure if she was trying to get him to go home and get some rest or trying to process what was happening with Tash for herself.

"I can be here Hetty, even if she doesn't know it," Callen said. He walked away and took a seat outside her door. He put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. _She doesn't remember anything. She doesn't remember us._ He felt Sam sit down beside him.

"You staying too?" Callen asked, though he didn't look up at Sam.

"Yep," Sam said. "Don't think you're the only one going to get brownie points when she remembers, do you?"

"You know you'll never catch up to me," Callen said with a small smile as he finally looked at Sam.

"Don't bet on it. Who's the one who brings her those smoothie's she likes so much each day?" Sam asked.

"You. But do you really think they're better than home made?" Callen asked back.

"Great, what else?" Sam asked.

"Enough," Callen said and settled back in his chair to wait.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

_Two months later._

Callen walked back into the office with lunch, gave Sam's to him and sat down at his desk.

"You seen Tash today?" Sam asked when he looked over at Callen.

"No," Callen replied shortly. Two months of daily visits, watching her pull away from him, scared. Her not remembering anything. She'd barely been able to remember that they had visited her the day before. She couldn't seem to hold onto current memories, let alone recall old ones. He just couldn't face it today.

"I'm heading over after lunch. Want to come?" Sam asked.

"No thanks," Callen said and reached for his paperwork. Sam shook his head. He'd been watching Callen get more disheartened each day, but he didn't think he would give up. Not on Tash.

"I'll let you know how she is then," Sam said.

~o~o

"Hetty!" Sam called as he walked back into the office after his visit to Tash.

"You bellowed, Mr Hanna?" Hetty said, from right behind him. Sam spun around.

"What happened to Tash?" Sam asked, not caring about the silent reprimand on Hetty's face.

"What do you mean?" Hetty asked as she frowned and looked up at him over her glasses.

"She's not at the hospital. They said she'd checked out with her uncle," Sam said. "I thought we had authority for her."

"We should. I certainly wasn't informed of that," said Hetty. She turned and walked to her desk and picked up her phone, dialing before she had even sat down.

"Sam?" Callen asked. Sam turned around to see his partner behind him. Callen frowned at the look on Sam's face. "What's going on?"

"It's Tash. She's not in the hospital anymore," Sam said, wishing he hadn't been the one to tell Callen.

"Where is she?" Callen asked, feeling something tighten painfully around his heart.

"Gone. Checked out," Sam said. "Hetty's checking into it."

"Gentlemen," Hetty said, gaining their attention. Having finished her phone call she had returned to their side.

"Hetty?" Callen asked, "Where is she?" He should have gone with Sam, or even this morning. The first time he didn't and now she was gone.

"According to the hospital, she has returned to her uncle's home in San Diego. Because he is the only living relative, they released her to him. Unfortunately, 'Next of Kin' ranks higher than employer," Hetty said.

"We have to go get her," Callen said and started to move toward his desk for his jacket.

"No Mr Callen, we can not," Hetty said, sadly but firmly.

"Why not?" Callen asked. He turned to glare at Hetty. Tash belonged with them, not someone else.

"She doesn't remember us, none of us, Mr Callen. She is scared whenever any of us are there, including Eric. And you know the only thing scary about Eric is his attire," Hetty said.

"But Hetty..." Callen started.

"No Mr Callen. She is with family. She obviously trusts her uncle. I doubt she would have walked out of there willingly if she did not," Hetty said. "We just have to hope that when she remembers, she will come back to us," Hetty finished.

"How will she remember if we're not around to help?" asked Sam. She'd been with them for two years, everyday almost. They were familiar, were family even if not by blood. She needed them to help her remember.

"I don't know Mr Hanna," Hetty said, sadness tinging her voice as she turned away.

Sam turned and looked at Callen. He saw the pain in his partner's eyes but didn't know what to do about it. They all felt it. Tash was theirs, had been for two years, at least for Callen, Hetty, Nate and Eric. It had only been a year for Sam but it didn't matter. That was more than enough time to count her as one of his family, she had a way of slipping into your heart. And now she was gone, and they didn't know if she would ever come back to them. Sam didn't know what to say to Callen, as he watched him turn back to his desk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Timeline info - Current_

Callen was at the pier, where Tash's shooting had happened. He came here every now and then, to remember. It was a weakness he wasn't willing to tell anyone about, though Hetty probably knew. Callen wondered how Tash was doing; wondered whether they had done the right thing not going after her. She was family, but they had no way of proving it; no way to claim her back from her uncle. It had been two years since she had gone, two years since he had seen her last, but he still felt that urge to go after her. He would have in a heartbeat, if he had thought she would welcome him, but all he could remember was how scared she was of them, of him.

Callen was walking toward the pillar when he noticed a woman was standing there. Her back was to him and she had her head tilted, like she was trying to figure something out. He tried not to think about how it reminded him of Tash. He stopped, not wanting to intrude and not wanting company. He preferred to face these particular demons alone, where no one would witness his occasional lapse of control. When she turned around, his breath caught. It _was_ her.

Tash looked at him, and she frowned. Like she had done every day of those two months, but this time she didn't seem scared. She seemed more curious. She kept looking at him. Callen stepped forward slowly, not saying anything, just watching for any sign that might give him a clue to what she was thinking. Tash took a tentative step towards him and then stopped, though she still watched him. Callen kept moving though, slowly, closer. He couldn't believe it was her. That she was here.

"Do I know you?" Tash asked him softly, when he was close enough for him to hear her. He remembered her voice so well, it hadn't changed. Again, she sounded curious, not scared like the last time she had asked him that. Callen tried to remember what Nate had told them so long ago, how to help her remember without telling her anything.

"You did once," Callen replied softly. She hadn't changed much, though she did seem more softer, not quite so tough. He wanted to reach out to her, hold her and promise her he wouldn't let her go again. But he didn't, because most of all, he wanted her to not be scared of him. Because if she was scared, she would run away, and the only running he wanted her to do, was to him.

"How?" Tash asked, with that familiar frown of concentration he remembered.

"You have to work that out," Callen replied, trying hard not to let her name slip from his lips. He didn't want to scare her by saying it, though somehow he doubted he would, given her response so far.

Tash stepped closer, looking hard at his face.

"There is something, but I don't remember, I don't..." Tash said, interrupted by a male voice calling out.

"Natasha! It is time to leave," the voice said.

Tash turned her head toward the voice, "No Uncle Mike, I can't leave now," and quickly turned back to Callen. He saw the desperation in her eyes. It gave him hope, she might not remember yet, but she wanted to and she was fighting to.

"Natasha, we have to go," the voice was closer this time. He saw a familiar flash of anger in her eyes as she spun around.

"Uncle Mike. I don't know who I am, but something about here ... something here is about me. I'm not going anywhere. Two years I've tried, but nothing. Not until now. Please ... please I need to stay," Tash begged.

"I can give you ten minutes, but then we need go," Uncle Mike said firmly.

"Thank you," Tash replied. She turned back to Callen, looking at him intently.

"Carl?" she asked softly. Callen tensed at the name. It was who they had been hunting, who she had been undercover to get. She shook her head. "No, not you," Tash said, answering her own question. She put her hands to her head and ran her fingers through her hair, closing her eyes as she did. It was longer now than it used to be. He remembered how soft it was, especially after she had washed it. He watched as her hands stilled in her hair and she frowned. When Tash eventually opened her eyes, he saw a scared look in her eyes.

"Not you ... him," Tash whispered, her eyes glancing across to where her uncle stood, but her head didn't move. Callen froze briefly, as the meaning of her words registered.

"Tash, I need you to trust me," Callen said softly, so Carl wouldn't overhear. "I'll keep you safe, but you need to trust me." Callen saw her nod ever so slightly. He tried not to smile at that little sign that their Tash was still in there. Carefully, he pulled out his iPhone and sent Sam a text, hoping he would understand.

Text to Sam - _tash carl pier now help. _

"What do you remember?" Callen asked her.

"Mostly glimpses. Not much more than a picture, but I don't know what they are," Tash answered. He could hear the frustration, tinged with fear, in her voice and hoped that Carl wouldn't. He saw her fighting not to look at Carl.

"Would you like to sit down? We've got ten minutes if you want to talk," Callen said, holding out his hand to her to help her sit down on the sand. Tash looked at it for a moment and then tentatively put her hand in his and they sat down. Callen felt the familiar feel of her hand in his, hoped she did too. He'd know her touch blindfolded. When Tash let go, she looked at her hand for a moment and then at him, frowning again.

"Why did you come here?" Callen asked, hoping that if she talked to him, something might come back.

"I had flashes of here in my dreams, but nothing solid," Tash said. "When I saw where we were, I had to stop. To see if there was something more."

"Why were you fascinated by that pillar?" Callen asked, glancing briefly toward it. She turned and looked at it, shaking her head slightly before turning back to him and answering.

"I don't know. It just ... seemed familiar," Tash said. "Why can't I remember who you are? I know you, I'm sure but," she stopped. He could hear her getting more frustrated.

"Maybe I remind you of someone else," Callen said.

"Maybe, but then if you do, I probably don't remember who either," Tash said. She looked down and started to play with the sand with her fingers. Callen watched her for a moment and his heart leapt when he realised she was drawing the letter G in the sand, over and over. He hoped Sam wouldn't be too far away with back up.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

_Sam's POV_

"Hetty! Eric!" Sam bellowed as he looked at the message from Callen that he just received on his phone.

Eric poked his head around the corner, "You know Hetty hates..."

"Need you to bring up audio from G's phone and listen. Now!" Sam said to him firmly, pointing at Eric and then upstairs, as he spoke.

"What..." Eric started.

"Tash," Sam said and Eric turned and raced up the stairs, without another word, already typing away on his portable machine.

"What about Natasha?" Hetty said behind him. Sam turned around.

"G's found her at the pier where it happened, but she's with Carl," Sam said quickly.

"And _you _are still _here _because?" Hetty asked. " Go Mr Hanna, Now!" Hetty ordered, turning away and heading toward her desk.

"Kenz, come on," Sam said, grabbing his keys. Kensi looked at him confused, but followed quickly.

"Another team will be on route shortly Mr Hanna," Hetty called out to him as she picked up the phone on her desk.

"Thanks Hetty," Sam said as they almost ran out the door.

Once in the car and on their way, Kensi finally spoke.

"Who's Tash?" she asked.

"Natasha Farrow. She was who you replaced," Sam said, flooring the accelerator as he weaved in and out of the traffic. He knew the way to the pier by heart, he'd driven it quite a few times over the last couple of years when Tash had been on his mind.

"The one who lost her memory?" Kensi asked.

"Yeah, that's the one," Sam replied.

"And who's Carl?" Kensi asked, holding on tight as Sam drove well over the speed limit.

"The bad guy we were trying to get when it all went wrong," Sam replied, concentrating on the best way through the traffic. Tash was so close. He hoped they could get her back safely this time. They were just a couple of minutes from the pier when Kensi's phone rang.

"Callen's talking to her, but you don't have long. Only a few minutes left before Carl is going to try and get her to leave again," Eric said, having managed to get some cameras near the pier and monitor Callen's talk with Tash.

"We're almost there Eric. What about the other team?" Sam asked, seeing the pier just up ahead.

"Just a few minutes behind you," Eric replied.

"Not close enough," Sam said.

"They're going as fast as they can. Be careful guys. There are two bodyguards standing by a black car, watching them. They are far enough away, but with guns, they'll be a problem," Eric said.

"Send the other team to get them. We'll get Tash," Sam said.

"Will do," Eric said, hanging up, just as Sam pulled up at the pier, luckily finding a car space easily. Personally, he would have been happy just to stop in the middle of the road, but that would have probably put the bodyguards on a higher alert.

"I can see them Sam," Kensi said, as she looked around and saw the bodyguards Eric had mentioned.

Sam looked at her, grinning a little, but Kensi could see the tension behind it. "Feeling like a nice, romantic stroll under the pier?" Sam asked.

"Just don't go getting too frisky," Kensi replied as they got out of the car.

Sam slipped his arm around her, low on her hips and Kensi leaned in to giggle as she slipped her arm around him as well. Sam lent down as he whispered in her ear. At least that is what the bodyguards saw. In reality, Sam was getting his hand close to Kensi's gun, as was she his, just in case they needed one quickly.

"We need to wait until the other team get here if we can," Sam whispered. As they got closer, Sam could see Tash sitting on the sand in front of Callen. They weren't close enough to hear anything yet, but at the squealing of tyres and the sound of gun fire coming from the street, Kensi and Sam broke apart and moved quickly to focus their aim on Carl. As Carl pulled a gun on them, Sam fired; his shot accurate. He wasn't intending on letting him get away, Carl had taken too much from them already. Kensi was already checking on Carl, Sam still having his gun aimed at him, just in case. Kensi confirmed that he was dead and Sam turned to check on the bodyguards. The other team gave them a thumbs up and he turned to look at Tash for the first time in two years. Relief flooding him that she was all right. That this time, they had kept her safe.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

When the gunfire started, Callen had pushed Tash back into the sand, covering her with his body, to protect her the only way he could. He pulled his gun ready, but he trusted that Sam and Kensi had it covered and focused on protecting Tash. Eric had sent a text, letting him know that Sam and Kensi had arrived. When the gunfire stopped, he looked over to check on Sam and Kensi and then turned his attention back to Tash.

Tash looked up at him, as a memory flashed through her mind.

_He had her pushed back against the wall. Their bodies pressed together. He was looking deep into her eyes, his hands running up her body gently. She enjoyed the feel of it. But she had to focus. He moved his head closer and whispered in her ear, "Do you see them yet?"_

Tash shook her head and frowned at him. What was she remembering? It didn't make sense.

"Are you okay?" Callen asked Tash, seeing the frown and confusion on her face.

"I think so," Tash replied with a small smile.

Callen moved off her and held out his hand. Tash looked at it for a moment, before taking it and standing up. She held on as her legs felt unsteady under her. Tash looked over to see the man she had thought was her Uncle Mike, lying in the sand by the feet of a woman with a gun. There was a tall, dark man watching her, a gentle look on his face. She turned to Callen with a frown.

"Who are you?" Tash asked again.

"Friends," Callen said. It was the closest thing he could think of at the moment. His phone rang.

"We're fine Hetty," Callen said as he answered it.

"Good. Now bring her home," Hetty said and hung up. Hetty didn't need to worry about that. That was exactly what he intended on doing.

"Tash, do you still trust me?" Callen asked as he looked down at her.

Tash looked at him, and then back to the tall dark man and the woman standing next to him. Somehow, she did.

"Yes," she said. Tash started to glance toward where her 'uncle' lay, but Callen put his hand up and turned her face back to him. Her breath caught at his touch and she almost closed her eyes. She wondered why.

"Don't look," Callen said, gently. He had noticed her reaction to his touch on her face and he felt a ray of hope that she was coming back. "Come with us. I promise, we'll keep you safe," Callen said. Tash nodded and he slipped an arm around her waist to hold her steady, as he steered her away from Carl's body. He could hardly believe that she was back. She felt so right by his side, almost like she'd never been gone.

"Callen, you two okay?" asked Kensi, as she and Sam came to join them, with Sam finally looking at Callen instead of Tash. Tash tried to focus on his name, but she couldn't get anything from it.

"We're okay. Hetty wants to see her," Callen said, glancing down at Tash as they stopped in front of them.

"Who's Hetty?" Tash asked.

"Our boss," Sam said, looking at Tash and smiling gently. He was rewarded with a gentle smile back. There was something about him Tash couldn't place, but whatever it was, somehow Tash knew it was good.

"Do I know her too?" Tash asked, looking from Sam back to Callen.

"Yeah, you do," Callen replied. "You also know Sam," Callen said, nodding in Sam's direction.

"And I definitely know you?" Tash asked looking back at Callen after glancing at Sam, remembering the flash of a memory she had just had.

"Yeah," Callen said.

"You?" Tash asked, looking at Kensi.

"I'm Kensi. Sorry, we've never met," Kensi answered. A couple of guys from the other team arrived to take care of the body, freeing them up to take Tash back to the office.

"Let's get you out of here," Callen said, starting to move them to the car. Kensi smiled as she saw Sam step in close beside Tash. There seemed to be something about Tash that made those two act very protective. Actually, everyone had jumped at the mention of her name. Hetty had even seemed slightly strange, more forceful if that were possible, with the way she had ordered Sam to go. She was looking forward to finding out more.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N - Okay so there is a bit in here that I wrote before I saw the episode Burned. Forgive me but I liked what I put in and after seeing the episode, couldn't bring myself to change it, it worked too well here in my mind. You'll understand with you read it. Remember Flashbacks/Memories are in italics. Let me know if this works or if it is confusing to read and I'll see what I can do to fix it if necessary. Thanks for reading.  
_

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

**Chapter 3**

As they walked into the office and headed towards Hetty, they passed the stairs that led up to Eric and heard an extremely loud whistle that caused Tash's hands to automatically cover her ears.

"Jeez Eric, do you need to deafen all of us?" asked Kensi, who had done the same at Eric's unusually loud whistle.

Another memory flashed through Tash's mind.

_"You know, you whistle like a girl," she said to the brightly dressed guy in front of her._

_"Can you do better?" he asked, looking a little put out. The whistle wasn't really that bad, but she enjoyed teasing him._

_"Of course," she replied._

_"Show me then," he said. She did and he copied._

_"Much better," she said and smiled as she walked away._

Tash looked up to see where the whistle had come from. When she saw the guy leaning on the railing up stairs, smiling broadly down at her, she felt dizzy. Tash reached out and grabbed someone to steady herself, as she closed her eyes and groaned.

"Tash?" Callen said, concerned and stepping closer to her after she had reached out to him.

"I taught him that didn't I?" Tash asked, as she opened her her eyes and looked at Callen. She saw him smile.

"Indeed you did, Miss Farrow," said Hetty as she approached them.

"Is it too late to say I'm sorry?" Tash asked as she looked at the small woman who had stopped in front of them.

"You already did my dear," Hetty said. "Welcome back." Tash tried to remember, but nothing, nothing except that for the first time in two years, she felt something. Maybe it was a sense of safety after today, or maybe it was a sense of belonging. She hoped it was both.

"I don't remember much," Tash said, letting go of Callen as she realised she was still holding onto him.

"Time should fix that, now that the memories have started," a male voice came from behind her. Tash spun around and looked up. He was much taller than she was and she stepped back a little. Tash saw a frown of concern cross his face and he stepped back as well.

"I'm sorry. It's not that you scared me, you're just tall," Tash said, quickly.

Nate smiled gently at her.

"I'm Nate," he said, holding out his hand, allowing Tash to step closer to him if she wanted to.

Tash took it carefully and shook it before letting go. She had a feeling he was someone else she should know but, as she looked down at her hand, she wondered why she hadn't felt the same thing as when Callen had held hers at the beach. It was almost as if she recognised Callen's touch. She blushed slightly as she remembered her only past memory of Callen. Taking a deep calming breath, Tash turned around. She looked at Hetty.

"What do I do now?" Tash asked her. "Where do I go?" She figured that her uncle wasn't really her uncle, so she didn't really have a home to go to anymore. Perhaps that is why she hadn't remembered anything, because she hadn't belonged with him after all.

"You have nothing to worry about Miss Farrow. We will take care of you until your memories return," Hetty said. Tash believed her. Somehow she had a feeling that this little woman could do anything. "Miss Blye, perhaps you could show Miss Farrow to the bathroom. There is a change of clothes there for you to wear after you have freshened up." Hetty smiled gently at Tash as she finished speaking.

"Thank you," Tash said as she followed Kensi away. She could feel someone watching her but didn't turn around to see who.

"Hetty, what's the plan?" Callen asked after Tash and Kensi had disappeared from sight.

"Nate, this is your area," Hetty said, as they all turned to Nate.

"It doesn't sound like she has remembered much, even with the amount of time she has had. Hopefully, now she is back, they will come easier. Putting her in situations or places she has been before, that might help prompt them. She does need to remember things on her own. We can prod a little, but not too much at once. We need to take this slow to start with and see how it goes. Figure out what she can handle at this point," Nate said.

"So we don't actually tell her anything, just hint?" confirmed Callen.

"Yes, just to prompt. No outright reminiscing," Nate replied.

Callen turned to Hetty.

"How did she end up with Carl? She was supposed to be with her uncle," Callen asked her.

"Eric has been looking into that for us. Shall we?" Hetty asked, as she motioned up stairs. Callen, Sam and Nate followed Hetty upstairs to Eric.

"What do you have on Miss Farrow's uncle, Eric?" Hetty asked as they walked in.

"He died six months ago," Eric said, bringing up a photo of him on screen, along with another one of Carl Trippin, that Eric had pulled off the surveillance cameras from the pier. "They look a bit alike don't they?" Eric added.

"Who took her out of the hospital?" Callen asked, not entirely sure if he wanted to know the answer to that. He could see how one could be mistaken for the other, at least by someone untrained,or without something to compare the face to.

"We're not sure. The video footage from the hospital showed us someone who could be identified as her uncle or Trippin. But since we didn't have a photo of Trippin at the time, we assumed it was her uncle," Eric said.

That had been the hardest part of the mission, not actually knowing what Carl had looked like. Tash had to go in blind and hope that she could find her way through to him and then get them a photo. Seems like she'd made it through, but she hadn't managed a photo.

"So she's been with him all this time?" Callen asked.

"Looks like that might be the case," said Eric.

"At least she's not anymore," said Sam, thinking that if he hadn't already taken care of Trippin, he'd be very tempted to hunt him down. It sent shivers up his spine to think that he'd had Tash all this time, wondering what he had been filling her head with.

"We have her back gentlemen. Let's make sure she stays," Hetty said. She didn't really need to say it. She knew the four men in the room felt the same way as she did. Even after two years of being away, Tash was still as much a part of this team as the day she was shot.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

"Hetty's sending me out to get food. Want to come?" Sam asked, looking at Callen.

"Freeway or back streets?" Callen asked.

Sam rolled his eyes and said, "Freeway," at the same time as Tash. Callen looked over at her, holding back a smile.

"Back streets are faster," Callen said to her, seeing the opportunity to prompt a memory.

"Not with your driving," Tash replied quickly. Then she frowned.

"Tash?" asked Sam, hopeful. Tash shook her head and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry. It's like something on the tip of my tongue but I just can't remember," Tash replied, as she put her hands up to her head and ran her fingers through her hair. It was something she used to do when she was frustrated or when she had hit a brick wall with some theory.

"Would you like to go?" Callen asked her. Tash looked at him and shook her head.

"I think I might find somewhere to lie down," she said. She was tired and confused. So much had changed, but so little at the same time.

"I'll come Sam," Kensi said, and followed Sam out.

"There's a couch in the break room if you want to lie down," Callen said.

"The break room would be?" Tash asked, a lost look on her face.

"This way," Callen said, as he started to walk in the right direction.

"Is this something I should know?" Tash asked, as she walked by his side.

"No. We were somewhere else when you were with us," Callen replied. He heard her sigh.

"Well that's good. One less thing to worry that I have forgotten," Tash said as they arrived at the break room.

"There's a blanket underneath the table in front if you want it," Callen said. Tash looked at him, another one of those memories right there, but she just couldn't reach it.

"Tash, they'll come. Just let them happen," Callen said, seeing the frustration on her face.

"I want to know. For so long I haven't known who I was. Now, it's so close I can almost touch it. But I just ... I want to remember," Tash said. She looked at him for a moment, before asking, "Remind me please. What is it about couches? There is something there. Does it have to do with you?"

Callen looked at her, wishing Nate was here. He wasn't quite sure what he should do.

"Please G," Tash said. Callen heard the desperation in her voice. It was also the first time she had called him by name and he didn't think she even realised that she'd remembered what it was on her own.

"We used to fight over the couch in the old office," Callen said.

"Why?" Tash asked.

"Because neither of us wanted to go home," Callen said. That wasn't quite the truth, but it was close enough. Hopefully enough that she could remember on her own.

Tash frowned at him, then turned toward the couch and started to walk over to it.

"Are you always so cryptic?" Tash asked him.

"Only with you," Callen answered, as he smiled at her familiar question. She spun around, eyes wide, after another memory flashed through her mind.

_"Are you always so cryptic?" she asked him._

_"Only with you," he said._

_"Come on G. What is it you really want? Straight out," she asked, looking at him with her hands on her hips, frustrated with him._

_"You," he said._

"What is it?" Callen asked at her reaction to his words. She shook her head.

"Nothing," Tash said. These memories of him were just so confusing. "I need to lie down," she said as she turned and continued her way to the couch.

"Do you need anything?" Callen asked her.

"My mind," she replied. "Any idea where I left it?"

"Sorry," Callen said. Tash sat down on the couch and reached for the blanket. For some reason, she buried her face in it and took a deep breath. When she looked up, she frowned at him.

"It smells familiar," Tash said.

"Probably fabric softener," Callen said, his heart starting to beat a little faster. Or it could be the fact that he had slept here last night.

"Yeah, probably," Tash said, not quite believing him. He stood up from his position of leaning against the doorway.

"I'll come find you when they get back," Callen said and turned and left.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N - just a little chapter looking at things from Sam's side.  
_

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1  
_

** Chapter 4**

"So what's the deal with the freeway and Callen's driving that Tash mentioned?" Kensi asked Sam, as they were driving along the freeway. Sam chuckled.

"You know G's excuse about the back streets being more scenic and interesting," Sam said.

"Yeah," Kensi said.

"It wasn't always that way. He used to claim they were faster," Sam replied.

"And?" prompted Kensi, when Sam didn't say anything more. Sam smiled and remembered the first day he had met Tash, having already met Callen.

"First day I arrived at OSP, walked in on a 'discussion' between those two. First of many. Saw that the two of them were crazy about each other then too," Sam said, indicating as he exited the freeway.

"They were together? Even with his don't date cops rule?" Kensi asked, surprised. Callen hadn't broken his rule anytime since she'd been on the team. Could at least explain Callen's protectiveness of Tash though.

"Yeah, for about six months before she lost her memory," Sam said. "Anyway, I agreed with Tash about the freeway being the fastest way to Santa Monica Pier. They made a bet and had a race."

X

_Sam walked into the office and headed over to where his desk was. Leaning against it was Callen, facing a delicate looking, light brown haired woman he assumed to be Tash, who was sitting cross-legged on another desk. They were in the midst of a debate about traffic routes._

_"Seriously G, you cannot still believe that it is quicker to get from here to the Santa Monica Pier by going the back streets," Tash said._

_"Of course it is. You really think you can get to the pier quicker than me, especially in rush hour?" Callen replied, as Sam walked closer to them._

_"Rush hour? I'm not stupid. I'd rather spend rush hour in bed, not on the road." Tash retorted._

_"Alone?" Callen asked, raising his eyebrows at her. Sam chuckled. Sounded like these two could be trouble._

_Tash didn't answer Callen, but she turned to face Sam, having heard his chuckle._

_"Hi. You must be Sam. I'm Tash," she said, holding out her hand. Sam took it and was surprised at the softness of it._

_"So Sam, freeway or back streets. Which is faster from here to the Santa Monica Pier?" Callen asked him._

_"Easy. Freeway," Sam said. _

_Tash turned and smiled at Callen, __with a quick little raise of her eyebrows.__ "Two to one," she said. Turning back to Sam she added, "I like you already." Sam felt the same. He had already met Callen, but Tash had been sick at the time. He'd been looking forward to meeting the woman that Hetty had described as a crazy, talented but sweet girl, who balanced out Callen's roughness._

_"Let's race then," Callen said. Tash's eyes went wide as she looked around the office._

_"You have death wish G? What if Hetty heard you?" Tash asked. Sam could see that it wasn't only him who had a healthy appreciation of the little woman who was now his boss. He had a feeling that most people who worked for Hetty were scared of her._

_"I bet you I can beat you to the pier," Callen said confidently._

_"And when I win?" Tash asked, just as confidently._

_"If," Callen corrected. Sam had a feeling they did this often._

_"Uh, Uh. When. What do I get?" Tash asked, with a smile on her face that Sam had a feeling came from having won a few bets against Callen before._

_"What do you want?" Callen asked. Sam wondered just what was between the two of them given the tone to Callen's words._

_"Dinner. That new place that has a waiting list a mile long. Friday," Tash said. "But if you don't think you can do it..." Tash trailed off with a grin at Callen._

_"Oh I can do it, but I won't have to," Callen replied. "So what do I get when I win?"_

_"What do you want?" Tash asked. Callen raised his eyebrows. Tash gave a shrug. "What? You gave me a choice, only fair," she said._

_"I'll need some time to think about that," Callen said. _

_"Fine. Not like I'll have to come through. So, when do we do it?" Tash asked. _

_"Now," Callen said._

_"Fine. Sam, you want to come?" Tash asked as she turned to look at Sam._

_"Sure." Sam replied, "as long as I get to go the freeway." It would give him a chance to get to know Tash a little more._

_As they __headed for the door__, Hetty called down to them, "Where are you three off to?" _

_"Just taking Sam for a drive to get lunch. Want anything?" Tash called back over her shoulder. Sam was expecting to be called back since it was only ten in the morning._

_"No speeding tickets would be appreciated," Hetty replied._

_Tash smiled over at Callen, "Hear that G? Watch your speed."_

_"You were the last one to cop a speeding ticket, not me," Callen said as he walked over to his car._

_"Yes, but that was on the job. Your last one wasn't. In you hop Sam. Honestly, I'm not that bad a driver. He's worse," Tash said loudly, so Callen could hear, before she slipped behind the wheel and started the car. As soon as Sam was strapped in, she took off, following Callen out the drive and turning in the opposite direction. Sam stayed silent until they were on the freeway._

_"So, what's with you and G?" Sam asked._

_"What?" Tash asked, glancing over at him._

_"You and he an item?" Sam asked, clearing up his question._

_"G doesn't date cops," Tash said, focusing on the road. Sam didn't fail to notice she didn't actually say no._

_"Particular reason for that?" Sam asked._

_"Something about handcuffs. That was enough to stop me asking questions," Tash said with a little chuckle. Sam noticed she was going a little faster than she should be._

_"So you aren't interested?" Sam asked._

_"Why would you think I am?" Tash asked. Sam noticed the blush._

_"Just an observation. You two seem to have some chemistry going," Sam said._

_"Work. We've just spent a week pretending to be married. Probably left over from that," Tash replied as she exited the freeway. He didn't believe her._

_When she pulled up at Santa Monica Pier, Tash pulled out her phone and dialed._

_"You owe me dinner," she said and hung up. She smiled at him as she got out of the car and leaned against it, waiting for Callen to show up. Sam joined her. A few minutes later Callen pulled in and got out of his car. Tash burst out laughing._

_"You got a ticket," Tash said. Sam noted it wasn't a question but a statement. Callen walked over to them._

_"Maybe," Callen replied, holding back a smile._

_"You know what, lunch is on me. You still owe me dinner and I don't want you ditching because you can't afford it. Usual?" Tash asked Callen. He nodded. "What about you Sam? You trust me to pick something?" she asked turning to face Sam._

_"As long as it's got meat," Sam said. Tash smiled at him. _

_"Meat it is. Won't be long," Tash said as she walked away. Sam noted Callen watched her as she walked away._

_"So," said Sam, "You and Tash?" Callen looked back at him._

_"What?" Callen said. Sam almost chuckled at the similarity to Tash's reaction._

_"You and she an item?" Sam asked, __deciding to follow the same line of questioning he had with Tash._

_"I don't date cops Sam," Callen said._

_"So I heard. Something about handcuffs," Sam said. Callen looked at him._

_"__I__f you already knew, why did you ask?" Callen __asked him__._

_"Just checking. You know she gave me exactly the same answer as you," Sam said._

_"So?" Callen said, frowning at him._

_"Yeah. Neither of you actually answered the question," Sam said, giving a little chuckle. "Does she have a boyfriend?"_

_"Nope," Callen __answered with a small shake of his head__._

_"Why not?" Sam asked._

_"They don't tend to stick around long, plus, she's too busy with work. You'll find that out soon enough," Callen said._

_"You behind that?" Sam asked. Callen looked at him for a moment before answering._

_"She has lousy taste in men Sam. Sometimes, it's for her own good if they don't stick around," Callen answered and Sam couldn't help but notice the protective tone and __the __tension in Callen's voice. He was about to ask more when he saw Tash heading their way._

_"Here you go G, you can carry. Sam can drive," Tash said, handing Callen the box of food._

_"It's my car," Callen said, looking at her._

_"Yeah, but anymore speeding tickets this week and Hetty'll take away your keys and I'm sorry, but I like Sam and don't want you to chase him off," Tash said smiling at both of them. "Oh, and don't squash the cheesecake."_

_"Cheesecake? What kind?" Callen asked as he checked in the box._

_"Caramel and passionfruit," Tash said as she walked around to the drivers side of her car._

_"But I don't like... Oh Hetty," Callen said, nodding._

_"Yep, you'll need all the brownie points you can get. See you at the office," Tash said, slipping behind the wheel._

_"Hetty likes cheesecake?" Sam asked._

_"In particular, this one," Callen said as he moved to the passengers side. They both got in and Sam started the car._

_"You need directions?" Callen asked Sam._

_"Nope. Know how to get to the freeway from here," Sam said, starting to pull out of the car park._

_Callen groaned and said, "She'd pay for this if she hadn't already brought the cheesecake." Sam chuckled. He was sure he was right. These two were going to be trouble, fun, but trouble._

_X  
_

"So if he hadn't been caught?" Kensi asked, after Sam finished his story.

"He would have won," Sam answered, pulling the car into a parking space as they arrived at the place the were getting the food.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Callen watched Tash sleep for a couple of minutes, just enjoying the sight of her. He remembered the nights when he couldn't sleep, after they were together, when he had just watched her. It was almost as relaxing as sleeping.

"Tash," Callen said softly, as he finally moved to wake her. He gently touched her shoulder. He watched as her eyes fluttered open and Tash smiled at him sleepily. There was a familiar look in her eyes, and he wondered what she was thinking or maybe remembering. But then it disappeared and she looked confused again.

"You fell asleep. Sam and Kensi are back with food," Callen explained.

"Oh," Tash replied and as she sat up, she watched the blanket fall way from her.

X

_"You always steal the blanket?" she asked him as she looked at him on the other end of the couch._

_"No," he said, smiling at her. One of those smiles she knew was trouble, at least for her._

_"So why are you always doing it to me?" she asked, reaching for the blanket they were supposed to be sharing._

_"Like what's underneath," he said, as he let his gaze wander over her in a way that made her look down, unsure what she would find. It __also __made her blush._

X

Tash looked up at him as she felt the blush heat her cheeks. She looked away quickly. Callen didn't ask this time, but he found it hard to hold back a smile. He wasn't sure what she had just remembered, but he had a feeling he knew what it might have been about, given the blush on her cheeks and where they were.

"Come on. Foods getting cold," Callen said. As he walked away he let himself smile. His hope rising a little that she would remember soon.

"Miss Farrow, I would like you to stay here tonight. I will organise another place for you to stay tomorrow. You will be safe here," Hetty said, as they all sat down to eat.

"Okay. The couch seems comfortable enough," Tash said, just before she took a bite of the pasta Sam and Kensi had brought back.

"Just as long as G hasn't taken it first," Sam said. Tash's eyes flew to Sam. But before she could say anything, she registered the taste in her mouth and smiled, happy for another memory, no matter how small. After she finished the bite, she looked at Sam.

"You responsible for this?" Tash asked him, pointing with her fork at the plate in front of her.

"Why?" Sam asked, slightly nervous. He'd never liked answering a question from Tash when he wasn't sure why she was asking it. There was just so much trouble to be had if you weren't careful. It made questioning suspects interesting too. Probably came from her having a combined law/psych degree.

"Well, I just wanted to know who to thank. It is Alfredo's right?" Tash asked.

"How are you planning on thanking the person responsible?" Sam asked, glad to know she remembered.

Tash smiled and leaned over to Sam, who was sitting on one side of her, and kissed him on the cheek. It seemed right, familiar even.

"Thank you," she said.

"Wasn't just me," said Sam, as he looked to her other side, where Callen sat. "G's the one who told me what to get you."

Callen looked at her, waiting, wondering what she would do now.

Tash looked at him and felt butterflies in her stomach. She smiled and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek as well. It was a little longer than it had been for Sam and as she pulled back, Tash caught Callen looking at her and her breath caught in her throat. Tash shook her head slightly and went back to eating.

~O~O~O~O~O~

"You all set?" Callen asked later, as Tash settled down on the couch under the blanket.

"All set," Tash replied, as she rested her head on the pillow and looked over at him.

"Just yell if you need me. I'll be here," Callen said and turned to leave.

"G?" Tash called to him.

"Yeah?" Callen turned back to her.

"Why would we have been sharing a couch?" Tash asked him, frowning slightly.

"There was only one," Callen replied, holding back a smile. He'd been right, at least partially, about what she had remembered earlier. It was the truth, there had been only one couch.

"So why didn't one of us just go home?" Tash asked, wondering what the smile was about. It was mostly in his eyes, though she could see it slightly on his lips.

"Because I didn't have one and you wanted to bug me," Callen said.

"Bug you?" Tash asked, a small smile forming on her face.

"You seemed to know when I was planning on staying and, occasionally you would beat me to the couch. One night, I joined you," Callen replied, keeping it fairly close to the truth, not quite sure if this would be classified as outright reminiscing by Nate.

"Just one night?" Tash asked, remembering her flashback.

"No, not just one," Callen answered softly, then turned and left. There had been quite a few nights where they had shared the couch. Nothing happened, but the temptation was there for both of them. They'd fought it so long, he was surprised Hetty hadn't done something sooner to get them together.

Callen walked over to his desk, to find Hetty sitting in his chair, waiting for him.

"Is Miss Farrow settled for the night, Mr Callen?" Hetty asked.

"For now," Callen replied.

"Good. Tomorrow night, you will take her home with you," Hetty said. "We will set up a monitoring system there to make sure she is safe."

"Why?" Callen asked. Not that he didn't want to take Tash home with him, but he wasn't sure if maybe this was rushing things.

"Why not?" Hetty replied, with a knowing smile. "It has been a long time Mr Callen. Perhaps being home will help her remember."

"But it's not the same place," Callen said. He'd lost count of how many places he had been in since he'd lived with Tash.

"No, but it is with the same person," Hetty replied, standing up and walking away.

~O~O~O~O~O

Tash fell asleep and she dreamed, mostly just flashes, nothing strong enough to be called a memory. Except one.

_X_

_She saw the man behind Callen pull a gun. She looked at Callen, knowing he would understand, as she slowly reached for her gun. She gave a slight nod of her head, something he had taught her to do, and he dropped to the ground, just moments before she fired. As she felt the pain rip through her shoulder, she lost her footing in the sand and fell back against the pillar, an even greater pain ripping through her head. Her final thought being 'better me than him'. Then everything went black. She started to hear voices, drifting through the darkness and fought to come back to them._

_"Tash, come on, wake up," she heard Callen say._

_"G, you okay?" Now Sam. She felt the pain increase in her shoulder and fought not to let it send her back to oblivion. She needed to wake up._

_"I'm fine. Tash, please," Callen said, as she felt him gently tap her cheeks._

_Finally she managed to get her eyes open, to see him looking down at her, smiling slightly, but with fear in his eyes._

_"About time," Callen said to her. She was struggling, she could feel the darkness pulling her back. There was something she had to say before she let it though._

_"Love you," she said softly, just before she lost her grip on reality and the darkness took over again._

X

Tash woke up, her heart racing and a thin film of sweat on her, not quite sure what it was she had remembered. She need to talk to someone. She threw the blanket off and went to look for Callen. He'd said he'd be here. She didn't know how long she'd been asleep for. Tash made her way out to where she remembered his desk to be, but he wasn't there. She ran a hand through her hair, impatiently. Why, when she remembered something so big, did he have to not be there. The little confusing ones, which she didn't want to ask him about, yep, he was there.

"Tash," his voice came from behind and she jumped, startled.

"Can you stomp next time?" Tash said, hand on her chest, as her heart raced underneath.

"What's wrong?" Callen asked, concerned. She wasn't usually startled so easily. In fact, it was near impossible to creep up on her, even when trying and he certainly hadn't been trying.

"Dream, I need ... Did I kill someone? At the pier?" Tash asked, frowning in confusion.

"Yes," Callen replied truthfully. She'd obviously remembered the shooting. At least some of it.

"Who? Why?" Tash asked. She needed to understand, needed to make things clearer.

"One of Carl Trippin's men had been sent to kill us both. You got in first," Callen said.

Tash looked at him. So the dream was true. But she still didn't understand how he knew.

"How did you know what to do? How did you know to drop?" Tash asked, frowning, trying to make sense of all this.

"Because I know you," Callen said, reaching out to place his hand on her cheek. "Because I know you," he repeated softly, enjoying the feel of her skin beneath his fingers. Callen watched as her eyes drifted closed.

X

_She looked at the coffin and felt the tears fall down her face. Her best friend was gone. She hadn't told anyone why she needed time off. Hetty would probably know, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to say the words that would make it so final. As her best friend's father stepped up to the microphone, she felt someone sit down beside her. She didn't look to see who it was. It didn't matter. Whoever it was, was here for Emily. She felt an arm slip around her shoulders; a familiar, safe arm and she turned to see him looking at her._

"_Why are you here?" she asked softly, not really believing what she was seeing._

"_Because you need me," he said._

"_How do you know what I need?" she asked, tears falling from her eyes._

"_Because I know you," he said gently, wiping the tears from her cheeks._

X

"_I know you can do this Tash, come on," he said._

"_No," she said._

"_Yes you can," he said._

"_Why do you think I can?" she asked._

"_Because I know you," he said._

X

"_What are you doing here?" she said as she slowly lowered her gun, her heart racing at having discovered someone in her apartment when she arrived home._

"_Waiting for you," he said._

"_I could've killed you, you idiot," she said, mad at him for scaring her like that._

"_You wouldn't," he said._

"_Yeah? How do you know that?" she asked, a sarcastic tone to her voice, suggesting perhaps the thought had crossed her mind before now._

"_Because I know you," he said._

X

_"You want this as much as I do," he said, slipping his hands into her hair, holding her head still as he came closer._

_"How do you know?" she whispered. Though with words, she had tried to deny it for so long, her body had told both of them a very different story. _

_"Because I know you," he said. She smiled up at him._

_"Yes, you do," she said, as she slipped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer and kissed him._

X

Tash looked at Callen and felt faint. So many memories. Callen reached out and pulled her to him, as she started to sway. She looked like she was about to faint. Callen held her tight, whilst her head slowly stopped spinning, letting her go only when she pulled away.

"What were _we_?" Tash asked, as she stepped back and looked at him. Confusion clouding her eyes.

"You need to tell me that," Callen said, wishing he could just tell her everything and start their lives again.

"It's so confusing," Tash said as she started to pace. "Who was this Carl Trippin? Can you tell me that?"

Callen thought for a moment. He probably should talk to Nate but he felt she needed something.

"How about we go sit? Then we'll talk," Callen said, nodding to where the desks were. Tash went and sat in the one next to his.

"You were undercover, gaining the trust of Carl Trippin to get inside his organisation," Callen started.

"Undercover? As in spy?" Tash asked. Well, at least I think I can be sure that I was one of the good guys.

"Close enough," Callen replied. "We were meeting that day to pull you out. You thought it was a normal intel swap. We weren't sure if you'd been compromised, so we felt it safer to bring you in, but someone followed you," Callen said.

"The man I killed," Tash said.

"Yes," Callen confirmed.

"What happened to me?" Tash asked. She knew what had happened in her dream, but she needed to know for sure.

"You took a bullet to the shoulder," Callen said and watched her hand move to where the scar would be, "and when you fell and crashed back against the pillar, you took a nasty blow to the head. You lost all your memories."

Tash frowned. "I think I remember you. At the hospital. Were you there when I woke up?" she asked.

"All of us were, but you didn't remember us. Every time we came back, you were scared of us," Callen added. Tash could hear the pain in his voice.

"Why would I be scared of you?" Tash asked. She'd felt nothing but safe with him, and the rest of them, since meeting them again today.

"We don't know," Callen said. No one had been able to explain why she was so scared of them in particular. She'd been fine with the doctors and nurses.

"But you kept coming," Tash said softly. They all had, and she remembered how hard it had been to remember anything during that time, even what had happened earlier that day.

"For two months," Callen replied, "Then you were gone. Your uncle took you home."

"You didn't come after me?" Tash asked.

"Wanted to. But you were still scared. We thought it would be better to let you come back to us, when you were ready," Callen said.

Tash rested her elbows on the table and put her head in her hands. She was so tired, physically and mentally.

"Any chance another blow to the head would fix it?" Tash asked when she eventually looked over at Callen.

"You think we haven't thought about that?" Callen asked with a grin, trying to get her to smile.

"Anyone in particular interested in volunteering?" Tash asked.

"Not for that," Callen said. Tash raised her eyebrows and frowned at him, wondering what he meant.

"None of us want to hurt you Tash. None of us will, but we will help you remember. At least as much as Nate will let us," Callen said.

"Nate's just a big softy, you know I can get around him," Tash said. She frowned "Where did that come from?"

"You had a way with Nate. It was interesting to watch," Callen said remembering how she had ducked out of some of her sessions with the psychologist which left Nate either shaking his head, or not having even realised she had given him the slip yet again. It wasn't like she did it all the time, just occasionally. Callen learnt a thing or two from her which had come in handy.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N - Major shout out to aussietrueblue for her faithful reviewing. It means a lot. _

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

**Chapter 6**

The next day Callen and Sam came back into the office, having been out on a case. Tash looked them over and jumped up, going straight over to Sam.

"You're bleeding," Tash said to him.

"I'm fine Tash," Sam replied, reassuring her as he moved over and sat down in his chair

"Yeah, he had a run in with a tree," Callen said, leaning against his desk as he held back a smile.

"What?" Tash asked, looking at Callen. He seemed too happy about this.

"Suspect ran through some trees and sent a branch back. Sam didn't quite catch it in time," Callen said, grinning.

Hetty walked over with a first aid kit. "Miss Farrow, would you please to the honours?" she asked, handing the kit over.

Tash frowned as she took it and looked back at Hetty.

"Why me?" Tash asked.

"Because it is what you used to do," Hetty replied, as she walked away.

Tash looked back at Sam. "I did?"

"Yeah. You have a gentler touch than Hetty or G," Sam said. He knew this wasn't really necessary, but if it gave them another opportunity to help Tash remember, he'd put up with anything.

Callen took his seat and watched as Tash looked over to him, still frowning.

"I take it I don't have a problem with blood?" Tash asked, as she turned back to Sam and opened up the first aid kit.

Sam chuckled and said, "Just as long as it's not your own."

X

_He came out from behind the door. She wasn't quick enough and he had her pushed against the wall and her gun fell to the floor. Her heart was pounding at the cruel look in his eyes and she tried to break free. __S__he hated that this was the weakest part of her game. He pulled a knife on her and, as she saw it, she kicked things up a notch. Remembering some moves Sam had taught her in the last couple of weeks, she managed to get him off her and a kick sent him backwards, tripping on the rug, falling and breaking the coffee table. She reached for the gun lying on the floor and stood up, just as Sam and Callen came bursting in._

_"Bit late aren't you?" she said, breathing heavily. Callen walked over and checked on the suspect._

_"He's out cold. You okay?" Callen asked, looking her over as he slowly walked back to her._

_"I'm fine," she replied._

_"No you're not. You're bleeding," Sam said, looking at her arm. She looked down and instantly felt faint. Before she had a chance to say anything, Callen pulled her around, sat her on the stairs and pushed her head between her knees._

_"Breath," Callen ordered her._

_"Guess we should have a warning label stuck on the front of my file," she said weakly._

_"G?" Sam asked, concerned._

_"Forgot to tell you. Never tell her when she's bleeding," Callen said. "See if you can find a first aid kit in here." She still had her head between her knees, but at least she hadn't fainted. She hated this, it only happened when things were over. It was like whilst she was in the middle of a fight, she saw the blood but something in her mind switched off registering it was hers until things were safe. Then, she couldn't last more than about five seconds before things would go blurry. Callen was used to it, which is why he had her sitting so quickly._

_"Got your eyes closed too?" Callen asked._

_"What do you think, G?" she asked sarcastically. Of course she did._

_"Here," said Sam, having arrived back with the first aid kit._

_Callen pulled out what he needed. He poured the antiseptic on and then started to wrap up the wound. Anything to cover the blood. He was doing it quickly and wasn't as gentle as he could have been._

_"You know G, your bedside manner sucks" she said, as she took a deep breath against the pain._

_"Happy to work on it anytime, just say the word," Callen replied. Sam choked back a laugh, which had her looking up at him glaring, eyes finally opened._

_She looked down at Callen's handiwork and back up at him._

_"At least I'm not wearing something from Hetty's wardrobe. I should live to see another day," she said. Callen held out a hand to help her stand up. _

X

"But I can handle other people's blood?" Tash asked after the memory faded and she was patching up Sam.

"Yep, nothing fazes you unless it is your own," Callen replied.

"Well, there was that one time with you," Sam said as he glanced at Callen. "You didn't faint, but you were seriously mad at G."

Callen chuckled as he remembered that time.

"Are you going to let me in on it, or make me wait?" Tash asked, hoping they could give her something.

"Sorry, Nate says we can only prompt," Sam said as Tash stepped away from him, having finished fixing him up. She definitely still had the gentle touch.

"Since when do you do what Nate says," Tash said as she packed away the first aid kit.

"Tash, we want you to remember. We don't want to mess this up," Sam said as he looked at her. She looked back at Sam and he could see the desperation in her eyes. He wished there was an easier way for her to remember, to come back to them.

"So help me, tell me a little and see what happens," Tash pleaded.

"You only call me Callen when you're mad at me," Callen said to her. He knew how hard it was to resist that pleading voice of hers, especially coupled with the desperation he could hear. He hoped that he could distract her from questioning Sam. Tash turned at the sound of his voice to look at him.

"Do you make me mad often?" Tash asked him.

"Not very," Callen said. Tash mad at him wasn't something he enjoyed so he'd avoided it whenever possible.

Tash looked at him and frowned. There was something, but she couldn't quite reach it yet. As she turned around, Callen continued, "Mostly happens when you're wrong."

Tash turned back to him. "So does that mean I am usually right?" she asked, her lips twitching as she tried not to smile.

"Not as much as you would like to think," Callen said, though his voice had started to fade as she felt a memory start to play in her mind.

X

_She stormed into her apartment and spun around to look at him._

_"Dammit Callen, what was that all about?" she asked._

_"Callen?" he asked, eyebrows raised._

_"I'm mad," she said, putting her purse and keys on the table._

_"Mad about what?" Callen asked._

_"You. What you did tonight," she said, turning back to face him._

_"What? Talk to you? __Bring you home?__" Callen asked._

_"I was on a date, Callen. What were you even doing there?" Tash asked, emphasising his name so he knew how mad she was._

_"Having a drink. Didn't know you were going to be there," Callen replied. Her eyes narrowed at him._

_"Yeah right. Sam was the only one I told where I was going and it was nowhere either of you had been or talked about going. What did you do to get it out of him?" she asked, arms folded across her chest._

_"Nothing. He gave it up easy," Callen said, confessing. _

_Tash walked up to him and pulled out his phone from his pocket, dialing Sam._

_"G, how's Tash doing?" Sam answered._

_"One chance Hanna. Why did you tell Callen where I was tonight?" she asked Sam. _

_There was silence on the phone for a moment._

_"Worried about you. Didn't get a good feel about the guy. G said he would keep an eye on you. You weren't supposed to know he was there," Sam admitted. Tash hung up and turned back to Callen, pushing his phone back at his chest. He reached up and held her hand, along with the phone._

_"So, how did me not knowing you were there, turn into you sitting down at my table and chasing the guy off," she asked, trying to move her hand away._

_"I didn't chase the guy off. He'd already gone and wasn't coming back. I was just keeping you from being lonely," Callen said, finally releasing her hand when he had finished speaking._

_"How did you know he wasn't coming back? Can you read minds now?" Tash asked, fury now mixed with embarrassment if what he said was true._

_"No, but since he walked out of the restaurant with a blonde on his arm, figured he wasn't coming back," Callen said._

_She felt the fury leave her and sadness take it's place. She turned and started to walk away, toward her bedroom._

_"Tash," Callen called out to her._

_"Leave me alone G," she said._

_"At least you're not mad anymore," Callen said quietly, though she heard it and it brought a small smile to her face, just before she closed her bedroom door._

X

Tash looked at Callen and asked, "So did he really leave with a blonde?"

"Yes," Callen said. He knew what she was referring to. He held her gaze and watched as her eyes narrowed. Tash believed him, but she was sure there was something else.

"Did you have anything to do with that?" Tash asked.

Callen watched her for a moment whilst he tried to decide whether to tell her the complete truth or continue with what he knew she had remembered.

"Yes," Callen said, deciding on the truth.

"Why?" Tash asked.

"He wasn't good enough for you," Callen said. None of the guys she had dated had been, though it hadn't always been because they weren't good.

"Is anyone?" Tash replied sarcastically.

Callen didn't answer. He wasn't entirely sure he could say anything that was within Nate's rules that she would believe. Sam didn't feel that way though.

"Only one," Sam said.

Tash turned around. "Who?" she asked him.

"The right one," Sam replied.

"Oh good grief, don't tell me you are a cryptic fan too," Tash said, giving up. She picked up the first aid kit and walked away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Bedroom's through there. I'll take the couch," Callen said, once they were in his small apartment later that night.

"Look, you don't have to. I will be fine on the couch," Tash said. She moved over to it and placed the bag of clothes Hetty had given her beside it.

"You might be, but I don't like being on Hetty's bad side. You take the bed, give me a chance to stay on her good side," Callen replied. Unless you want me to join you, he added silently, though refrained from voicing it. That, he was sure would be pushing things a little too far, according to Nate's rules.

"G? Why am I here?" Tash asked, as she turned to face him.

"Hetty said to bring you back here," Callen replied. Because this is where you belong.

"Why? Why not Kensi's or Sam's or even Hetty's? Why you?" Tash asked.

"You don't know Kensi, it's not going to help with the memories," Callen said. He hoped that would be enough. He should have known better.

"So, Sam or Hetty?" Tash continued her probing. His reason for Kensi was valid, but what about the rest.

"No one's been to Hetty's place, and out of Sam and I, you and I have more history," Callen admitted.

"What kind of history?" Tash asked.

"All sorts. We worked together for two years Tash. There's a lot there," Callen said. Really, Nate should have known better than to say they couldn't tell her anything. He knew what she was like with asking questions and being determined to get them answered.

Tash looked at him but decided against further probing. He looked uncomfortable with the conversation and she didn't want that.

"So what's to eat?" she asked instead, and walked to the small kitchen.

"Menu's on the fridge," Callen said. "Pick what you feel like and I'll order."

"No food in the cupboard?" Tash asked as she flicked through the menus.

"Haven't been here long. Shopping's not high on the priority list," Callen said. Tash pulled out a menu and threw it at him.

"This will do, you pick. It's been a while since I've had pizza," Tash said. She was looking through the cupboards for a glass so she didn't notice Callen's look. He wondered if she had any idea that she had just picked the menu for the place they had ordered from the first night they had moved in together. He had menu's from at least three pizza places on the fridge. Callen picked up the phone and ordered.

"You be okay whilst I go get it?" Callen asked, once he was finished on the phone.

"I promise I won't throw any wild parties," Tash said as she turned to him and smiled.

"Don't answer the door, I've got my keys," Callen said as he picked them up and walked to the door.

"Stop worrying G. I'm sure I've done this before," Tash said. She was touched that he was so concerned.

Callen looked back at her, "Probably not for a while," he said.

"Go. You don't want to keep a girl waiting for food do you?" Tash asked.

"Not one with your appetite," Callen said as he walked out the door.

X

_She heard a gun shot, followed by Sam's voice in her ear piece, "G's down!" She ran quickly, heading to where they were. Her heart racing, nothing at all to do with her running. She paused, just before the corner of the building and looked around to check. She saw where Sam and Callen were taking cover. There were two men firing at them._

_"I'm fine, guys," she heard Callen's voice. At least he sounded all right._

_"We're coming in from the other side. Tash, you ready?" came the voice of the other team._

_"I'm set," she replied._

_"Go," the other voice said._

_She moved around the corner, weapon raised and aimed it at the first guy she saw going after her team. She took him down easily, one shot that would keep him down but not kill him, hard as that was not to do. There was fury running through her veins that they had hurt one of her own. The other team came in and took down the second and she ran again. Straight to Callen and Sam._

_She looked them both over quickly, noting that neither looked like they were in serious danger of dying and then she focused on Callen._

_"What happened?" she demanded, looking at him._

_"It's just a graze" Callen said looking down at his stomach. She followed his gaze and saw the graze on his side, bleeding, but not too much. Sam was putting pressure on it._

_"Eric, is there an ambulance on the way?" she asked._

_"I don't need an ambulance," Callen protested._

_"You gonna let me stitch you up?" she asked him, barely containing the fury she felt at him being hurt._

_"Maybe. If you calm down," Callen said._

_"Calm down! You've been shot Callen, what do you expect," she said, trying to figure out what she could do whilst they waited. She looked down at her shirt, she could rip off a bit of it. No, Hetty would kill her, it wasn't her shirt. She was still in the clothes from an earlier undercover op that she hadn't had the time to change from._

_"Great, she's mad at me," Callen said, rolling his eyes._

_"Why the hell didn't you have your vest on?" she asked, trying to stop herself from shaking. She'd had no idea what had happened when Sam had said those words and she was sure her heart had stopped for a moment. She knew she was over-reacting, but right now, she was having a lot of trouble with her emotions. She'd better figure out how to get a handle on them or she would be in trouble with Hetty._

_"Because that would have given us away," Callen said. "Tash come on, it's just a graze."_

_"Ambulance is almost there guys," Eric said._

_"I don't need one Eric, Tash can fix this just fine," Callen said looking at her._

_Looking back at him, she shook her head._

_"No, I can't. Eric send it," she said, standing up and starting to turn, as she fought to control the tears._

_"Tash, I'm fine. Really. Come and look," Callen pleaded with her._

_Reluctantly she turned back to him._

_"Come on," Callen said softly._

_She knelt down and looked carefully. She knew he was right, she could fix it, she'd fixed worse before. It wasn't the wound, but the man wounded, that was causing her the problem._

_"Let the ambulance go for someone who really needs it," Callen said._

_"What? You mean the bad guys lying over there?" she asked. "They get the best and leave you with a patch up job."_

_"You are the best Tash. They'd be too rough," Callen replied. "You know how I like a gentle touch."_

_"Flattery will get you nowhere Callen," she replied. She couldn't look at him, she was only just getting a handle on things and knew if she looked at his face she'd lose it again. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him._

_"What about flowers? Will that stop you from being mad at me?" Callen asked._

_"Depends on the flowers," she said._

_"Mistletoe," Callen said with a smile._

_"It's nowhere near Christmas G, don't even think about it," she replied, trying not to smile._

X

Callen arrived back to find her asleep on the couch. He was tempted to let her sleep, but he knew she was hungry and so was he.

"Tash," Callen said, gently shaking her awake again.

"Sorry. Guess I'm more tired than I thought," Tash said as she sat up. "Smells great."

They moved to the table and sat down to eat. About halfway through Tash looked at Callen thoughtfully.

"What's the deal with mistletoe?" Tash asked. Callen stopped eating and looked at her.

"Why? What did you remember?" Callen asked cautiously.

"You were trying to stop me being mad at you. Asked me if flowers would work. I asked you what kind, you said mistletoe," Tash said. It all seemed to make perfect sense in her memory, but not now.

"That would be the time you weren't happy that I'd been shot," Callen said, remembering how mad she had been. They'd only been dating about a month at that point.

"You called it a graze," Tash said.

"It was. You did a great job stitching me up," Callen said. He knew she'd get back to the mistletoe, but he'd needed some time to figure out how he was going to answer her. He didn't get much.

"So, mistletoe? You gonna tell me?" Tash asked, as she turned back at her food and started eating again.

"No, I can't," Callen said, reluctantly.

"Why not?" Tash asked as she looked at back him, frustrated.

"Because I'm not sure if you are ready to remember that," Callen said quietly.

Tash looked at him for a moment before she spoke. "I'm here. I've remembered something about it, why can't you just help me remember the rest?" she asked him.

"Because I don't want to scare you off," Callen said. That and Nate's rules.

"I've spent two years not knowing who I am. That was scary enough. I want to know," Tash said desperately.

"It'll come. It's already happening," Callen said. Tash didn't say anything more, just continued to eat in silence. When they'd finished she stood up and cleared their plates.

"I think I'll go to bed," Tash said, "Goodnight." She couldn't stay up, not knowing that he knew so much about her and wouldn't answer. She was frustrated enough, without hitting her head against a brick wall, trying to get answers out of him that wouldn't be forthcoming. If she was going to hit anything, it should be Nate for his stupid rules that they weren't allowed to tell her anything.

Callen looked over at her, "Night," he said, as he watched her walk away to the bedroom.

Callen put his head back on the couch and remembered the mistletoe incident, wishing he'd been able to share it with her, but he couldn't. Nate didn't want them giving her too much information, didn't want them telling her stories. He'd said she needed to remember on her own. The mistletoe story was big, because it had been the start of them finally getting together.

X (Callen's pov for this memory)

_It was the week before Christmas and the Office Christmas party was well under way. He looked over at Tash and saw her standing by the Christmas tree, smiling, as she talked with someone. He really wasn't sure who because he was only interested in looking at her. Hetty came up beside him._

_"You know Mr Callen, you could go and talk to her," Hetty said._

_"Who?" he asked, playing dumb. At the look on Hetty's face he knew he shouldn't have bothered._

_"Mr Callen, I have watched the two of you, for eighteen months, dance around each other, getting so close at times and pulling back at others. The dance has to stop," Hetty said._

_"I know we can't Hetty," he said, wishing it wasn't the case._

_"No Mr Callen, you can. As long as it doesn't affect your work. I didn't say you couldn't dance with her, just that this particular one has to stop. Make your choice Mr Callen. You either want her or you don't," Hetty said bluntly. She handed him two Santa hats, one red and one green. _

_"What's this for?" he asked frowning at her._

_"One for you and one for Miss Farrow. I need some little helpers to fetch the Secret Santa presents from upstairs in the store room. Go, and take Miss Farrow with you," Hetty said. When he didn't move Hetty repeated her instructions._

_"Go, and don't forget to put on the hats," Hetty said with a knowing smile as she pushed him in Tash's direction._

_He walked over to Tash, who looked at him and smiled, as he approached._

_"What's up G?" she said as she looked down at the hats. "Hetty got you playing Santa?" _

_"Both of us. You get to be the elf," he said handing her the green hat. _

_"At least Hetty isn't making us wear the full costumes this year," Tash said as she put it on._

_"Where to Santa?" Tash asked, looking at him with another smile. He looked at her hat and held back a laugh. It wasn't that she didn't look great. It was what was on top. Hetty had placed some mistletoe on the top of it. He still found it hard to believe that Hetty had given him permission to pursue this. As he realised that the mistletoe on the hat basically meant she could be kissed by any guy in the room now, he quickly took her hand and walked away._

_"Follow me, little elf," he said, pulling her over to the stairs and up._

_He found the storeroom and walked in, turning on the light. He turned around and looked at her. She had stopped in the doorway, looking at him strangely._

_"What are you up to G?" Tash asked him._

_"Playing Santa, like Hetty asked," he replied, slightly confused by her look._

_"Where are the presents?" Tash asked. Callen looked around and saw that there were no presents in there. He heard Tash laugh and turned around._

_"Seriously G, you could have just asked you know," Tash said as she stepped forward into the room. "You didn't have to go to so much trouble for a kiss." _

_He saw her look up and followed her gaze. The roof was lined with mistletoe. He looked back at her._

_"That's Hetty, not me," he replied, watching her reaction carefully._

_"So Hetty wants to kiss someone," Tash said, followed by a giggle. _

_"Maybe," Callen said quietly. He liked the sparkle in her eyes that came when she was so happy and was having fun._

_"What about you?" Tash asked, the sparkle still there, though she was slightly more serious now, as she watched him too._

_"Definitely," Callen replied. Now he understood the look on Hetty's face. She'd set them up. He stepped closer to her, and watched as Tash swallowed nervously. "You?" he asked, his gaze locking with hers. When she didn't answer, he slipped his hands into her soft hair at the back of her neck; she'd left it loose. He gently held her head still as he moved closer, whilst he said softly and confidently, "You want this as much as I do."_

_"How do you know?" Tash whispered. Though with words, she had tried to deny it for so long, her body had told both of them a very different story. _

_"Because I know you," he said. She smiled at him._

_"Yes, you do," Tash said, as she slipped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer and kissed him._

X

It took Tash a little while to settle down and go to sleep that night. She'd tried to remember what the deal was with mistletoe, but nothing would come. She felt a little guilty that Callen was on the couch, when this was his bed. She rolled over onto her stomach and buried her head in the pillow, smothering a groan. She had been patient for these past two years, not that she hadn't tried to remember, but that nothing had come, so she had nothing to go on. Now there were so many little things and she was surrounded by people who actually seemed to know her. As she took a deep breath, the smell of the pillow reminded her of something and she frowned. She took another breath and then it hit her. It was the same as the blanket at the office. She rolled over and thought about her memories so far. She smiled slightly. The smell hadn't been fabric softener, not unless he actually used it and she had a feeling he didn't. Callen had said they had history; a lot of it. She was sure that there was a personal side to it as well. She just couldn't remember exactly what, and until she did, she wouldn't say anything to him. If she was wrong, that would be too embarrassing. She closed her eyes, relaxing a little, almost as if solving that one little mystery was enough for now. And again, she dreamt.

X

_"G, where's Sam?" she asked as soon as Callen answered his phone._

_"Thought he was picking you up this morning?" Callen replied._

_"He's late," she said. "Haven't known Sam to be late for anything unless he was with you."_

_"How late?" Callen asked._

_"Five minutes," she replied, looking anxiously up and down the street._

_"That's not long, Tash," Callen replied._

_"G, please," she begged. Something was wrong, she could feel it._

_"Hold on, I'll get Eric to check," Callen replied._

_She waited._

_"He's about five minutes away but the car's not moving. Not answering his phone either," Callen said._

_"Send it to me, I'll meet you there," she said, before hanging up on him._

_Sam, you'd better be all right, she thought, as she pulled her keys out and jumped in her car. Checking the GPS, she drove faster than the speed limit allowed, pulling rapidly to a stop, just behind a crowd of people. She could see smoke and flames just in front of them and hurried out of the car. Trying to push herself through the crowd, she gave up and stopped. She put her fingers to her lips and gave an incredibly loud whistle, quite pleased that it was probably the loudest one she had ever managed to do. _

_"Excuse me, Federal Agent. Please move out of the way," she said, holding up her badge and moving forward through the space that cleared for her. When she saw the car on fire, she started to run._

_"SAM!" she screamed. Even on fire, she recognised the car as Sam's._

_She tried to get close, but the flames were too hot. She looked around trying to find him, still screaming his name. She couldn't see him, no one answered her screams. At least not that she could hear with the sound of her blood pounding through her ears and the roar of the fire. She turned back to the car, trying to figure out what she could do. She felt the tears fall down her face. There was nothing she could do. "Sam," she whispered. She felt someone's arms slip around her and turn her around. It was Callen._

_"Tash, he's fine. Come on," Callen said gently. He led her away from the flaming car and into a small shop where Sam was sitting, whilst someone checked over his cuts. She flew at him and hugged him hard. When she didn't let go, Sam said, "Hey, you know it would help if I could breathe."_

_She pulled away and hit him on the shoulder, perhaps a little harder than she had meant to. _

_"Don't you ever scare me like that again, Hanna," she said, tears still falling. She turned and walked away, finding a wall she could lean her head against, as she tried to calm herself down. It wasn't working though. She wasn't really mad at him, more at herself for her reaction. But she couldn't help it. The thought of Sam trapped in that car, burning, brought back too many painful memories._

_Again, she felt Callen's arms slip around her and turn her around. She threw her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. She knew he would understand. He knew what had happened to her father. He didn't say a word, just held her._

X

"Tash," Callen said trying to wake her. He'd heard her crying out for Sam in her sleep and had come into check. He hadn't been able to wake her up yet. Finally her eyes opened and she looked at him. She sat up and threw her arms around his neck and continued to cry.

"Sam," she sobbed against his neck, "Fire." He held her close and rubbed his hands up and down her back, the way he used to when she was upset.

"It's okay, Tash. He was fine. He was knocked out, but someone got him out the car, and away from it, before it exploded. His phone was still in the car and he'd only just come around when I got there," Callen said quietly, not quite sure where her dream had finished and wanting to reassure her.

"What about my father?" Tash asked, looking up at him.

Callen looked at her carefully before speaking. He saw the pain in her eyes. If there was one memory he didn't want her to have to relive, that would be the one.

"Another time, let's get you back to sleep," Callen said as he brushed her hair away from her face.

"No, I need to know. Please," Tash begged him. "Please G, help me."

Callen couldn't refuse. He'd never been able to when she looked at him like that. He thought for a moment about the best way to tell her.

"Your father was working on his car. Something happened and the car exploded. He died," Callen said, keeping it brief. She didn't need the full details right now, hopefully she never would.

"How old was I?" Tash asked.

"Eight," Callen said softly. He saw the tears fall again and pulled her back into his arms, whispering gently, "I'm sorry."


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N - Thanks to those reading, reviewing and alerting this story._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

**Chapter 8 **

"Miss Farrow, would you mind joining us upstairs?" asked Hetty. Callen and Tash had just arrived at the office the next morning.

Tash frowned, not quite sure why she felt she was in trouble.

"Nothing like that, my dear. It is just time for you to see if you can remember a bit more of what you did here," Hetty reassured her as she noticed the look on Tash's face.

Tash looked at Callen and he shrugged, not knowing what Hetty had in mind.

"Okay." Tash started to walk to the stairs with Callen following. Tash looked back at Hetty who was returning to her desk.

Hetty glanced up to them, "On you go, I'll be there shortly."

They went up and joined Eric and the rest of the team.

As Tash was leaning against the table waiting for Hetty, her hands automatically went behind her and she pushed herself up to sit on the table.

"You don't want to do that," Callen whispered, smiling at her. It was good to see she was subconsciously remembering little things that she used to do.

Tash frowned, "Why not?"

"Hetty doesn't like it," Callen replied, glancing behind them as Hetty walked through the door.

"Bring up the case Mr Beale," Hetty requested. "Miss Farrow, I will allow it this time in the hope that it will bring back some of your memories, however, I do prefer my agents to have their feet firmly on the ground, where possible."

Callen looked at Hetty then back at Tash, shaking his head slightly at her getting away with it.

"Does this make me the favourite?" Tash asked quietly and smiled at Callen.

"For now, Miss Farrow, but that could change," Hetty answered. Sam and Kensi both chuckled in the background.

"Murdered de-facto wife of a Naval officer. Only came in day before yesterday but we've struck a dead end. No pun intended. We've gone over everything, talked to everyone. But can't manage to get any proof on who the murderer was. Crime scene was clean, no one saw or heard anything," Eric summarised as he brought up the information on the screen. Tash guessed she had seen this before, as she wasn't surprised at the technology they were using.

"Tash, we want you to see if you can get into the head of the victim," Nate explained.

Tash turned and frowned at him, "Isn't that your domain, Nate?"

"No, I usually go for those still living. You were working on a theory about the victim being able to help, if you could figure out what he or she might have been feeling or thinking just before," Nate answered.

"How was I doing that?" Nate shrugged at her question. Tash turned to Callen, a questioning look on her face. Callen shook his head.

"I don't know either. Somehow, sometimes, you just could," Callen replied to her unspoken question.

"Eric, the victim please." Tash turned back to the screen at Hetty's request.

"Twenty eight year old female. Died at home from single stab wound to the heart. Signs of slight bruising but none of it seems to indicate a struggle," Eric informed them.

"She didn't fight back?" Tash was confused. Why didn't she fight? She tried not to think too much. There was something about this that seemed familiar. Maybe if she could just let it happen. She blocked everything from her mind except what she could see in front of her on the screen.

"Not that we can tell," Eric replied.

Tash frowned. "How could she not?" She looked at the pictures and whilst she tried to make sense of what she saw she asked, "Who's the most likely suspect?"

"The de-facto husband," Callen answered. "He was supposed to be deployed but he arrived back early. Apparently, heading to his parents to get a family ring so he could propose. He stayed the night and returned to find her dead in their kitchen around lunchtime." He understood what Hetty had in mind now. This case, whilst not nice, wasn't too bad for a first case. It was quite tame, considering some of the other cases they had on the books at the moment.

"Apparently?" Tash turned to face Callen as she spoke.

"His parents had gone away. The only proof we have is the ring, which he did actually have," Callen explained. Tash looked back to the screen and the pictures.

"She died the night before right?" After recieving confirmation, she asked, "What about a boyfriend? Lover?"

"Husband claims there wasn't one," Sam said.

"Yeah right." Tash rolled of her eyes.

Callen looked at her, raised his eyebrows, and smiled. She was sounding like the old Tash now. "Why's that?"

"Look at what she is wearing," Tash hopped down off the table and moved toward the screen. "You don't wear something like that for no one." The victim was in a lacy, black and red corset, matching pants and stockings.

"Really?" Callen asked. "Why not?" Tash turned and looked at him.

"Seriously? Is that what you guys think us girls wear at home? Do you have a back view?" Tash asked as she turned to Eric.

"Yep."

Tash smiled her thanks and turned back to the screen, as Eric brought up the appropriate photo.

"Bigger please Eric...Look at those hooks. There's got to be at least ten there and they are a serious pain to do up." Apparently some things were just knowledge, not memory.

"Not that easy to undo either," Callen added, as he watched for her reaction to his words.

"You don't wear something like that to lounge around the house in on your own, it's not meant to be worn for long," Tash continued. She ignored his comment, though her heart had started to race as his words brought up a flash of a memory, just a picture this time. Another one of them.

Callen held back a smile, noticing the little things about her reaction; she didn't look at him; the slight tinge of pink on her cheeks; and the flash of something in her eyes. Callen shook his head slightly, shaking off the picture in his mind and focused back on the case.

"Why not?" asked Eric.

"It's not exactly comfortable. The bones can be painful if you sit down for long," Kensi replied.

Callen turned to Tash and asked, "Who was she waiting for? Maybe she was just trying on something for later."

"I don't know," Tash replied, a frown of concentration on her face. "Perhaps you should have another chat to the husband though."

"Nice work, Agent Farrow." Callen smiled as he spoke and headed past her to the door. "Sam, let's go."

~o~o~o~o~o~o

"How did things go with you and Tash last night?" Sam asked Callen as they drove away from the office, heading off to speak with the husband again.

"She had some more memories, like when she got mad at me for getting shot," Callen replied.

Sam chuckled. "That's good. Guess we managed to prompt that one after all. Anything else?"

"Yeah. She dreamt about you and the car." It had taken her a while to settle back to sleep after that. Callen didn't remember how long they had sat on the bed, him holding her, stroking her back. Eventually Tash had pulled away, brushing the tears of her face and looking embarassed at her reaction. He'd reassured her it was okay and she'd finally settled back onto his pillow and he'd gone back to the couch. Somewhat reluctantly, not wanting to leave her alone in case she had anymore bad memories come back through the night.

"Not so good with that one." Sam held back a shudder as he remembered that time. It wasn't a particular happy memory for any of them, how close he had come still being in the car.

"No. She also asked about her father," Callen added.

"What did you tell her?" Sam asked, concerned.

"As little as I could get away with. Didn't tell her she was there," Callen replied. "That's one memory I'd prefer she didn't get back."

"She seemed like her old self just now. You think this will be over soon, that she'll remember quicker now she's with us?" Sam could see the difference in Callen, now Tash was back. Could see the hope in his eyes, the hope that he had watched disappear over those two months, so long ago.

"We can hope," Callen replied.

"We can do more than hope G. We can actually help her now. We've got her, she's not scared anymore." Sam was confident that she would get better and be their Tash again. He'd do whatever necessary to help her. As he was sure Callen would too.

"I know, but she still doesn't remember."

Sam detected a note of sadness in his partner's voice and asked, "She doesn't remember the two of you yet?"

"Not that she's said," Callen admitted. He was sure she had remembered some things, but not enough to be confident to talk to him about it.

Sam grinned. "She will. You're not that easy to forget."

~o~o~o~o~o~o

When they returned to the office, Callen found Tash lying on the table in the Op Centre, looking at the ceiling and tapping her fingers together. It was a familiar sight. Eric had left her to mull things over when she had asked for time alone. Again, familiar.

"I should call Hetty up. Get my spot back as favourite," Callen said from the doorway. Tash sat up quickly and looked at him.

Tash smiled. "She's out for lunch."

Callen grinned back and walked closer to her. "Checked did you? Come up with anything more from the victim?"

"Not sure. Any luck with the husband?" Tash asked.

Callen shook his head. They had nothing new.

"Still denies there was anyone else. I think he is telling the truth." Callen stopped by the table and lent against it, whilst he watched her.

Tash turned to look at the screen. "He might be, but it's not." She looked back to him before she continued. "She didn't fight. She was feeling safe with whoever it was. She must have known him."

"Him?" Callen asked, pleased to see she seemed to be finding her way into work mode. She might come up with assumptions but generally those assumptions sent them in the right direction if they had nothing else to go on.

"Just a feeling." Tash moved down off the table. "I'm missing something, I know I am." Tash frowned as she walked over to the screen. "But what?" She moved some photos around on the screen as she tried to figure it out.

"I'll get Sam to get a list of names of people she knew." Callen turned to go as he spoke, to let her work this through on her own, as she used to.

"Stay please. I think I'll need your help," Tash asked, as she turned to him. She wanted him to stay, she was feeling a little out of her depth.

Callen moved back to stand beside her. "Sure," he replied.

"How tall was she?" Tash asked. She had so much information in her head that she couldn't keep track of it all. Maybe if she had someone else tell her it might help straighten things out a little.

Callen checked the appropriate file. "Five seven."

"Five eleven then in the shoes." Tash pointed to the high heeled shoes the victim was wearing. "What about the husband?" she asked.

"Five eight," Callen replied.

Tash frowned. "So he was shorter than her at the time."

"Meaning?" Callen asked, as he looked at her and saw the familiar look of concentration on her face.

"Which means we are probably looking for someone over six foot, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to reach around her throat and her chest like that." Tash pointed to the pictures on the screen as she spoke.

"Ruling the husband out." Callen could see where she was going with this.

Tash turned around and looked at him. "Feel like some role play?"

"What did you have in mind?" Callen asked. She occasionally did this with him when working through a problem. He wondered if she'd actually remembered that or if it was just instinct, like sitting on the table had seemed to be. Tash smiled.

Tash moved closer to the screen. "See these indents here from the corset," she pointed them out.

"What about them?" Callen couldn't see anything different, but trusted that she did.

"They're slightly darker than the rest just here," Tash said. "Like someone was holding her tight. And here, on the neck. The slight bruising. It's not all the way around, so someone wasn't holding her neck in their hands."

"So what do you want me to do?" Callen moved away from the photos and turned back to her.

"Pretend I'm her. See what you can do that would match." Tash turned and faced the screen so she could see the pictures.

Callen walked up behind her, slipped an arm around her ribs and an arm around her neck, checking the photos to see if it matched up.

"Other way." Her voice was soft and focused. He swapped arms. "Better," Tash added. "You're the right height, comparatively speaking." Perfect height actually, as she felt how easily they seemed to fit together. Tash shook her head slightly to get her mind back on track, on the case, not on the feel of being in his arms.

"So why didn't she fight?" Callen asked. He was enjoying the feel of holding her again. Just like he had last night, only this time was more fun.

Tash frowned as she pulled away and went closer to the screen."I don't know." Blowing up the one that showed the bruises on the woman's neck, Tash tilted her head. Callen knew it was a sign she was concentrating hard, so he waited patiently, missing her.

"Again," she said softly and stepped back to him. He complied.

"That's not right, the bruising doesn't match up. She wasn't facing straight, she was...looking at him." Tash she turned her head up to look at him. Callen caught her gaze for a moment and almost forgot what they were doing.

"Why was she looking at him?" Callen watched her eyes, saw how she was seeing something else, as she tried to figure out an answer to his question. He waited patiently. This was Tash in work mode, at least this part of her work. It was a different look to what he saw when she was remembering something.

"He was the lover, she wanted him," Tash started to explain what she was thinking. "Maybe even kissed him." Tash looked at his mouth and Callen saw a blush come over her cheeks. She continued to look at him, but her mind returned to something only she could see.

"How did he get away with hurting her?" Callen asked, his voice soft as he still watched her face. He knew what to look for. He didn't want to disturb that, especially if it would help her remember more.

Her voice was soft when she finally replied. "She didn't know. She wasn't conscious. He took her breath away when he kissed her. It was normal that she fainted. She found it a thrill, so he'd kiss her until she did. Then all he to do was lay her down and do it. She wouldn't have known anything." Tash didn't take her eyes off him whilst she spoke.

Callen took advantage of the role play. He'd waited so long for her to come back to him, so moved his head to kiss her.

Tash was shocked when she felt his lips on hers, but she didn't pull away. Somehow this was familiar and she wanted to know why. So she returned the kiss and found herself forgetting what they had been doing. It just felt so right. When Callen finally broke it off, Tash was breathless, barely breathing and he had to hold her up.

"Guess you were right," Callen said quietly. He was tempted to kiss her again when she didn't pull away, but Eric choose that moment to walk into the room and they pulled apart quickly.

"Well, well, well. You two back..." Eric started to say.

"Just working on the case Eric," Callen cut him off, wishing he had closed the door and, preferably, locked it.

"Eric," her voice not quite as strong as normal as she asked, "did they do DNA testing of the victim's mouth and stomach contents?"

"I'll check. Why?" Eric asked.

"Make sure they test everything, just might find something our killer left behind," Tash directed, as she walked out of the room. She needed to get away from Callen, her thoughts were so scrambled. Everything pointed to them having a relationship but she didn't know what kind. Some of her memories looked more like cases, than life. She went to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face. Who was he to her?

Callen watched her go, wondering what was going through her mind. She had returned his kiss, responded like she always had; fully, passionately and not holding back. He knew she had enjoyed it. So had he. Given her response, he hoped that it might spark other memories. He also hoped it wouldn't be too long before they got the chance to do that again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Callen looked up and saw Renko walk in, sit down at Sam's desk and put his feet up on the table, making himself at home.

"What are you doing back?" Callen asked him.

"Why, Hello Renko, how's things? Fine thanks Callen. Nice of you to ask. What about you?" Renko replied with a roll of his eyes.

Callen stared at him and waited.

Renko shrugged. "I heard that Tash was back. Wanted to say hi."

Callen noticed Hetty walking toward him but didn't warn Renko about it. "She doesn't remember you."

Renko grinned confidently. "Not yet, but I'm sure she will."

"Don't push her. Nate's orders." Callen was slightly defensive. He knew Tash and Renko had been friends, but he'd never liked it when they had to go undercover together. He'd been particular relieved when Renko had been placed deep undercover on a long term mission that meant he wasn't a regular team member anymore.

"I won't push. It's not like she could forget me, is it?" Renko asked.

"She has. Personally, I wouldn't care if she didn't remember you." Except that would mean a lot of memories that included him, from the time when Renko was on the team wouldn't be remembered.

Renko grinned. "You just don't want her to remember that I kiss better than you."

"You wish," Callen replied. He knew better, but wouldn't say anything.

"Guess we'll just have to ask her then won't we?"

At that moment, Hetty stepped out of the shadows. "No Mr Renko, you will not."

Renko jumped and quickly removed his feet from the table. "Hetty. Hi." He turned to Callen with a glare. Callen smiled back innocently.

"Miss Farrow's recovery is delicate. You are welcome to see her, but you are not to tell her stories. Prompting, Nate will allow, but that is all. Do I make myself clear?" Hetty added. She looked seriously at Renko over her glasses, and indulged in a small smile of satisfaction at the look on his face. He wouldn't dare disobey her and risk facing her wrath, not again.

"Crystal, Hetty."

"Good." Hetty nodded and walked away.

Renko turned back to Callen after Hetty left and asked, "Where is she?"

"In with Nate," Callen replied, grateful for the timing of Renko's visit. If he was lucky then perhaps Tash wouldn't be out anytime soon and Renko would have to leave before he had a chance to see her.

"Hasn't ditched him?" Renko put his feet back up on the table but he quickly removed them as Callen glanced in the direction of Hetty's desk.

Callen chuckled. "No. Doesn't remember how yet."

Renko turned serious. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Looking good so far," Callen replied. Even if he didn't like Renko much, he did know that they had both cared about Tash, in their own way. So for that reason he'd try to be nice.

"Enjoying having her back?"

Callen looked at Renko for a moment debating in his mind how to answer. "She's not back entirely."

Renko raised his eyebrows, "So she doesn't know about you two yet?"

"Not yet, but don't get any ideas," Callen warned.

Renko smiled. "Ideas I can get. Getting her to agree to them - about as much chance as Kensi going on a second date."

Callen looked past Renko to see Tash walking toward them. He smiled and Renko turned around to look, then turned back to Callen.

"She hasn't changed has she? Still as beautiful and delicate as ever."

"More," was all Callen would say to that.

As Tash sat down Callen asked, "How'd you go?" She shook her head.

"Not much. Just one of those days I guess." Tash looked over to Renko as she spoke and frowned. "Do I know you?" she asked.

"We worked together for a bit," Renko answered.

"When?" He didn't seem at all familiar from any of her memories so far.

Renko looked at Callen, who nodded. "I was here when you started. The three of us were a team for a while."

She shook her head and closed her eyes briefly. "Oh. Sorry," Tash apologised. Nothing, he didn't seem familiar. She opened them again as he spoke.

"Not a problem," Renko shrugged. "I heard you were back and want to see for myself."

"See what?" Tash asked.

"If you were okay."

Tash shrugged. "I'm okay, just hate not remembering. Mind you, sometimes the memories are annoying. I'm not allowed to drive at the moment in case I remember something."

Renko grinned, "That's not a bad thing, unless you are in the back with Callen."

Callen threw a ball of paper at Renko's head, which he promptly caught and threw back.

"Children!" Tash exclaimed. Callen and Renko looked over at her. Callen saw the look in her eyes and waited.

"Tash, you okay?" Renko asked, concerned. He moved from the chair to step closer to her.

Callen reassured him. "She's fine. Just remembering something."

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

_She was close enough to hear the two of them, so she walked slowly, wondering what was up with them. She had noticed some tension these last few days between the two of them since Renko had come back. He had been away for the first couple of weeks that she had been here, so this team of three was still a relatively new thing._

"_I'm driving." Callen held out his hands for Renko's keys._

_Renko shook his head and reached for the driver's door. "My car." _

_"My team," Callen responded and stood in front of the door stopping Renko from opening it._

_"My team too." _

_"I'm the boss," Callen added._

_"Since when has that mattered?" _

_"It matters now," Callen said firmly._

_"Still my car and I have the keys." Renko held up the keys up to prove his point._

_"I like Tash, don't want you to chase her off with your driving." _

_"That's so sweet G, but how about this?" she said, as she arrived and swiftly swiped the keys from Renko's fingers. "I'll drive."_

_"Hey! My car," Renko protested. She looked at him and then back to Callen who hadn't said anything._

_"When you two behave like you are old enough to drive, I'll think about it. In the meantime, back seat both of you." She gently pushed Callen out of the way and opened the car door. She hopped in and looked back out to see the two of them still staring at her. "Quickly now children, or I'm leaving without you."_

_Renko got in the back quickly, but Callen took his time, walked around and sat in the front passenger's seat._

_She looked at Callen, sitting there next to her. "G, that's not the back."_

_Callen smiled. "I know."_

_She waited. She knew there was more._

_"You want me in the back, you join me," Callen finally said. Tash frowned at him, though she was trying not to smile._

_Renko groaned. "Okay, enough you two. Flirting on the job, not allowed when I'm around." _

_Tash shook her head and started the car, trying not to think about the possibilities behind what Callen and Renko had just suggested. He was her boss, that was it. Just because she found him attractive and liked him, nothing was going to happen._

_X_

_Renko was sitting on the bar stool, she was standing between his legs, his arms around her waist, hers around his neck._

_"So, you done this with him yet?" _

_"You know I have," she answered. Those two were so competitive, it was crazy._

_Renko grinned at her. "Don't worry, I promise this will be better." _

_"Enough Renko, do your job and find the target," Callen snapped through the ear piece._

_"Don't be jealous G, you know you were first." She grinned back at Renko._

_"But not best," Renko replied, as she turned around and leaned back against him, whilst she surveyed the room. She smiled and made her eyes flutter slightly as he kissed her neck and ran his fingers up her arms. She spotted the target and turned back into Renko's arms whispering in his ear. "Back right, corner table, six guys. Target is right in the middle. Not looking promising for getting to him, but hopefully Eric can at least get ID'__s on the rest__."_

_They heard Eric's response through the ear piece. "Not a problem, got the footage, shouldn't take long to get name__s.__"_

_"Get out of there then. We'll track him and find a better opportunity," Callen ordered._

_"Let's make it look real then Tash." Renko raised his eyebrows suggestively. She tried not to laugh at it. She had also noticed the bartender watching them, so she didn't really have a choice._

_"Just don't do that again otherwise I'll laugh." _

_"What?" Renko asked, confused._

_"The eyebrow thing. It looks funny," she replied._

_"Shut up and kiss me," Renko said and kissed her. She wound her arms around his neck, returning the kiss, but it was nothing like with Callen. She could still hear everything, still breathe and could still wish that it wasn't Renko she was doing this with. It wouldn't have been, if Callen hadn't already had dealings in this particular bar on a different mission recently. They didn't need one of the staff bringing attention to them. She pulled back and put on what she hoped was a sexy, satisfied smile as she noted the bartender still watching them. An unfair thought crossed her mind that maybe Renko had bribed the bartender to keep an eye on them. She shook her head slightly._

_"Let's get out of here." She moved away and took his hand to pull him off the stool. Renko slipped his arm around her shoulders and they walked out._

_"So, better than Callen?" _

_"Easier," she replied._

_Renko frowned, Callen laughed and she just smiled. He wasn't getting anymore out of her than that, neither of them would. _

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

Tash shook her head as the memory faded. She looked at Renko, who was standing near her.

"Guess I remember you after all." She turned to Callen and asked, "Would his driving really have chased me off?"

Callen chuckled, "Probably. Remember anything else?"

Callen noticed the blush on her cheeks, so did Renko.

Renko grinned at Callen. "Told you I kiss better than you."

Callen glared at him and Tash started to laugh. Apparently their competitiveness hadn't changed. Callen and Renko looked at her.

Tash stood up and walked over to Renko as she spoke, "I never said better. Just easier."

"Please tell me you didn't do that eyebrow thing again?" she asked him.

Renko narrowed his eyes at her a little, tried not to smile and shrugged. "It worked on other girls."

"Not on me." Tash smiled, "Thank you."

"For?" Renko asked.

"Stopping by, to check on me." Tash kissed him gently on the cheek and then turned back to Callen. "I'm going to lie down. My head hurts." Tash was starting to wonder if she should take something before she went into her sessions with Nate. The headaches seemed to be a normal side effect these days, even ones where she didn't remember much.

Callen glanced at Renko then back to Tash. "After remembering kissing him, can understand that."

"Yeah, well just wait until she remembers kissing you," Renko retorted.

"She doesn't need to remember, she already knows." Callen grinned, as he remembered the kiss from yesterday and watched Tash blush even more, before she turned and walked away.

Renko waited until Tash was out of earshot before he spoke. "How'd you manage that Callen? Thought you weren't supposed to push."

Callen gave a little shrug. "Didn't push. Just happened whilst we were working on a case."

"She's working already?" Renko's phone started ringing. "I'm sure you took advantage of the situation," he added.

"Maybe, but she enjoyed it," Callen's tone confident. They both had. Now if only Eric hadn't walked in.

"I'm sure you did too." Renko answered his phone, "Carter, what do you want?... Now?...On my way." Renko hung up and slipped his phone back in his pocket.

Callen felt relieved. "Go to go do you?"

"Work, some of us actually have some to do," Renko answered.

"Nice to see you again Renko. Thanks for stopping in."

Renko glanced in the direction Tash had disappeared and then looked back to Callen, his tone serious. "Look after her Callen."

"I will," Callen promised.

Renko nodded and left.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N - Thanks for the reviews, messages and Alerts and Favouriting of this story. I really appreciate knowing that you readers are enjoying the story. I really love getting reviews so it can help me make sure this story continues to be enjoyable. Okay, enough begging._

_I really had fun writing this chapter, hopefully you'll enjoy it too._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

**Chapter 10 **

It was late Friday night. They'd had a successful day solving the murder of the officer's de-facto wife. DNA found in the stomach matched up with a close friend who had been having an affair with her. Eric walked into the bullpen and asked them with a grin, "Anyone for poker?"

Kensi frowned. "Since when do you play something that doesn't involve a computer screen?"

Eric tossed a boxed pack of cards between his hands. "Since Tash came back."

Callen shook his head, "Eric, I don't think Tash remembers that yet."

Kensi looked between Callen and Eric, intrigued.

"Tash was my good-luck charm. When we paired up, I could almost double my paycheck in a couple of hours," Eric explained, after seeing Kensi's look.

"She that good?" Kensi asked.

"Too good." Sam grinned at Callen and continued. "G lost a whole lot more than money one night." Kensi raised her eyebrows about to ask for more details.

"Enough Sam," Callen warned, as he noticed Tash and Hetty coming over.

Eric turned around. "Hey Tash, you feel like playing some cards?"

"May I suggest Miss Farrow, should you say yes, that you keep it to a friendly game that does not involve any stakes," Hetty advised. She looked straight at Callen as she spoke.

Tash frowned, not understanding. "I don't remember how to play."

Callen tried not to smile. "Then perhaps I might stand a chance of beating you."

Tash looked from Callen to Eric as she asked, "What's the game?" Maybe if she knew something more than 'cards' it might help.

"Poker." Eric's eyes lit up at the possibility she might say yes.

"I'm in," said Kensi.

"Me too," Sam replied.

Tash looked at Callen. "I'm game," he added, watching her carefully.

X

_She smiled at him. "In or out G?" _

_"I'm game. In." Callen threw some more money in the middle of the table._

_"You do know you are about to lose right G?" asked Sam._

_Callen continued to focus on her whilst he responded to Sam. "Why do you say that?"_

_"Haven't you learnt that look yet? Didn't take me that long," Sam said._

_"She's bluffing." Callen's tone confident._

_"You sure about that?" she asked, keeping her expression neutral of anything that would give her hand away, though she was still smiling. "You don't really have much left to lose if you're wrong." _

_Sam and Eric chuckled. Before Callen could reply though, they were interrupted._

_"Miss Farrow, I think perhaps it is time for you to give Mr Callen a break. A few secrets between team members is a good thing," Hetty's voice came from the door way, making them all jump._

_"Thought you'd gone home Hetty," Callen said, still watching Tash._

_"I returned, hoping to save you from yourself Mr Callen." _

_Tash chuckled and pleaded with their boss, "Hetty can't we just finish this hand." _

_"No Miss Farrow, you can not," Hetty said firmly._

_She looked at Callen, "Saved by divine intervention G." With a smile she collected her winnings from the poker game they had been playing. She picked up her current hand, looked at it and shook her head with a sigh, before looking at Hetty and saying, "You're no fun." Hetty didn't reply._

_She stood up, grabbing her shirt off the floor, and moved over to Callen, her cards still in her hand. She put them against his bare chest and he caught her hand and held it against him. _

_"You really should know me better than that G. I wasn't bluffing." _

_"Maybe not, but you are distracting." Callen smiled at her and ran his eyes over her. She blushed slightly and then bent down to whisper in his ear._

_"Why do you think I always lose the first hand. Perhaps we should try this another time, when Hetty can't come to your rescue." Then she stood up and moved away, putting on her shirt as she went, trying very hard not to look back at her partner who had lost a lot more clothes than she had._

X

"Tash?" Sam noticed a strange look on Tash's face. "You okay?" he asked.

Tash shook her head slightly to shake off the images in her head. "Sorry, don't think I'm up for it tonight. But if you guys want to play, I'll just crash on the couch." She turned to go.

"Tash?" Callen called. Tash turned back but he noticed she didn't look him in the eye. "You want to go home?"

Tash shrugged. "When you're ready." She wasn't really sure if she was ready to be alone with him yet after that memory. Something about the look she had caught on his face told her that he knew what she had just remembered.

"Let's go then. Another night Eric." Eric looked disappointed. Callen stood up and grabbed his jacket and keys. Tash picked up hers and walked toward the door.

"What's up?" Callen asked in the car when she hadn't spoken.

"Tired I guess." He didn't believe her.

Back at the apartment, she got ready for bed and when she went out to get a drink, she saw him with a pack of cards in his hands. She blushed.

"So you remembered huh?" Callen wondered if it had been that particular memory that had caused her to not want to look at him earlier. Her blush when noticing the cards could only relate to one type of memory.

"Remembered what?" Tash asked, trying to sound like she didn't know what he was meaning. She wasn't very successful if the smile on his face was anything to go by.

"Want to play? See if you can still beat me?" Callen sat down on the couch and started to shuffle the cards,.

Tash shook her head.

Callen grinned. "Worried I'll win?"

"No," Tash replied.

Callen raised his eyebrows. "Worried you might?"

"Why would I have been playing strip poker with you, Sam and Eric?" Tash's words came out quickly and she blushed at the question, but she need answers so she could hopefully go to sleep. She held his gaze waiting for his answer.

"Perhaps we were drunk," Callen offered. They weren't drunk so that suggested...

"There was more than one time?" Tash wasn't entirely sure if the answer to this question would help her sleep after all.

"Not the four of us," Callen replied.

Tash tried not to think about the 'Not the four of us' comment and what he may have been meaning. "We weren't drunk, okay. That much I know."

Callen smiled and finally gave her some kind of decent answer. "I jokingly suggested we should up the stakes one night. Eric was slightly drunk and suggested the strip part. Sam and I agreed, not expecting you to. We were a little shocked to say the least." They expected her to disagree and come up with something else. They knew she was very good at poker, but it wasn't until that night that they realised just how good.

"I agreed?" Tash frowned. Why would she have agreed to that? Okay so she was obviously good, considering the way the game was ending, but still.

"You don't remember that part?"

Tash shook her head. "I only remember the last hand where Hetty came in."

Callen smiled. "Well, you missed most of the fun then."

"What happened?" Tash asked. Might as well know, she doubted she could get to sleep easily now.

"Play me for it." Callen held up the cards and looked at the spot beside him on the couch.

"I don't remember how."

"I can teach you," Callen offered.

"Why was I better than you?" Tash walked over slowly, still trying to decide whether to play or not.

"Aside from being distracting?" Callen watched her blush again before he continued. "Your uncle was extremely talented at poker, taught you everything you know."

"Did you know that at the time?"

"No," Callen admitted. Tash looked at him, curious. "You kept that particular piece of information to yourself." Callen continued.

Tash kept looking at him, still not sure about this.

"So, shall we?" Callen prompted her.

~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~

_"Shall we?" Callen's voice came from the doorway. She turned and looked at him. At least he was dressed, even if his shirt wasn't done up. He had a pack of cards in his hands._

_"Shall we what, G?" She reach for the blanket and sat down on the couch._

_"Finish the match? Everyone's gone. It's just us," Callen replied._

_"What? No witnesses? What's the fun in that?" She looked at him and hoped that her poker face was still on. The offer was very tempting. She hoped he didn't realise just how tempting._

_"Plenty." Callen held her gaze, causing her to swallow nervously._

_"Sorry G. Hetty said I wasn't allowed," she replied, taking off her shoes and getting settled on the couch._

_Callen walked over to the couch. "Planning on staying the night?" _

_"Yep, too tired to drive home," she answered, watching him carefully. He sat down on the other end and took off his shoes._

_"What are you doing G?" she asked._

_"Joining you/"_

_"Why? You don't seem too tired." She held onto her end of the blanket as he pulled some over to cover him as well. It wasn't the first time they'd shared the couch._

_"Don't have a home to go to." She rolled her eyes at his answer._

_"What happened to the last one?" Her tone sarcastic._

_"Heating doesn't work," Callen replied, "and it is almost winter."_

_She looked at him, considering whether to just go home or not. She was too tired._

_"Fine, but how about you go see if you can find another blanket." Might give her a chance to lay claim to enough of this one to keep warm._

_"Only one. You know that," Callen reminded her. Inwardly she groaned. She'd be fighting half the night just to keep warm. Better that than crashing the car._

_She settled down and closed her eyes. "Good night G." _

_"Night Tash."_

_She woke up to find herself wrapped in his arms, their legs tangled together and she was half lying on top of him, the blanket over them both and her head on his shoulder. Instead of being cold, she was warm. She couldn't remember how it happened. She closed her eyes again, wanting to enjoy it before she had to come back to reality. _

_"You know your breathing sounds different when you are asleep," his voice came from above her head._

_She lifted her head and looked up quickly at him, blushing at having been caught out._

_"Good morning," Callen said._

_"Morning," she replied quietly, wondering just how long he had been awake for._

_"You know this works a whole lot better than fighting for the blanket all night." Callen's voice was soft and gentle and did strange things to her stomach._

_"How did we end up like this?" she asked._

_"You don't remember?" _

_"No," she replied. She wondered what else had happened that she didn't remember and was very glad she hadn't been drinking last night._

_"My secret then," Callen replied. She sat up, at least she tried. He still had his arms around her. "Going somewhere?" he asked, not letting her get up._

_She looked up at him. We need to get up before someone comes in." _

_"Hetty's already been in. Can't you smell the coffee?" _

_She looked over at the table to see two cups of coffee, still steaming, on the table. She groaned and buried her head in his shoulder, which was when she realised that he was shirtless._

_"What is she going to think?" she mumbled softly._

_"Probably that we fell asleep here, or she might think you took advantage of me and we finished the poker match alone." _

_"What did you tell her?" she asked, looking back up._

_"Nothing." Callen grinned and added, "She just might have noticed my shirt on the floor, before she left." _

_She was confused. "But you had your shirt on when you went to sleep." _

_"I got hot." She blushed._

X

Tash sat down and looked at him. "So how did we end up like that on the couch?"

"Another memory?" Callen asked back, though he knew the answer. He had been able to tell for a while what the signs were that she was remembering something.

"Yeah. The couch after."

"It was a cold night. The blanket wasn't big enough. I picked you up and moved us around. We both slept better and stayed warm." Callen didn't admit that he hadn't slept a lot of that night. He was enjoying having her in his arms too much to sleep.

"Your shirt?" Tash asked.

"Sleep better without one." Tash narrowed her gaze, not quite believing him.

"Another time Tash. Not yet," Callen replied, knowing that look. He wasn't about to tell her that he wanted to feel her against him, that he'd given in to the temptation when he had changed their position on the couch. Though, he could just say that he had done it so that the body heat had helped to keep them warm on that cold night.

"So, you going to play me for the rest of the story?" Tash asked.

"No, I think we should both get some sleep." Callen put the cards down on the table and made a move to stand ups.

"Probably." Tash picked the cards back up. Callen stopped getting up as she said, "But I'm not so tired anymore. You still game?"

"For?"

"Teaching me."

"Any stakes?" Callen asked. This was probably pushing it, but he couldn't resist and wanted to know what she would say. Tash looked at him carefully for a moment.

"I think I'll trust Hetty's judgment this time." She shuffled and dealt the cards out. She didn't notice the look on Callen's face as she did it like a pro. He already knew he was in trouble and, though part of him was slightly disappointed, most of him was glad that they weren't playing for anything.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N - Thanks for the alerts and review._

_aussietrueblue - thanks for the request on more Kensi/Tash interaction. This chapter is a bit longer now because of it. Reviews do make a difference. Hope you enjoy._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1 & Reviews forever appreciated._

_On with the story..._

**Chapter 11**

Hetty walked into the bullpen with Nate close behind. "Miss Farrow, it is time for your session with Nate."

Inwardly Tash groaned. She wasn't in the mood for another session but she knew that it was one way to help. "Okay," she agreed, reluctantly. As she stood up, she was sure she heard a muted chuckle from Callen and glanced over at him. He looked innocent enough and she turned back to Nate and smiled slightly. They walked away together towards Nate's office and Hetty returned to her desk.

Once Hetty was out of earshot, Sam turned to Callen. "Twenty bucks says she's out of there in five minutes."

"Ten minutes and you're on," replied Callen, not quite sure she had remembered yet.

Kensi looked over from her desk and asked, "What are you two betting on this time?"

"How long before Tash gives Nate the slip," Sam replied, as they both looked over at Kensi, who was now frowning.

"Why would she?"

Sam chuckled before he replied. "She didn't really sound like she wanted to go and she's never been one for forced talking. Doesn't have a problem talking to Nate, just prefers to be the one who goes to him, rather than be dragged away."

"She had a talent for giving him the slip and him not even being aware of it," Callen added. A talent not many people shared.

Kensi, even more curious now. "How did she manage that?"

"Not entirely sure." Sam glanced over at Callen. "She only ever told G her tricks."

Kensi looked over at Callen, who smiled before he responded, "Not all of them, and she took a lot of convincing to get those out of her."

"Gonna share?" Kensi asked him. Callen just shook his head. Nate hadn't worked out how he did it yet and he didn't want to lose that advantage.

"Do you remember the time when she had slipped him in less than two minutes?" Sam asked.

"I remember."

X

_"How does she do that?" Sam looked over Callen's shoulder. Callen turned to see Nate talking to Hetty._

_Callen frowned, concerned. "Isn't he supposed to be with Tash for the next hour?"_

_"Yep, and she only just went with him a couple of minutes ago," Sam replied._

"_You take Nate, I'll take Tash." Callen got up and went in search of Tash. He saw her heading for the bathrooms._

_"Aren't you supposed to be with Nate?" he called out to her. She stopped and turned around._

_"Not ready to talk," Tash replied._

_"And he just let you walk away?" Callen really wouldn't mind knowing how she did that._

_Tash smiled. "I have my ways." _

_"Gonna tell me?" Callen asked. He doubted she would, but it couldn't hurt to ask. She might surprise him yet._

_"In your dreams G," Tash replied. He saw her smile again, that one full of mischief she had when she knew something he didn't._

_"Trust me Tash, when you're in my dreams, Nate doesn't factor in." It was nice to see her a little happy, after what she'd been through with this mission._

_Tash's eyes sparkled just a little. "Dream about me do you?" _

_Callen ignored her question and asked one of his own. "So why aren't you ready to talk?" He was close enough now to see how tired she was._

_Tash sounded tired too, as she replied. "I've been her for two weeks, G. I want to be me first. I need a shower and a change of clothes. I'll talk to Nate this afternoon. I promise." _

_"You better," Callen said. He'd stay outside Nate's door if he had to, to make sure she dealt with this today._

_Tash frowned. "Why?" _

_"It was a tough one, Tash. You need to get it out of your head before Hetty will let you start work again," Callen replied._

_"I know." Tash's voice was soft and sad. A part of him wished he had continued the dream conversation, just to keep her happy. He watched as she turned away from him, walked into the bathroom and closed the door, before he returned to his desk._

_"She okay?" asked Sam._

_"Yeah, she'll talk to him later. Nate tell you anything about how she slipped away?" he asked Sam. Sam shook his head._

_"Nope. You?" _

_"Nope."_

_"Think she'll ever tell us?" Sam asked._

_"I think it will take a lot of convincing," Callen replied._

X

As the time ticked away, Callen, Sam and Kensi did some paperwork. After ten minutes though, Callen and Sam started to concentrate less on their work and more on keeping an eye on the clock and the direction she would come from Nate's office. Callen finally saw Tash walking over to them and glanced at the clock again. "Thirty minutes."

Kensi looked up at Callen's works and asked, "So who wins?"

Callen noticed Tash had smile on her face as she arrived, one that, from experience, he was sure meant trouble.

"Remember anything?" Callen asked her.

"A bit." Tash continued to walk over to Sam's desk rather than the one she usually sat at.

"Like?" Sam queried. Tash didn't answer. She just looked down at Sam, smiled and held her hand.

Sam frowned, confused. "What?"

"Hand it over. I know you guys placed a bet." Tash glanced at Callen and then back to Sam. "And I _know_ neither of you won."

"What bet?" Callen asked, his voice full of innocence. Kensi did her best not to laugh.

Tash turned to look at him, eyes narrowed.

"I may not remember _how_ to give Nate the slip, but I do remember you two loved betting on how long. So, which of you took five, and which took ten?" Tash turned back to Sam. He reached into his pocket and handed over the twenty.

"Five," Sam admitted. He was pleased she'd remembered more, but to have to hand over the twenty, well at least Callen would too.

"Such confidence in me. You used to be a ten guy." Tash turned and walked over to Callen.

"Think I've lost my touch do you?" Tash asked him, as she held out her hand for the money Callen had in his. He pulled it away at her words and looked at her carefully.

"You cheated." Callen watched the expressions on her face and his eyes narrowed suspiciously at what he saw. "You remembered, and deliberately waited it out."

Tash lent over to reach for the money, one hand on the table to support her. She smiled as she looked at him. He was so close by then.

"I don't cheat, G. Perhaps I bend the rules a little, but I don't cheat." Her voice was soft and mischievous. He'd missed that voice.

Callen fought the urge to close the distance between them and kiss her. She was so close, still looking at him and she wasn't moving, even after she had taken the money out of his hand. He saw her swallow nervously and he started to move but she finally pulled herself away.

"So Kensi, feel like lunch out? Boys are paying." Tash turned and walked over to Kensi's desk to put some distance between her and Callen. She was relieved that she hadn't done something potentially stupid such as kiss him. She had wanted to try again, to see if it would be the same as the other day. But here, in front of everyone, probably wasn't the place.

"Sure." Kensi stood up and reached for her bag and keys asking, "Anywhere in particular?"

"I'll trust you." Tash reached for her things and turned slightly to Callen and Sam and smiled. "Thanks boys."

Callen looked at Sam, after the girls had left, and shook his head.

"Should we join them?" Sam asked.

Callen shook his head. "They can't get up to much."

Sam gave Callen a disbelieving look and he promptly changed his mind.

"Oh." Callen remembered that both Tash and Kensi could find trouble without looking for it on their own. The two of them together, so much potential for disaster.

"Any idea where they went?" Sam asked, as he stood up.

Callen's phone rang. "No, maybe Eric can tell us," Callen suggested and answered the phone as they started to walk toward the stairs. "Kenz, miss us already?"

"It's a girls lunch boys, don't even think of it." Callen heard Tash's voice on the other end of the phone, followed by the two girls laughing before she hung up.

Sam saw the look on Callen's face. "Tash?" Callen turned around and headed back to his desk and sat down.

"Yeah."

"Just what did she remember with Nate?" Sam asked, as he returned to his seat as well.

"No idea." But it was a good sign that the memories were continuing to come back. Now, if she could just remember them.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"You seem to be doing pretty well remembering things," Kensi said as she drove them away from the office.

Tash shrugged. "Bits and pieces. It's a little hard to place where they fit."

"Seems like you had a pretty good thing going with the team."

"Yeah," Tash replied, her voice soft and wondering. "Just not entirely sure what it was with them."

"With them, or with Callen in particular?" Kensi asked. Tash turned to look at her.

"That obvious huh?" Kensi smiled. She knew there was definitely something between Tash and Callen, but also knew that she couldn't say anything.

"You call him G, that was a big hint. Sam's the only one I've known, until you, who calls him that."

Tash gave a little chuckle. "Apparently I call him Callen when I'm mad."

"Well, he obviously hasn't made you mad since you've been back," Kensi replied. "Maybe that's why I don't call him G," she added with a teasing smile, as she pulled in to a favourite place of hers that wasn't too far from work.

Kensi looked over at Tash and asked, "You like burgers?"

"Who doesn't?" That at least, she knew. They got out of the car and walked inside.

"Want to eat in or take it back to the office?"

Tash thought for a moment about Kensi's question, then looked at Kensi and smiled.

"Depends. How much do the boys like burgers? I can't remember."

Kensi returned her smile. "Takeaway it is."

They walked up to the counter and placed their order.

"So how are you doing with all of this? Must be weird," Kensi asked Tash as they sat down at the counter.

Tash found herself letting out the frustration to Kensi. "Weird? I'd give anything for this just to be weird. It's frustrating, Kensi. To not know who I am." Tash shook her head slightly and continued. "Not having the memories, not knowing people. That's not so bad. At least I can get to know people again. I don't know how to get to know me." Tash gave a small smile to Kensi. "Sorry, didn't mean to dump all that on you."

Kensi shrugged. "I don't mind. We all have our problems. We're all here for each other."

Tash shook her head slightly and frowned. "But you barely know me."

"So? The guys do. Hetty does. I've seen the way they are with you. You are a part of this team Tash. You might not remember, but they do. So, you're a part of mine too," Kensi replied.

Tash felt tears prick the back of her eyes at Kensi's acceptance of her and smiled. "Thank you."

Kensi grinned. "So when you remember, can you tell me how to slip away from Nate?" Tash chuckled and shook her head.

"Maybe. We'll see. I think I might need to keep all my tricks up my sleeve for a little while yet."

Kensi smiled and shrugged. "It was worth a shot."

"Sophie?" a male voice interrupted them.

Tash turned to the voice and frowned.

He asked her again, "Sophie, is that you?"

Tash shook her head, but a sense of dread settled in her stomach. "No, sorry," she replied, as she looked at him.

"Sophie Jones," he repeated. "Darren. Boyfriend. You left one night, never saw you again. Where'd you go?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not who you think." Her heart started to race and that feeling in her stomach intensified.

Darren was about to say something when Kensi stepped in to stop him.

"Look, I'm sorry. But this isn't Sophie. Leave." Darren looked at both of them and, perhaps sensing the danger from Kensi if he pushed it, he moved away, but continued to watch them.

"Tash, you okay?" Kensi noticed Tash had gone pale. Tash shook her head.

Concerned, Kensi stood up, moving slightly closer to Tash, just in case she needed to catch her and looked for someone to hurry along their order. The waitress walked up to them at that moment and handed them their order.

"Let's go," Kensi directed, taking the bag of food in one hand and reaching out to steady Tash as she got off the seat with the other. Tash left first, Kensi staying behind in a protective way. Tash didn't look at Darren, but she could still feel him watching her.

They got in the car and pulled away.

"Tash, what is it?" Kensi asked, concerned by Tash's reaction. "Did you know him?"

"I don't know, maybe." Her voice was soft and Kensi could barely hear her, it was almost like she wasn't even in the car with her. What she could hear, though, was the distress in Tash's voice. She just didn't understand what it was from.

X

_"Come on Sophie, do you really have to go?" Darren asked._

_"It's work, you know what it's like." She had pulled away from the kiss after she heard her phone go off with its distinctive ring._

_"Yeah, I know. But it's late and it's Friday night. Surely they can do without you until morning." Darren pulled her back into his arms._

_She gave him a quick kiss and moved to pick up her phone as she said, "I have to. They wouldn't be calling if they didn't need me." _

_"Sophie Jones," she answered._

_"Time to leave. It's over." Callen's voice was harsh and she almost frowned._

_"On my way, boss." She was confused. His words were so unfamiliar. He usually made some conversation, just in case Darren overheard. She hung up and turned around._

_"Sorry, it's an emergency," she said as she picked up her jacket and put it on._

_"It always is." Darren stood up and walked her out to her car._

_She smiled up at him, "Thanks for dinner," she said._

_"Anytime," Darren replied and he lent down to kiss her goodbye._

X

"We're here," Kensi's voice pulled Tash back from her memory.

They went into the office and sat down with their food. Callen and Sam watched them, but Tash didn't look at them. Something seemed wrong and Callen's eyes narrowed, as his gaze focused on Tash. He stood up and walked over.

"You didn't bring us any?" Callen asked. It wasn't the food he was interested in, but more what was up with Tash. She'd been so happy when they'd left.

"Why would we?" Kensi asked, taking a bite of her burger.

"To be nice," Callen replied.

"Sorry," Kensi mumbled around the burger in her mouth.

"Here, have mine." Tash stood up. "Not hungry anymore," she added as she walked away

"What's that about?" Callen asked Kensi, as he watched Tash leave. Kensi swallowed her food.

"We ran into a guy who thought he knew Tash. Well, a Sophie Jones anyway. Tash didn't take it too well," Kensi replied.

Callen swore under his breath and went to find her.

"Tash," Callen said as he walked into the break room where she was sitting, her head resting in her hands.

Tash looked up at him. "Is this what we do? Hurt people? Make them think we like them and then disappear?" She had seen the hurt in Darren's eyes at the restaurant. Callen sat down next to her before replying.

"Not always. We do what we have to do to get the bad guys." He kept his voice soft, hoping it would help her calm down. He could tell something had distressed her by the tone in her voice and the look on her face. She hadn't really changed much.

"Even hurting the good guys?" Tash turned to face him more fully. Callen could see the shining of tears in her eyes. This was the reaction of Tash the woman. Tash the agent, knew the deal. She just didn't know that side of herself yet. He kept his voice gentle as he spoke.

"Might not like it but sometimes. It has to just be a job, Tash."

X

_"It was just a job, Tash. Not my problem if you couldn't keep your emotions out of it," Callen said to her._

_"What? So you never feel a little guilty using an innocent?" She frowned at him. Things had been so strange with him tonight._

_"We do what we have to do. We do the job, no emotion. So no, I don't feel guilty," Callen replied, standing with his arms crossed in front of his chest._

_"Well lucky you Callen. Not all of us can be emotionless machines." She tried to blink back tears that were threatening to fall. There was no way she would let him see her cry over this._

_"Maybe you shouldn't be out in the field then." Callen's tone reminiscent of the harshness he'd had when he called the job off earlier. His words cut and she reacted badly to them._

_"Go to hell Callen." She turned and walked away quickly._

_She was looking through Hetty's wardrobe when he found her again._

_"Tash." Callen's voice was gentle this time, which just made her more mad at him. She pulled some clothes off the rack, holding them up to her and turned to face him._

_"What do you think Callen? Hot enough? Think I might be able to find a few guys tonight willing to make out with me?"_

_Callen frowned. She shrugged._

_"No. Okay then." She turned back to the rack and pulled out a short black leather skirt and skimpy red top. "What about this?" she asked again, turning back to him._

_"What are you doing Tash?" Callen stepped closer. She walked away from him to the shoe rack and started looking through it._

_"Figure perhaps I should practice. Thought I'd head off to a nightclub and see what I can do. Hey, I can probably even get Hetty to cover the bar tab. After all, she is always happy for us to improve our skills right? Want to place a bet on how many guys I can get?" She picked up some knee high matching black leather boots and nodded._

_"That should do it." She turned and walked toward the changing rooms, passing close by him. "Thanks for the advice Callen," she added as she walked into one of the small cubicles._

_Before she could close the door, he was there, turning her around and pushing her against the wall. She saw the anger in his eyes and wondered what he had to be angry about._

_"You want to practice, you practice with me," Callen growled, before crushing her lips under his. There was a brief moment of shock, but then she kissed him with just as much passion as he was kissing her. When he finally pulled back she managed to say, "Guess I don't need any practice after all," trying to deny that she had felt anything._

_Callen smiled at her, but didn't reply. She knew she was in trouble though. He ran his hands slowly up her body and she couldn't help it when her eyelashes fluttered and closed, couldn't stop the soft moan that escaped her lips. She felt his lips rest on her neck, right where her pulse was pounding, and then he moved away, leaving her there, breathing hard._

_"Hope you lie better than that in the field," Callen said, just after he stepped out of the change room._

X

Tash looked at Callen, trying to make sense of her latest memory. "Why were you so angry?"

"When?" Callen asked, not quite sure what she had remembered.

"When I was going to go out and practice?" Tash watched his face, trying to read his reaction.

Callen remembered the time she meant. There had only a few times he had gotten angry with her, only once had it been about practicing.

"Didn't want you to get hurt," Callen replied, though he looked away as he said the words. He knew she'd pick up on that little tell that he was lying, even though what he had said was mostly true. She hadn't had great choice in men. But he'd also had a hard time with that mission, watching her get close with Darren. It hadn't helped that he knew what Darren was hoping for that night. They had a couple of cameras in his house and when he had come in with roses that didn't stay downstairs, Callen had a hard time letting her go in that night. Not that she would have done anything. He knew that Tash had one line that she wouldn't cross for the job. Sex was it. She trusted them to get her out before things got that far. Thankfully, Sam had called to say they had what they needed from other sources so he had been able to hold up his end of their unspoken deal. He hadn't meant to be so abrupt about it though, which had ended up with the two of them in an argument about emotions and using people. Seeing her get ready to go out to find other guys was the final straw.

"Hope you lie better than that in the field." Callen looked back to her at her words.

"Why?" Tash asked him again.

"You didn't have the greatest taste in guys. I really didn't want you getting hurt." This time he didn't look away and hoped that would be enough.

"But if it was just a job, why would it matter?"

"You weren't," slipped out before he could stop it. Callen stood up and walked away before he said too much.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N - Thanks for the alerts, favouriting and reviews. I do try and respond personally to everyone but sometimes that's not always possible depending on whether you can receive messages or not._

_To MRD - thanks for the review and the ideas. I'll look into it. I think I have a place in a few more chapters where I could do something like that. Wasn't sure if anyone would be interested in those kind of memories. Thanks for taking the time to review. It's really appreciated._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

**Chapter 12 **

Silently, Tash watched him go. She put her head back against the couch and closed her eyes. She wasn't sure what had just happened between them. She'd remembered so much today, but it still wasn't enough. Not enough to know who she was. It was like a bunch of pages from a book, but there were no page numbers. Tash stood up and walked out of the break room, looking for Hetty. She needed to get out, needed some air, but she wasn't sure if she would be allowed to do that alone.

"Miss Farrow, what can I do for you?" Hetty asked as she approached her desk.

"I need to … I need some space, to think," Tash said softly.

Hetty looked at Tash, concerned. "Is there anywhere in particular you were thinking?"

"No, not really. Maybe just a walk on the beach will do," Tash replied with the first place that came to mind. Hetty sensed that this had something to do with Callen, having seen him follow her to the break room and then leave shortly after, distracted.

"Sam can take you and pick you up when you are ready, but no more than an hour and you keep your phone on you at all times," Hetty directed, noting the strain in Tash's voice.

"Thanks Hetty."

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Callen walked out of the break room and headed to his desk. He didn't even hear when Hetty called out to him. He sat down and turned in his seat to face the wall. He wasn't quite sure what he had done in the break room with Tash. The words were out of his mouth before they had even registered in his brain. He'd been so careful. It was hard not to tell her things, not to say things to let her know what she meant to him. Guess one slip up wasn't too bad in the grand scheme of things. He'd just have to be more careful, that or talk to Nate. He didn't relish that idea at all. Callen turned as he heard soft footsteps come closer. Tash stopped just in front of him.

"Where's Sam?" she asked him softly.

"Gone out." Callen looked at her, trying to figure her out. Something had changed between them when he'd talked to her earlier; when he'd slipped up. He'd felt it and he could see it in her eyes now.

"Oh." Tash turned to go.

"Can I help?" Callen called her back. She turned back to him slowly. She looked nervous, like she wasn't sure of what she was going to say.

"I was just going to get him to take me to the beach." Tash finally looked at him. "Time to think. I need to get out."

Callen knew she needed something, and if this was it, if this was what she needed right now, he could help.

"I can take you." Tash shook her head slightly and he frowned.

"I … I don't know. I need some space to think, away from everyone. Hetty said Sam could drop me off and pick me up." She didn't know if she would say something either of them might regret if she went with him. She just wished she knew exactly what it had been between them.

"You don't want me to take you?" Callen tried not to feel hurt by it. She would have a good reason. Tash would never hurt any of them deliberately. But it still hurt, just a little, that she wanted to get away from him. Tash took a deep breath and let it out slowly and, somewhat, shakily.

"I... You confuse me okay. I don't know what it was between us. I keep seeing things but they don't make sense," Tash admitted, a touch of desperation to her voice..

Callen looked at her closely again. He could see the confusion and the frustration in her eyes. He could also see pain and he wasn't sure why. Right now, he really hated Nate's rules.

"I'll take you and pick you up, just as if I were Sam. I won't even talk," Callen offered again.

Tash looked at him for a moment and then nodded. "Thank you," she said. She reached for her handbag and checked her phone was in there. He reached for his keys and they walked out silently together.

Callen dropped her off and, as promised, he hadn't said anything on the trip. Just, "See you in an hour," once they had arrived.

Tash smiled hesitantly at him as she slipped off her shoes and left them with him in the car. As she walked toward the beach, she stopped and looked at the bench seat. It seemed familiar, so she sat down for a moment and closed her eyes. For once, the memory wasn't that hard to find. Maybe things were getting easier.

X

_Callen walked out of the office, ignoring her call. She turned and looked at Hetty._

_"What was that about?" _

_"You. He likes it when you talk to him. As much as he wants to deny it," Hetty replied, knowingly._

_"Great." She closed her eyes briefly, opening them again as she asked Hetty, "How long before you want him back?" _

_Hetty checked the time and looked back to her. "Two hours. Can you do it?"_

_"If I can find him, probably," she answered. Hetty nodded._

_"Then find him. Eric can help if you need it." _

_She nodded and left. She was pretty sure she wouldn't need Eric's help. She hadn't. He was on the bench seat by the beach. She usually found him here when they'd had a rough case. She sat down next to him and he looked at her, frowning. She smiled slightly._

_"If you hadn't wanted me to follow, you should have answered. You know how I like to get the last word in." _

_"One of the things about you that annoys me." She noticed him trying not to smile as he said that._

_"I know. Why do you think I do it so often?" she replied. "So, why did you walk away?"_

_"Wanted some air," Callen replied. _

_She looked at him and shook her head slightly. "You heard me talking to Hetty didn't you?"_

_"Maybe," Callen admitted. She took a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy. She could feel it._

_"G, it's been a rough couple of weeks. I needed to talk to someone and I know you don't … You don't need me crying on your shoulder about my family not being around," she said._

_His voice was soft as he responded, "You can if you want." _

_She smiled. She knew that._

_"I know," she said, just as softly. "It's just easier for you if I don't."_

_Callen turned to face her before he spoke. "I don't remember mine, Tash. You do. Share if you want." She shook her head._

_"You don't want me to share what's on my mind at the moment," her voice touched with sadness and pain that she knew he would hear. She turned away to look out at the waves, not wanting him to see the emotions she knew would be in her eyes._

_"We're partners, that's what we do. Share. Good and bad," Callen said. _

_Tash stood up. "Yeah well, right now it's all bad, so how about we go for a swim instead." _

_"After you tell me the bad," Callen said. She looked at him, shaking her head again. He saw it and continued. "Please Tash. You've only ever told me the good. I can handle it." _

_She saw the tenderness in those blue eyes, found herself wanting to give in. She looked out at the water again and he waited. She sat back down before she started speaking._

_"You know my parents died when I was eight and nine, right?" she asked. _

_"Yeah. You went and lived with your uncle after that," Callen replied._

_"You know how they died?" She hoped for a yes, so she didn't have to say it._

_"No. Hetty wouldn't let me see that on your file. Said it was up to you to share," Callen admitted. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly._

_"My father was working on a car in the garage. I was sitting on the bench watching and listening, whilst he told me about what he was doing. I adored him, wanted to be around him whenever he was home." She paused for a moment, preparing herself for what she had to say next. "I don't know what happened but, one moment he was talking and laughing with me, the next the car was on fire ... So was he." She stopped and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat before she finished. "My mother killed herself a year later. She never recovered."_

_"I'm sorry, Tash," Callen said gently. She blinked back the tears in her eyes and put on a, hopefully, bright smile._

_"Okay, so lets go for that swim," she said as she stood up and turned to him. "I've still got almost two hours before I have to have you back." She held out her hand to him._

_"What do you have planned?" Callen took her hand and she gave it a little tug to pull him up._

_"Start with getting you wet and see what happens after." She grinned this time at the look on his face and started to pull him closer to the water. He resisted and she turned back to him with a mock frown._

_"I don't have swimmers," Callen said._

_"Not my problem," she said innocently, as she pulled her shirt off, revealing that she did. She smiled again, at the look on his face._

_"Really G? Did you think you were going to get lucky?" She stepped out of her shorts. He didn't answer. "Oh dear. Actually letting me get the last word in. Whatever will I do to get the old G back?" _

_She threw her clothes and keys at him and pointed over his shoulder._

_"My car's there. There are swimmers in there for you." She turned and walked towards the water warning him, "Don't make me come back and get you."_

X

After the memory faded, Tash wiped away the tears that had fallen during it. Now she knew what had happened to her parents. She understood why Callen hadn't told her much. She stood up and moved down to the edge of the water, enjoying the feel of the cool water on her feet and the sound of the gentle waves. She tried not to think for a bit, just to clear her mind before she tried to get a handle on things. She felt the tension leave her body, slowly.

Tash found a quiet place to sit, away from the hustle and bustle of the normal beach crowd, whilst she watched the waves come in and out.

She was glad that she was remembering, but it was still too slow. She wanted to remember it all, get on with her life. Find out what it was between her and Callen. Find out whether it was still there or not. She thought it might be but she wasn't sure. Everything was just so confusing.

Callen had a reputation for being very good at being someone else. Maybe he was just pretending, trying to help her memories return. If she could read her file, that might help. It was unlikely that Hetty would let her do that. But maybe Nate. Maybe she could find her file in his office. She just didn't know how she would do it. But she needed to do something. She hoped breaking and entering was one of her unknown skills.

Tash focused back on the mesmerising sound of the water and just sat. She lost track of time.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

Callen watched as Tash walked away. He saw her sit down on the seat and wondered if she was remembering all the times they had sat in that exact spot. In his mind it was their spot. They used to come here so often. That's why he had brought her here. Hoping it would help her remember them.

Callen saw her stand up and her hand went briefly to her face. She moved down closer to the water and he got out of the car and went to sit on the seat so he could keep an eye on her. She walked for a while and he just sat, patiently waiting until she stopped. He saw her sit down, so he went back to the car, driving down the road and finding a place to park, closer to her. He wasn't going to leave her alone. All he could do right now was watch over her and hope that she would remember and be happy again.

When it was finally time to pick her up, Callen walked down to meet her. Tash jumped when he sat down beside her. He didn't look at her, just out at the water as he said quietly, "We should be getting back, unless you want Hetty to worry."

"How did you find me?" Tasha asked. She didn't know how far she had walked but it was obviously she'd been gone an hour.

"Eric traced your phone," Callen lied smoothly.

"Oh. No wonder Hetty told me to keep it on." Tash stood up, so did Callen. "Sorry, I lost track of time."

"Understandable," Callen responded, as he turned and started walking away from the water. Tash walked beside him quietly. Neither of them saying anything.

Tash waited until Nate left for the day. Callen and Sam were so involved discussing a case she was sure neither of them would notice when she slipped away. She checked on Hetty who was the phone, so she walked the long way around to Nate's office. Tash slipped in quietly and closed the door. She was sure he kept paper files, he'd been writing in one today when she had been in here. She walked over to his filing cabinet and tried to open it. It was locked. She really hadn't expected otherwise.

Tash went to Nate's desk, carefully checking the drawers for the keys, but she couldn't find them. She felt in her hair for the pin that was holding some of it back. Pulling it out she started to work the lock, instinctively. She had a feeling she'd done this in the past. Before she could finish though, a hand moved over hers and stopped it.

"The files are locked for a reason Tash," Callen's quiet voice came from behind her. She turned around and looked at him, eyes wide. How had he crept in like that?

"I just wanted mine, not anyone else's."

"I know," Callen said, pulling her away from the filing cabinet.

Her tone was desperate as she spoke, "It's too slow G. I've got more than thirty years I can't remember. At this rate I'll have to live until I'm 300 to remember everything. I want my life back."

Callen pulled her into his arms. "I want that too." More than anything.

Tash shook her head slightly against his shoulder, this time her voice filled with pain. "It hurts not knowing. Not knowing what I am missing out on, who I'm missing out on."

"I know, but this isn't the way, Tash," Callen whispered against her hair. Tash pushed him away with what strength she had and looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"Then what is the way? Find it and tell me," Tash demanded desperately, her voice breaking, before she fled.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N - After the previous review about Tash pre team, I decided to add a little bit to another chapter. Well, it turned into two chapters and 7000 words and required a little rearranging and editing of the rest of the story, but here we are. Just a little bit about her earlier history. Hope you enjoy and thanks for the review that prompted it. I've had lots of fun writing the story, the editing and pruning not as much, though I am learning to like it as it certainly is starting to make the stories better. As do reviews. Thanks for reading._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

_On we go..._

**Chapter 13 **

Tash walked into Nate's office the next morning, not entirely sure she was ready for this. She saw him sitting behind his desk and put on a bright smile. Nate might be trying to get into her head, but she wasn't going to let him see how much her heart was hurting right now. She figured if she concentrated on getting her memories back, then that side of things would, hopefully, sort itself out without the need for the psychologist to know about her meltdown with Callen yesterday.

Tash walked over to the couch and sat down. "Morning Nate." He looked up at her and smiled.

"Morning Tash." He stood up and came over to sit on the chair by the couch.

Nate chuckled as Tash pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and over her.

"Getting settled for a nap are you?" Tash shook her head and grinned.

"No, your room is freezing!"

Nate frowned at her grin. "Is it?" He didn't have the air conditioning on today. It wasn't hot.

"To me anyway. What interesting memory recall spells are you planning on trying out on me today?" Tash asked, directing him away from the blanket. She was feeling a little vulnerable today and the blanket was almost like a security thing. Maybe childish, but it made her feel more comfortable.

"Not sure yet," Nate answered, still not quite sure about the blanket. She was hard to read today.

Tash frowned. Nate usually knew exactly where one of these sessions would go. He'd been trying various things with her, to see what helped the most.

"Why?"

"Tell me about Tash. What do you know about you?" Nate asked.

Tash rolled her eyes. He had to ask the most difficult question. She shrugged.

"Not much. My childhood hasn't really come back. I seem to be remembering more about my time here than anywhere else. But it's just a bunch of memories or stories. It doesn't really seem to tell me much about who I am."

Nate smiled gently. "Maybe we should see what we can do about that then. Try to find out about your childhood. I'm going to try some hypnosis with you."

Tash raised her eyebrows. "Hypnosis?"

"Yes, if you are willing." Nate wasn't quite sure if she would be, but he'd already tried so many things, and this was just another tool.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Tash asked. It was Nate's turn to roll his eyes before he answered.

"Because whilst I've had some training, I haven't exactly had a lot of practice."

Tash giggled at that. "You don't exactly have the right clientele do you?"

"No." The idea of trying to get Callen, Sam or Kensi to let him use hypnosis on them was scary. He hadn't even wanted to think about what Hetty would say if he asked her to do it. They all had too many secrets that they didn't want to share.

"You willing?" Nate asked her. Tash nodded.

"Just as long as you don't tell anyone my deepest, darkest secrets," she teased.

"You don't have dark secrets Tash."

Tash frowned slightly, but quickly replaced it with a smile. "Guess we are about to find out. What do I have to do?"

Nate breathed a sigh of relief that she had agreed. He hoped this would work well for her. A few of the things he'd tried hadn't helped at all.

"Just relax, focus on my voice and let it happen," Nate instructed.

"I can still stay under the blanket?"

Nate smiled. "Yes Tash."

Tash settled back and closed her eyes. "If you put any suggestions in my head Nate, that shouldn't be there, you will be in trouble. Tall or not."

"Understood." Nate grinned now, though she couldn't see him. She was a lot of fun, always had been.

"Go for it then, Dr Getz."

X

"_Daddy, you're home!" she squealed as she flew into his arms and he lifted her up, spinning her around. She was so happy he was back. _

_"What are we going to do, Daddy?" she asked._

_"Do? Can I come inside first?" She giggled._

_"Yes."_

_"Can I say hello to Mummy?" he asked. She shook her head._

_"Why not?" _

_"You can kiss her instead," she giggled again and snuggled down in his arms, as they walked through the front door._

X

_Her father walked through the front door, carrying a box. _

_"Tash?" He frowned at her. "What are you still doing up?"_

_"Mummy said I could wait up for you," she replied._

_"That's not quite what I said," her mother admonished from behind her._

_Her father smiled. "That's my Tash, finding a way to interpret things to get your own way."_

_"Jonathon!" her mother exclaimed and she giggled._

_"What's in the box Daddy?" she asked, her eyes going wide when she heard a little yelp come from it._

_"Your birthday present, though you weren't supposed to get it until tomorrow," he said, as he put the box down on the floor._

_"Can I?" She looked up at him._

_"Yes Tash, you can open it now," her father said. She knelt down and carefully opened the lid. There was a gorgeous little brown puppy with white stripes._

_"Daddy! He's beautiful," she said as she picked up the puppy, who promptly licked her face evoking another giggle. "I'm going to call him Spot."_

_"Wouldn't Stripey be more appropriate?" her father asked._

_"Spot," she said, determinedly. Her father stood up and put his arms around her mother, as they both smiled at her and the boisterous puppy, who wriggled out of her arms, ran a circle around her before pouncing and sending her sprawling back on the floor._

X

_She opened her eyes as a wet tongue licked her cheek. "Spot!" she groaned and tried to sit up, but the puppy wouldn't let her. He kept barking and she heard her father call out to her._

_"Tash, are you all right?" She tried to sit up again, pushing Spot off her. As she did, her father came closer._

_"Don't sit up Tash, you're hurt," he said._

_She frowned and looked down, to see the blood on her leg. She felt faint and laid back down quickly._

_"Daddy," she cried softly._

X

_"Daddy!" she cried out and woke up. She got out of bed, took her teddy bear and walked out to the lounge room, Spot following faithfully behind her. There were four older men there. She searched and found the one she was needing. She could feel the tears dripping down her cheeks._

_"Tash darling." Uncle Mike stood up and walked over to her. He knelt down so he was at eye level. "What's wrong, Sweetheart? Bad dream?" He wiped her tears away gently._

_She nodded, clutching her teddy bear tight. He put his arms around her and held her for a moment, before he spoke again._

_"Want to learn to play poker?" he asked._

_She shook her head._

_"Want to sit on my lap, whilst I play?" he asked again._

_She nodded. He picked her up and moved to the table again, taking his seat._

_"Let's see how well my good luck charm goes then," Uncle Mike said as he picked up his cards. She looked at them and looked up at him._

_"Uncle Mike?" she asked._

_"Yes?" He looked down at her._

_"Is it good that they are all the one colour?" _

_The other three men around the table groaned in unison and put their cards down, bowing out of that hand._

_Uncle Mike grinned at them. "Looks like she's working well already."_

X

_"You know Uncle Mike, I just might be able to pay for college myself at this rate." She pulled the winnings from that hand closer to her._

_"Half of it will be mine, either way," Uncle Mike grumbled good naturedly, shaking his head._

_"Looks like the student is better than the teacher now," Don added, looking between the two of them._

_She smiled at the three older men looking at her. They'd aged a bit since that first poker lesson. They were like family to her._

_"What would you expect? I've had the finest teacher and three of the best tutors around," she responded as she started to deal the next hand. _

_"So have you decided where and what you going to study yet, Tash?" Brian asked her._

_"Law and Psychology at Stanford," she replied as she dealt the cards for the next hand._

_"What?" Uncle Mike asked, shocked. Steven laughed._

_She smiled. She hadn't thought she would get in, and she hadn't wanted to disappoint her uncle so she didn't tell him about that application. _

_"Law and Psychology," she repeated._

_"I heard, Tash. Now tell me why?" Uncle Mike asked, picking up his cards. "Thought you would have been looking to head straight to Vegas with this talent of yours, but now you tell me you want to get on the right side of the law?" he joked._

_She chuckled._

_"Well, you were the one who told me all the stories about Grandpa being a cop." She'd never met her Grandpa, but she knew him and what he did almost as well as she would of if she had, thanks to Uncle Mike._

_"True." Uncle Mike nodded in agreement. "That explains Law. What about getting inside people's heads?" He threw some money on the table as his turn came around and exchanged a couple of cards._

_"You," she said._

_"Me?" He frowned and looked up at her. She smiled gently at him._

_"Because I want to understand the most wonderful man in the world, who chose to take me in as his own when there was no one else there for me," she replied. That was part of it. She wanted to know what made people do what they did. Law dealt with the consequences of actions. In her mind, the two seemed to fit together well._

_"You're family, Tash. There was no choice to make. It just was." He smiled at her and she saw the tears form in his eyes, the fire reflected in them so clearly._

X

_The fire was so big, the explosion so loud and it was hot. She backed away and screamed. Then she saw him, lying far away from the burning car and the fire was on him too._

_NO!" she screamed._

X

Tash sat up screaming, "NO!" Her eyes were still closed and Nate, his heart hammering in his chest at the sound of her scream, moved forward to gently touch her arm.

"Tash, it's okay. You're safe," Nate tried to reassure her. His voice seemed to break through to her and she opened her eyes and looked at him. Nate saw the tears on her face and the distress in her eyes.

"My dad," Tash whispered. She looked at him, focusing on him so she didn't slip away to that memory again.

"I'm sorry," Nate replied gently. Guilt poured through him for having put her through this. He knew how painful that memory was to her. That hadn't been his intention, though he probably should have realised it was a high probability she would remember that.

Tash shook her head. "Not your fault Nate. There was more than just that, good ones too." Tash tried to reassure Nate as well, as she focused on the other memories.

"There really was an Uncle Mike," she told him. Nate nodded.

"Yes, there was," he agreed.

"But how come I wasn't with him?" Tash frowned as she tried to see if she had remembered more. Sometimes other memories slipped in unconsciously.

"We've been looking into that," Nate answered.

Tash looked at him and asked, "What do you know?"

Nate wasn't quite sure what he was going to tell her.

"Nate, where is he?" Tash asked when he didn't respond. Nate knew what he had to tell her. It wasn't a memory so he could. He just didn't want to, not on top of what she had just remembered, but he had no choice.

"Tash," he kept his voice gentle and she noticed. He saw her pale and her eyes go wide and he continued quickly, "He died six months ago."

Tash shook her head, "No." The tears well up in her eyes. "No."

"I'm sorry," Nate said. Tash blinked back the tears.

"Okay, so what do you know? Why wasn't I with him?" she asked again, trying not to think about everyone she had lost and would never see again.

"None of us had met your uncle. You preferred to keep him out of your work. To keep him safe. We think that he never knew about the shooting. Eric looked over past phone records and it seems like calls to your uncle were being intercepted. Only one call went through directly to his phone during the couple of days after your shooting. We weren't able to trace that call." Nate tried to sum it up as briefly as he could.

"Who?" she asked.

"We think it was Carl Trippin," Nate replied. He saw the look on her face, the determined look she used to get when a bad guy was getting away with something and she wasn't going to let it happen. He wondered what she was going to do.

"So he never knew? What did he think when I didn't call or come see him?"

Nate shook his head. "We don't know."

Tash sat up and ran her hands through her hair. "There were poker buddies. Maybe they might know something." She stood up. "I need to find them."

She started to walk away and then she stopped and turned to face him.

"Nate?"

"What?"

"I don't want to remember anymore about how my parents died Nate," she replied, her voice breaking slightly.

"I'll keep us away from your childhood then, if you want."

"Maybe that would be good." She walked to the door and turned back once more, this time with a slight smile on her face. Nate raised his eyebrows in question and the smile got slightly bigger.

"Do you think it makes me crazy that I named my striped dog Spot?" she asked.

Nate grinned. "No crazier than me naming my cat Rover."

"So that would be yes." Tash smiled back at him and walked out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N - Part 2 of Tash pre NCIS. Been over it so many times, I can't see straight so hope it's good._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

**Chapter 14**

Callen turned as Tash walked into the ops centre. All thoughts of what they had just been discussing temporarily fled his mind as he saw the look on her face. Tash had been in with Nate and he knew she had been crying. Everyone in the room could see it. He frowned and stepped towards her.

"I'm sorry," Tash apologised. "I didn't know you were all in here." Tash backed away to the door as she spoke.

"Tash," Callen said. She stopped and looked back at him. "You okay?"

She started to shake her head but stopped.

"Umm, just … I'm okay. But I need to find some people. I need Eric's help," she replied.

Callen came close to her side, not quite sure what to do. He saw the pain on her face and wondered just what she had remembered with Nate.

"Who do you need to find?" Eric asked. Tash turned and looked at Eric. It was hard. Callen was so close and she just wanted to fall apart in his arms, like the previous times, knowing she would be safe there. She shook her head slightly and focused on Eric and what she needed to ask him.

"Some friends of my uncle. I don't have much to go on." She had first names and that was about it.

Eric smiled at her confidently. "Lucky you've go me then." Tash smiled at that.

"All right then. Mr Callen, Mr Hanna, you know what you need to do. Let's give Miss Farrow and Mr Beale the room." Hetty's voice pulled Callen away from Tash and, reluctantly, he left the room with Sam. Kensi and Hetty followed close behind. Hetty stopped in the doorway.

"Mr Beale."

"Yes Hetty?" Eric turned to look at her.

"Whatever it takes," she said and left.

Eric turned back to Tash. "Give me what you've got and let me work my magic."

"Don, Brian and Steven. They were friends of my uncle's for a really long time, but I don't have any other names." Tash had no idea if Eric could do anything with that, but she crossed her fingers, both mentally and physically, that he could.

"How old were they?" Eric asked as his fingers danced across his keyboard.

"Looked about the same age as my uncle," she replied.

"Leave it with me, Tash." Eric looked over at her and smiled. "Go, get something to eat or drink and come back in half an hour." Eric winked. "Should have something by then." Tash raised her eyebrows at him. He sounded so confident. She remembered Hetty's comment as she walked out the door and wondered just what Eric was going to do.

"All right. Just don't do anything you'll get in trouble for," Tash said as she moved to the door.

"Me? Trouble?" Eric questioned. Tash chuckled.

"You go well together Eric, but I don't want it to be because of me," she replied.

"Never stopped you before," Eric retorted. Tash's hand went to the door frame and she held on tight.

X

"_Can you please stop getting me into trouble, Tash?" Eric asked, as they walked away after being reprimanded by Hetty._

_She rolled her eyes. "I don't get you into trouble. You do that all on your own."_

_Eric made a disgusted sound and she turned to look at him._

"_When did I get you in trouble?" she asked._

"_Once last week, twice the week before, at least four times last month, New Years and of course there was Halloween and..."_

"_Stop. What? Are you keeping a file or something? Halloween was entirely your fault. You were supposed to put the candle inside the pumpkin, not the pumpkin over the candle. The burn mark on Hetty's desk was not my doing, thank you very much!" she exclaimed._

"_What about last week?" Eric asked._

"_Last week?" She frowned._

"_Yes. You and Callen and ..." She quickly put a hand over his mouth to stop him. She felt the heat rise in her cheeks. _

"_You promised you wouldn't say a word about that."_

"_And I didn't. That would be why I got in trouble." She took her hand off his mouth. They walked into the ops centre and Eric sat down at his desk._

"_Okay, so I'll give you that one," she admitted. Eric started to open his mouth but she shot him a look that had it close quickly. "Has G paid you back for that yet?"_

_Eric shook his head and picked up his drink, taking a sip. _

"_I guess I'd better get on him about it then."_

_Eric almost choked on his drink at her words and looked at her as she laughed.  
_X

"Tash?" Eric's voice came from right beside her. She looked up at him.

"Sorry. Guess I did get you in trouble a little," Tash apologised. Though, what he had covered for, she had no idea. She smiled. "Did I really do it that much?"

Eric smiled. "It wasn't really that bad. The trouble was mostly fun, but the punishment." He shook his head as he continued, "not always so. Especially if Hetty was the one inflicting it."

"See you in half an hour," Tash said as she walked away.

_Half an hour later_

"What have your magic fingers been able to find?" Tash asked as she walked through the door. Eric turned to her, smiled, then turned back to his computer. After a few key strokes, Eric pointed to the screen.

"Abracadabra!"

Tash turned to the screen and her breath caught. There they were. All three of them.

"Eric? How?" She turned back to him, shocked.

Eric shook his head. "Not telling."

She turned back and moved closer to the screen. "That's them. Where are they?"

Eric cleared his throat. "Steven died four years ago. Don is in a nursing home, still in San Diego and Brian is still living in the same house, a couple of blocks from where you used to live with your uncle."

Tash turned and walked over to Eric, giving him a great big hug. "Thank you," she whispered. She hadn't really believed he would be able to do anything with such limited information.

"Something you aren't telling us Eric?" came Sam's voice from the doorway. Tash jumped back and turned to Sam. Callen was there, too.

"Nope. Just using my magic fingers for Tash," Eric said as he sat down. Callen raised his eyebrows at the comment and Eric actually blushed, as he realised how that could have sounded.

Sam chuckled and looked up at the screen. "Who are the old guys?"

Tash turned to the screen. "Old friends. They were my uncle's poker buddies. Probably more. I grew up with them."

"You remember them?" Callen asked her. She turned to him, her smile was slightly sad as she nodded.

"A little. I need to see them. I need to talk to them about Uncle Mike." Callen saw the tears in her eyes. That must be what she'd remembered this morning with Nate that had made her upset. He stepped over to her.

"I'm sorry about your uncle, Tash. I'm sorry we couldn't tell you," he said gently. Tash shook her head and smiled at him.

"Wasn't much point in telling me until I remembered was there?"

Callen smiled back and shook his head. "Do you know where they are?" he asked. Tash nodded.

"San Diego. Brian is still where he used to be. Near where I used to be." Tash looked at him and he saw what she was wanting to ask.

"You want me to come with you?" Callen asked as he reached out and wiped away a tear. He was pleased she didn't pull away.

"Please," was her response. Callen nodded.

"I'll check with Hetty and see when we can go." He turned and started to walk away.

"G," Tash called out to him. Callen turned back. "Thank you." He smiled and left to find Hetty.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Hetty was able to give them the next day off. They left early in the morning, Tash falling asleep in the car on the way. It gave Callen time to think as he drove.

He wasn't sure what she would learn today, but he was glad that she wanted him with her. He didn't know what he would have been doing if she had wanted someone else. He was starting to worry about how fragile she was looking. He'd hoped that as she remembered more, she would be happier; more the old Tash. She was sometimes, but recently, she was sad and hurting more often than anything else. Maybe too many memories had been about loss lately. Nate told him she had remembered a small amount about her parents death yesterday, and that she didn't want to remember any more. He hoped that today, visiting these two men from her past, wouldn't bring that back.

He also wondered if she remembered what they were to each other but, although he had been tempted to ask her, he hadn't. She had seemed so exhausted last night, she'd barely eaten and went to bed early. She'd been through so much with the memories from the last couple of days. According to Nate, she was doing well. Whilst that might be the case with the memories returning, in general he disagreed. Nate didn't see her at night, or most of the day. He didn't see behind the mask Tash put on when everyone else was around. They all seemed to think she was coping quite well. Maybe not Hetty, but the rest. It looked like even if she didn't actually remember how to hide her feelings, she did know. He was just lucky that he was one of the few who could see the truth.

The biggest thing he could take from all of this at the moment, was that she seemed to trust him, seemed like she knew she was safe around him. He knew that no one else had seen her lose it like she had the other day. He needed to figure out what she needed, because at the moment, what they were doing really wasn't working.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Callen stopped at a coffee shop, not too far from where Brian lived and woke her up.

"Tash, we're almost there. Thought you might be hungry."

Tash looked at him and shrugged. She straightened up in her seat and looked around.

"Not sure. I think I'm nervous," she admitted.

Callen frowned. "Why?"

"What …" Tash closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. "What must they think? I didn't contact him for so long, didn't come to his funeral. They-" Callen cut her off before she could get too distressed.

"We don't know Tash. But we'll find out and we'll make sure they understand, as best we can." Callen knew they wouldn't be able to tell them everything, but he'd make sure that these two men from her life, who she obviously cared about, knew enough that they didn't think any less of Tash.

Tash looked back to him. "Can we just go? I really don't think I want to eat anything right now." She was absently fiddling with the hem of her shirt. He smiled slightly. Waiting always used to make her impatient.

"All right." Callen turned back in his seat and started the car again. As he pulled out of the car park, he glanced at her. She was still watching him. He smiled and she smiled back.

"Thank you, G. For coming with me."

"Anytime," he replied.

Callen pulled up at the address and watched as Tash looked at it. It was a two-storey, well maintained, white house. Nothing flash, but it was very welcoming. She turned to him, a frown on her face. "I don't remember the house."

"Let's go see if you remember the man." Callen got out of the car and walked around to her. He took her hand and, letting her set the pace, they walked to the front door. Tash closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She glanced over at him and he squeezed her hand to reassure her he was there.

Tash knocked.

The door opened and Brian was standing there. He looked at Callen first and then to Tash, recognition dawning quickly in his eyes. He smiled.

"Tash darling!" Brian stepped forward and hugged her. Tash responded and felt the tears in her eyes as she recognised this. She might not know him, but she knew the safety of being in these arms. Brian pulled back and looked at her.

"Tash?" he asked.

Tash tried to speak but she didn't know what to say. She glanced at Callen, silently begging him for help.

"Brian, I'm Callen, a friend of Tash's. Can we come in? We need to speak to you," Callen said.

Brian stepped back from Tash into the doorway and looked from Callen to Tash, a questioning looking on his face. Tash smiled and nodded.

"Please Brian, I need your help," Tash said softly.

"Come in then." Brian stepped back and ushered them through.

Callen and Tash followed him through to the sitting room. Tash looked around and a photo caught her eye. She moved over to it to take a closer look as Brian asked, "What can I do?"

Tash didn't answer, too lost in the photo she was holding, so Callen stepped in.

"What do you know about Tash's work?" he asked.

Brian shook his head. "Not much anymore. About four years ago she changed jobs and all she would tell us was that she was still catching bad guys, but she couldn't talk about it anymore."

Callen nodded. That would have been when Tash joined OSP. "Just over two years ago, someone tried to have Tash killed. She survived, but, she didn't remember who she was." Brian took in a shocked breath and looked at Tash, who had now turned around to face them.

"I didn't remember you until yesterday ... I didn't remember Uncle Mike until yesterday," Tash admitted.

"Two years ago?" Brian asked as he looked between Tash and Callen.

Tash nodded. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Brian frowned, "Sorry for what, Tash?" He moved over to Tash as she spoke.

"What did you think of me? What did he think of me for not visiting, not calling. Not coming to the funeral?" By the time she finished, she could barely see through the tears in her eyes and Brian put his hands gently on her shoulder.

"Oh my dear Tash, please don't think that." Tash looked up at him and frowned. "Someone phoned Mike, told him you were working on something big. But it would mean you wouldn't be able to be in contact with him for while, maybe even a year or two. He left us a number in case of an absolute emergency and when Mike died, we called it. He said they would get you the message as soon as it was safe, but to not expect you to be back soon."

"What was his name?" Callen asked.

Brian turned to look at him, though his hands still stayed reassuringly on Tash's shoulders. "Max Johnson. Said he was her handler."

Callen shook his head. "He wasn't."

Brian frowned and turned back to Tash.

"What happened?" he asked her.

"I don't really know. I was with someone I thought was Uncle Mike. At least that is what he told me. I didn't remember anything for so long. Only the last couple of weeks really," Tash answered.

Brian cupped her face. "Tash, Mike loved you so much. He was so proud of you, of what you were doing. Don't doubt that, ever."

X

_She walked across the stage to accept her degree. She took it in one hand as she shook the professor's hand and then turned to face the crowd. She saw him, standing there clapping so hard and smiling so big. She smiled back and also noted the tears on his face. She knew he was proud of her. As were the other three men standing there next to him, though they weren't as enthusiastic as Uncle Mike. No one could be. A lump formed in her throat and she left the stage._

X

Tash looked up at Brian. "I won't," she whispered. Tash turned away and picked up the photo again. "Who is this?"

"Tash," Callen warned. He knew that tone, knew she was asking things she shouldn't be. She looked at him and shook her head.

"Please G, don't be like Nate," she begged him.

Brian turned to him and frowned.

"Our psychologist would prefer she remembered on her own. We are allowed to prompt her but nothing else," Callen explained.

"I don't work for you though. Different rules," Brian said. Callen smiled. Smart man. He glanced at Tash and gave in with a nod. It wasn't like he could order Brian not to say anything. Plus, the look in Tash's eyes when Callen had agreed just now, would be worth the reprimand from Nate. _Yeah, but what about Hetty?_ a little voice inside his head whispered. He shook it off and listened as Brian spoke to Tash about the photo.

"It was your prom. That's David. He's my youngest son. The two of you were dating."

Tash looked up from the photo, "For how long?"

"Three years," Brian answered.

X

_She was lying on the couch, her back against him, his arms gently around her. She knew what was going to happen, she felt it and she was sure he felt it too._

"_This isn't working is it, Tash?" David asked before she had a chance._

_She shook her head against him. "Not really."_

"_Tash." She turned to face him at the serious tone in his voice. "You know I love you, but..."_

"_I know. The distance is too much. We're a whole country apart," she finished. She was at Stanford, he was at Columbia. They'd tried but it wasn't working. Neither of them had much time to visit with their heavy workloads and, although the time difference wasn't that big, timing phone calls had been difficult._

"_I haven't cheated on you Tash, I swear. I just … I miss being with someone. Going out together rather than on my own. I know this sounds selfish." She shook her head._

"_It doesn't. We're still just kids really. We care about each other, but are we really ready to say that this is the real and final thing?" she asked him._

"_No," David answered softly. She could see that he wished he could have given a different answer. So did she._

"_Same here," she agreed._

_David reached out and stroked her cheek. "So what do we do?"_

"_Put the boyfriend/girlfriend side on hold until we finish Uni. Then see if it's still there," she suggested._

"_Keep the best friend thing going though, right?" David queried with that cheeky smile she loved._

"_Of course. I love David. You are my best friend." She moved back into his arms and he held her._

"_What do you say to dinner and a movie as best friends?" David asked her._

"_As long as I get to choose the movie," she answered with a chuckle._

"_Don't trust me?"_

_She poked her tongue out at him as she stood up. "Don't want to see 'Joe vs the Volcano'."_

"_So I have to sit through 'Pretty Woman' instead?"_

"_Yep." She smiled at him as he shrugged._

"_Could be worth it to see you eating sushi." Her eyes went wide. He grinned._

"_Italian it is," David said as he slipped his arm around her shoulder and they walked out._

X

Tash looked back at Brian once the memory faded. She smiled gently.

"Distance didn't work," she said. Brian smiled at her and shook his head in agreement.

As Tash glanced over at Callen, he pulled his expression into what he hoped was neutral and reassuring. The surge of jealousy at her being with someone else was so unexpected. It wasn't like he didn't know she'd been with others. Though if he thought back, he'd been jealous every time she'd had a date. But this was different. She'd been with this guy for a long time. What if... He stopped the thoughts there.

Tash frowned at the look on Callen's face that he had tried to hide. Was he jealous? She shook her head slightly. He couldn't be. Tash put the photo back on the shelf and moved to sit down. Callen came and sat close beside her. Brian took a seat across from them.

Tash took a deep breath before she asked her next question, looking at her hands as she spoke.

"How did he die?" Her voice was soft and filled with pain. She wasn't quite sure why since she didn't really remember her uncle. Callen moved slightly closer, so his arms was touching hers, hoping it would comfort her just a little.

"It was quick Tash. A heart attack. He didn't suffer or anything like that," Brian reassured her. "He left you everything." Tash looked up from her hands to Brian, her eyes wide with shock.

Brian smiled. "He knew you would come back. At least he hoped. If you didn't come back, everything was to go charity in ten years. The house is rented out at the moment. Everything is in storage. When you're ready, I'll take care of transferring everything to you." Brian stood up and walked over to the bookcase. He pulled out a book and took a letter from it then turned around.

"He left this letter for you. I don't know if you are ready to read it yet. But here it is." Brian walked over to her as he spoke and held out the letter to her. Tash just starred at it. She shook her head. "I can't," she whispered.

Brian stepped back and turned to Callen. He held out the letter to him, "For when she is ready." Callen frowned. Brian smiled at him. "She trusts you. So I trust you. When she's ready, give it to her," Brian continued.

Callen took the letter and wondered what Brian had seen to make him believe that.

"What about Don?" Tash finally asked.

Brian sat back down. "He is sick Tash, very sick. But he still remembers you." Brian looked her over carefully before continuing. "I'm not sure you are ready to see him though." Tash looked up and frowned.

"Why not?" she asked.

"You look like you're going through hell right now, Sweetheart. Seeing him will be very hard. There is time. You don't have to see him today."

He was right, Tash knew it. She really didn't think she was up to much more today. But there was one thing she needed to know, needed to do. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.

"Where is he buried?" she finally asked.

Brian smiled gently at her. "County Cemetery. Plot 455."

Tash stood up and stepped over to Brian. She put her arms around him, kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "Thank you. I will be back. I promise." She pulled back and Brian smiled at her.

"I know. I always knew you would be."

Tash turned to Callen and he stood. He knew what she wanted to do now.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Tash stopped as they got near the plot, not sure if she could do this. Callen turned her gently to face him and, seeing the distress and pain on her face, pulled her into his arms.

"You don't have to do this now Tash."

"I want to, I just don't know if I can," she answered.

Callen kissed the top of her head and held her quietly, giving her time to get herself ready. When she didn't let go after a few minutes, he tilted her head up to look at him. "You don't have to do this alone, I'm right here," he reassured her. Tash smiled and nodded as she pulled back. She took his hand, took a deep breath and nodded.

"On we go?" They turned and walked to the grave of her uncle together.

Tash looked down at it and felt the tears fall. The grave stone read 'Mike Lester, Ever loving Uncle to Tash. Died 5-03-2009'

Tash almost giggled as she read the date. Callen looked at her, she seemed a little happy and he wondered what had caused it. It was so unexpected. Tash looked up at him and explained.

"I remember Uncle Mike never liked admitting his age, especially when I came to live with him. He didn't want anyone to think he was too old to be looking after me."

Callen looked back down at the grave stone and, after reading it again, understood. There was no date of birth.

Tash turned back to the grave stone and let go of Callen's hand. He watched as she moved forward and knelt down, her fingers gently traced the words inscribed.

X

"_Tash, what are you doing calling me? Aren't you supposed to be on your way to class?" Uncle Mike asked. Tash smiled._

"_You know my schedule huh?" _

"_Of course. What's up, Sweetheart?" he asked again._

_Unless it was from behind a hand of cards, she never could get anything past him. _

"_I'm just missing you a little," she admitted._

"_Miss you too, though not on Poker nights," Uncle Mike chucked._

"_Starting to make your money back now?" she asked him._

"_Enough that I can start thinking about a holiday," he replied._

_Her alarm went off and the smile on her face fell. She had to go._

"_I have to go Uncle Mike. Thanks for the chat."_

"_Anytime. As long as you aren't in class," he said. It made her smile again_.

X

_She walked down the corridor to her dorm room and looked up. She stopped in her tracks. There he was. She smiled and ran the rest of the way._

"_Uncle Mike!" she whispered as she flung her arms around him._

"_Hey kiddo," he said, his arms going around her as he steadied them both._

"_What are you doing here?" she asked when she pulled back._

"_You missed me. Came for a visit," he replied._

_She looked at her watch and frowned. "What did you do? Hijack a jet? I spoke to you less than four hours ago."_

_He shrugged. "Got to do what you got to do. So, you going to show me what you've done to your room or are we going to stand out in the corridor all afternoon?" She smiled, took his hand and they walked through her door._

X

Tash turned and looked up at Callen. He came and knelt down next to her.

"What did you remember?" he asked. She swallowed to try and get rid of the lump in her throat that seemed like it was there way too often at the moment.

"He made the trip from San Diego to Stanford in under four hours, just because I said I missed him," she replied.

Callen reached over and brushed the hair off her face. "He cared about you a lot," he said. Tash frowned. "How do you know that?"

"You told me," Callen answered. They stood up together.

The tears fell down her cheeks as she whispered, "Why does it hurt so bad when I don't remember much?"

Callen pulled her into his arms. "Maybe because it's not your mind remembering, but your heart. Uou loved him very much."

Tash cried as he held her. Callen hated that he couldn't do anything to make the pain go away. He hated that these emotions seemed normal for her lately, even though the memories weren't always painful. There had to be more they could do. There had to be.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Nate was surprised as Callen stepped into his office and closed the door the next morning. Callen rarely visited his office voluntarily.

"Callen, what can I do for you?"

"It's Tash. We have to be able to do more Nate. She's hurting," Callen said. Of course, this would be about Tash. Nate shouldn't be surprised about that.

"I know it's frustrating for her," Nate replied. Callen shook his head at Nate's words.

"Not frustrating Nate. It's hurting her. Can't you see it?" Callen repeated. "She needs to know, she needs it to happen faster. Before she falls apart." The last few days had been too much. Callen could see it in her eyes. The tiredness, the pain that was so frequent. She was getting more frustrated too, and he didn't want to see her lose it anymore than she already had with him.

Nate looked at Callen carefully. "Who needs this Callen, you or Tash?" At the look on Callen's face, Nate added, "Never mind. Fine. Push her more, but only work. Let the personal side come in it's own time. The more she remembers work, the more likely the personal will come, as it's connected anyway." Nate was reluctant to give Callen the green light to push Tash at a personal level after the session he had with her where she had remembered her father's death.

"Fine." Callen turned and walked out, a smile on his face as a plan formed in his mind.

He walked back to the bullpen and asked Sam, "Where's Tash?"

"Behind you," Tash answered before Sam did. Callen turned and looked at her.

"Time for you to learn how to earn your keep. Do you remember how to use your gun?"

Tash looked at Callen and swallowed nervously.

"Assume I don't." She knew that she did from her memories, but she couldn't remember the process or details.

"Let's go." Callen turned and walked away, expecting her to follow. She did.

"Where?" Tash asked. Things had been so different between them since he'd found her in Nate's office. Yesterday had been hard and she'd broken down again with him at the cemetery. She was losing it too often around him and she didn't want to keep it up. She just didn't know how to stop it when he was the only one she felt safe enough to let her guard down.

"Practice Room." Callen turned to look at her whilst they walked. "You don't think I'm going to let you out on the streets to practice do you?"

Tash didn't reply, just walked beside him quietly.

"You can't hurt anything, Tash. I'm just going to show you what to do, and if you want to try, you can," Callen reassured her.

"Okay," Tash agreed quietly. Callen opened the door to the practice room and she followed him in.

Callen turned to her and held out a gun. Tash looked at him. "Are you sure you want to do this? What if I'm a bad shot?"

Callen smiled at her confidently. "You're not."

Tash tentatively took the gun and Callen showed her how to hold it; how to take the safety off; how to aim. Just the basics this time. He stepped away and set up the target before he turned back to her. "Go for it. See what you can do."

Tash shook her head and handed the gun back to him.

"Show me first."

Callen took the gun back and fired off some shots. He handed it back and brought the target up so she could see it.

Tash looked at the accuracy of his shots and then at him. "Hope you aren't expecting me to beat that."

"Not today, but sometimes you do," Callen replied.

Tash raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

"Really." Callen smiled at her and set up a new target.

"Okay, let see what I can do." Tash took a deep breath, stepped up and took aim. She fired a couple of shots, not very good ones. She stopped and took another deep breath. Callen stepped up close to her, very close, and she felt his breath on her ear as he spoke softly.

"I'll let you drive for a week if you can hit the right eye."

X

_"I'll let you drive for a week if you can hit the right eye," Callen said softly, his breath leaving a trail down her neck. "Help you with your paperwork, left eye. The heart, I'll take you dancing," he finished._

_She turned to look at him standing so close to her._

_"Dancing, paperwork or driving? Those my only choices?" _

_Callen caught her gaze and she didn't think she would have been able to look away, even if she'd wanted to. Her breath caught slightly at his answer. "This time." _

_She managed to turn away and face the target. "Stay away from my ear G. That would be cheating." _

_"Just bending the rules, I don't cheat," Callen whispered, still by her ear, as she fired off her shots. She turned and looked at him with a triumphant smile._

_"This should make for an interesting week." She put the safety on the gun and brought the target up close for him to inspect. Callen smiled as he looked from the target, with three very accurate shots, back to her."I didn't agree to all of them." _

_She raised her eyebrows and grinned._

_"You didn't say that. Just if I hit them you would." She put the gun down and walked away. "Dancing Saturday, G. Just so I don't have to work in the morning." She was sure she heard him chuckle as she closed the door behind her._

X

Tash aimed and pulled the trigger before he said any more. She only pulled it once and handed the gun back to him.

"Saturday." Tash walked out the door before he could respond.

Callen pulled the target up to check it. He smiled as he saw where she had hit. The heart. Dancing it is. She had remembered.

Tash walked to Hetty's desk. What had she done? Given how nervous she was being around him she couldn't believe her actions just now. She knew exactly what she had done and her heart raced at the thought. She was going dancing with Callen. Well, that was if he agreed to it. He hadn't actually said anything, she'd just remembered what he'd said once before. At that moment when she had remembered, she felt a desperation come over her to know what it had between them. Perhaps it was because she needed to remember something that could be good. She wanted something good, something fun. At least she hoped it would be.

Hetty looked up from her paperwork to see a rather flustered Tash standing at her desk. "Yes Miss Farrow?"

"I need a dress," Tash said, nervously.

"For?" Hetty raised her eyebrows at the question.

"Dancing," Tash responded whilst she silently begged Hetty not to ask the next question.

"With?" That one. Tash was about to answer when she heard his voice.

"Me," Callen said from behind them. Tash turned around and blushed. She wasn't quite sure why and it made her wonder what had actually happened when they had gone dancing. She wanted to turn away but she couldn't pull her eyes from his gaze.

"Any particular kind?" Hetty asked Callen.

"Whatever the lady wants." Callen didn't take his eyes of Tash as he answered Hetty's question. Then he turned and walked away, leaving them to it.

Tash finally turned around to look at Hetty.

"I have no idea," Tash added, with a slight shake of her head.

"Never mind my dear, I'll find something appropriate. When for?" Hetty tried not to show her pleasure at this turn of events. If Callen was taking Tash dancing, something must have happened.

"Saturday," Tasha admitted.

Hetty nodded and smiled at Tash. "I'll arrange it."

"Thanks." Tash turned and walked away, with no idea how she was going to face Callen later.

Later that day, Tash was listening to the conversation around her as the team discussed the latest case and Kensi's and Callen's respective theories on who the murderer was. Tash felt her eyes drift closed, so she stood up to go and get some coffee.

"Come on Kensi. Trust me, it was the wife," Callen said.

Tash reached for the table as she felt the world start to fade a little, just one of the signs that she was learning had to do with a memory coming back.

X

_"Tash trust me, it was Sargent Bates," Callen said, leaning against his desk._

_"You have no proof." She sat back on hers after a quick glance around to see if Hetty was nearby._

_"Not yet, but I know it was him," Callen replied. "Call it a gut feeling."_

_She shook her head. "Not Bates, but Caldwell." So far that was where the evidence, even if it was slim, was pointing._

_"Care to make a bet?" Callen asked._

_"That won't be necessary," Hetty said from behind them._

_Callen turned around, surprised. She quickly jumped down off the desk. Seriously, for an undercover operative she had lousy skills when it came to knowing where Hetty was. The only thing that gave her comfort was that everyone else had trouble too._

_Hetty nodded to Callen. "Mr Callen is correct. It was Sargent Bates." _

_"How do you know Hetty?" she asked._

_"Lab results have just arrived. You have your proof Mr Callen. Go get him," Hetty replied and walked away, after glancing at her in a gentle silent reprimand for sitting on the desk._

_Callen turned and grabbed his jacket and keys. She did the same._

_He smiled at her. "See Tash, told you to trust me."_

X

_"Trust me," Callen said, as the car they were following sped up well past the speed limit._

_"Do I have a choice?" she asked, as she reached to hold on, feeling the car speed up as Callen put his foot down._

X

_He moved his head close to her ear and whispered, "You'll be fine Tash, trust me." Then he moved back to her lips and kissed her. _

X

_"Trust me, Miss Farrow. If you were not worthy of being here, I would not have picked you," Hetty said._

X

_"Trust us Tash, we've got your back." Sam reassured her through her ear piece. She took a deep breath before putting her hand on the door. This assignment was so pushing the boundaries of what she felt comfortable with._

_"You better," she whispered, hearing the chuckle of her two team mates at her words._

X

_"Trust me Tash," Callen said, looking her in the eyes and smiling._

X

There were more, so many more. The same words, the same reassuring look, just different places, different jobs. The memories just kept coming. Tash heard someone call her name, felt someone's arms hold her, but they just kept coming, like a flood. Sometimes the full memories, sometimes just the words. How many times had he said that to her?

X

_"So G, the new guy. He any good?" she asked._

_"He's good," Callen replied._

_"You better be right. You know it wasn't fair to pick without me," she said._

_"You were off sick," Callen said._

_"So?" she replied._

_"Trust me, he is the one you would have picked too," Callen said._

X

_"Trust me, you're going to be fine. Just keep your eyes closed," Callen said, as he cleaned up the blood from the cut above her eye._

_"I'm not stupid G, of course my eyes are closed," she replied._

X

_He was above her, kissing her neck, she could barely think straight. He moved away from her neck and looked her in the eyes. She saw the same desire there as she was feeling._

_"I won't hurt you. Trust me," Callen said softly._

_"I know. I always do," she whispered as her gaze locked with his. Her eyes fluttered closed and a soft moan escaped her lips as she felt his body finally slip into hers. Then his lips caught hers in a kiss that took her breath away._

X

"Tash!" Callen tapped her cheeks trying to get her to respond. "Tash wake up."

Her eyes finally opened and she looked up at him. She was on the floor in his arms and he looked worried.

"What happened?" Callen looked down at her, relieved that she was awake.

"Memories, so many," Tash said softly.

"You wouldn't wake up," Sam complained. Tash turned to see that he was right there too. She heard the worry in Sam's voice.

She took at deep breath and let it out slowly as she tried to calm her uneven breathing.

"I'm sorry," Tash apologised.

"What did you remember?" Callen asked. He'd been so worried. The way she had slumped in his arms reminded him of the day she had been shot. That, as well as not being able to get her to respond.

Tash looked back to him and felt the blush start to rise on her cheeks. She tried to sit up, turning her head away from Callen as she did. He helped her. It gave her time.

"Just little things. Lots though," Tash admitted. It was mostly the truth.

"Is everything all right here?" Hetty looked at the scene in front of her, concerned.

"Now," answered Sam. "Tash went and passed out on us."

"Miss Farrow?" Hetty asked. Tash shook her head.

"I didn't pass out. Just a few more memories than I'm used to. I'm fine," Tash assured Hetty, though she didn't try and stand up yet.

"Perhaps you should rest for a little while until Mr Callen is ready to take you home," Hetty suggested.

"Sounds good." At least then she could think about everything without him being there watching her.

Callen stood up and held out his hand to her, so did Sam. Tash put one hand in each and they pulled her up. She had a feeling they had done this before and it was comforting, and it confirmed one of her memories. Callen walked her to the break room and made sure she was settled before he said anything more.

"Tash," Callen spoke, getting her attention as she finally looked at him.

Callen watched her face closely as he spoke. "I don't believe you."

Tash frowned. "About?"

"Just little things," Callen quoted. She blushed and Callen smiled. He was right. He didn't know what she had remembered, but he was sure it was something big, and something about them, given the way she had avoided looking at him. Just like she had about the poker game.

"I'll come get you when we're done," Callen said as he left her alone.


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N - Okay so this is a little look into Hetty and Tash. Don't really know if I've managed to get successfully into Hetty's head, but hopefully it is passable._

_Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favouriting. The encouragement is really appreciated._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1._

_o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~_

**Chapter 16**

Hetty walked in a little later and handed Tash a cold drink as she sat down next to her with a cup of tea.

"I believe you do not do tea, Miss Farrow. Mr Hanna was kind enough to run out and pick up something that he believes you will enjoy."

"Thanks." Tash shook her head slightly. "I don't know about tea though. I don't remember trying it."

Hetty smiled. "I remember. I believe your words were, 'I'm sorry Hetty, but that is just awful' when I arranged a tasting."

X

_"Miss Farrow, would you like to join me for some tea?" Hetty asked her._

_"Tea?" She shook her head. "I don't do tea." _

_Hetty raised her eyebrows and looked at her. "Is there a particular reason?" _

_She heard a muffled chuckled from Callen behind her and looked around at him. She frowned as he turned away and tried to look busy._

_She turned back to Hetty, an apologetic look on her face. "Sorry Hetty. Don't like the taste,"_

_"There are many types of tea, Miss Farrow. Have you tried more than one?" Hetty enquired._

_"A few," she said with a shrug._

_"Then perhaps you should try some more." Hetty tilted her head toward her desk and the tea that was already set up._

_"Okay Hetty, I'll try another," she agreed. She got up and followed Hetty to her desk.. She briefly turned to look at Callen again, as she walked away, to see him watching with a grin on his face. She frowned and narrowed her eyes at him. She had a feeling he had neglected to tell her something about her new boss._

_Hetty handed her a cup after she sat down. She took it tentatively and sniffed, not liking the smell. She tried not to think about it as she looked over at Hetty._

_"What kind is this one?" she asked._

_"Orange Pekoe," Hetty answered as she took a sip of her own. _

_Orange, I like oranges. Can't be too bad right._

_She took a sip and almost spat it out. Tea just wasn't her. She tried to cover her reaction so she didn't offend Hetty, but she was too late._

_Hetty raised her eyebrows._

_"I'm sorry Hetty. But that is just awful," she apologised. Hetty didn't say anything for a moment._

_"Perhaps, we should see what Mr Callen thinks." Hetty's eyes slipped past her and she turned around to see Callen walking away from them._

_"Mr Callen," Hetty called out. He turned around and she caught the laughter in his eyes before he hid it. "Join us please."_

_He walked over to them, she noticed he seemed reluctant. She knew he hadn't told her something about this tea thing. He also knew she didn't like tea. He was going to be in so much trouble._

_"Sit," Hetty ordered. Callen sat. She had a hard time not laughing. She did find it quite funny how intimidated everyone seemed by Hetty, including herself._

_"Tea, Mr Callen." Hetty passed him a cup._

_"Thank you Hetty," Callen inclined his head, took the cup and had a sip._

_"Very nice Hetty," Callen added, as he glanced sideways at her._

_"You really should have told me how much Hetty likes tea, G. It would have saved me all that shopping time last week looking for her birthday present," she said._

_Callen eyes narrowed slightly at her. "Didn't think you knew when Hetty's birthday was."_

_"Oh, there's a lot of things I know, that you don't know about." _

_"Care to share?" Callen asked._

_She didn't answer him. She just stood up and smiled at them both. "Enjoy your tea you two. I've got some paperwork to do." She could feel his eyes on her as she left. As she sat down at her desk, she opened up her drawer and looked at the two small presents in there. One for Hetty and one for him. She knew his birthday was soon. She just wasn't sure if she would give it to him. They hadn't been partners long, just three weeks, but when she had seen it, somehow she couldn't resist getting it for him. She'd just have to wait and see._

X

As the memory faded, Tash looked over at Hetty. "Oh. He didn't tell me about the tea."

"I know," Hetty replied. "How is your drink?"

Tash looked down and realised she hadn't tasted it yet. She took a sip and smiled. Whilst it didn't bring back any more memories, it certainly wasn't awful.

"I'll have to thank Sam later." Tash put the smoothie down on the table and sat back, her head resting against the back of the couch.

"How are you coping with the memories?" Hetty was concerned after her collapse earlier. That, and Natasha had been looking even more fragile recently, like she wasn't getting enough sleep. Perhaps she should check with Nate on her progress.

"There were so many just before. It kind of took me by surprise," Tash answered. More was an understatement. She had no idea how long the memories had taken over her mind. It didn't surprise her that everyone seemed worried. "Normally, it just one, two, maybe three and I'm fine with that. Though I do wish they would hurry up."

"Are you sure about that?" Hetty queried.

Tash turned her head and looked at Hetty with smile. "As long as they don't cause me to pass out again." Though she hadn't actually passed out, it was close enough.

Hetty patted her knee in a gentle and reassuring way. "Rest my dear."

Hetty stood up and walked away. She turned around and glanced at Natasha before she left the room, seeing her put her head back again and close her eyes. Hetty returned to her desk and let herself hope that maybe, soon, Natasha would be ready to return to the team.

Hetty remembered her reasons for choosing Natasha. After assigning Agent Callen and Agent Renko as partners just over four years ago, she had realised her mistake fairly quickly. The two agents did not mix. So, she had looked over her files to see if she could find someone who would fit with Agent Callen. When she came across Agent Farrow's file, she knew this was the one. Callen needed someone to balance out the rough and tough, loner side. Natasha had a gentleness that provoked protectiveness.

Natasha had been on the outer rim of her radar until a mission close to Hetty's heart, had brought her right in. Her god-son's daughter had been kidnapped. The FBI Agent in charge of the investigation was under suspicion, though he didn't known it at the time. Natasha had been sent in, playing the fragile, delicate aunt. Watching from the sidelines, Hetty saw the way the FBI Agent fell for the 'protect me' aura that was just part of Natasha's make up, nothing deliberate on her part. She was a highly capable agent, which was definitely put to the test during that mission. When, after two weeks, they hadn't been able to get anywhere, Natasha 'broke down' telling the Agent that she was really the mother and if only she could get her daughter back, she would run with her and make sure they were never found. He had fallen for it, taking her straight to where the girl was, ready to run with her and the child. Unfortunately, the child was scared of Natasha, as she didn't know her. They'd had to scramble to get there in time but Natasha had put up quite a fight, protecting the child. They successfully rescued Natasha and the child; the FBI Agent wasn't so lucky.

The moment that Callen had first laid eyes on Natasha, she knew her instincts had been correct. She had seen the protective look in his eyes. Her reason for this wasn't to distract Callen, but to have him consider his team rather than just himself. Whilst his ability and talent to be able to work on his own was an incredible asset, when working as a team member he needed something to make him think first, just a little. She hadn't expected the two of them to fall in love, or the long drawn out battle before they finally gave in. When she had added Sam to the mix, she had been relieved to see the instant bonding and, again, protectiveness. They never knew she had overheard the bet. She'd been watching from the shadows to see how they interacted when Sam first met Natasha. She had been quite pleased to see the way Sam had slipped in on the other side of her as they had headed for the door, like two bodyguards protecting something precious. She'd even ignored Callen's speeding ticket from that day. It had been worth it, to see her new little team come together.

Whilst everyone believed Callen was her favourite, it wasn't truly the case. She would admit that Callen was a favourite, but if she had been made to choose between the two, she would have chosen Natasha. She hadn't expected herself to fall for the 'protect me' aura. When Natasha arrived at work on her first day though, she felt it when she looked at the delicate woman and saw the bruise on her face, hidden under the make up and the loose hair. Between that and the special feelings she already had, considering her involvement in kidnapping, looking back, it didn't surprise her.

When she had to choose a new member for the team, she had deliberately avoided any gentle, delicate looking women. With Kensi, she saw a tough, beautiful and talented girl who didn't send out that 'protect me' signal. She didn't feel any of them were ready for that kind of replacement. Kensi had blended in to the team brilliantly, though it had taken the boys a week to settle and realise that Kensi wasn't replacing Natasha, she was just another member of the team. She knew though, that the team had been missing that extra gentle touch, and she hoped it might be filled soon.

Hetty smiled, as she sat back and looked over at Callen, Sam and Kensi. She could see Natasha fitting in with them. All of them.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Callen, Sam and Kensi were at their desks dealing with some of the annoying paperwork that came with the job, whilst Tash had another session with Nate.

Kensi put down her work, having had enough and in need of a break. She looked up at the boys. "So tell me more about Tash. Guessing if she's sticks around, she'll end up being my partner."

Callen looked at Kensi, not entirely sure that would be a good idea. He put down his pen and sat back in his chair before responding.

"Maybe." Kensi and Tash on the loose together on their own, probably wasn't the best idea.

"Maybe?" Sam asked, having heard the doubt in Callen's voice. "What G? Ditching me for a pretty girl?"

Callen grinned and looked at Sam. "She was mine before you."

"I think she'll match up with Kensi just fine," Sam said, though putting Tash back with Callen would be nice to see. He'd be fine working with Kensi, as long as she didn't insist on driving all the time.

"So what should I know? Aside from the blood thing," Kensi asked.

"She's a girl." Sam chuckled at Callen's answer

Kensi rolled her eyes. "That much is obvious."

"No, not what he meant," Sam said as he shook his head. His comment made Kensi curious and she looked to Callen for an explanation. Callen complied.

"Tash, is more gentle than you. If I had to choose which of you to take in on a physical fight, you easily Kenz. But on something requiring a more gentle touch, Tash would win."

"I can be gentle," Kensi defended.

"Not doubting that. Just that Tash is better at that kind of thing," Callen said.

"What about driving?"

Callen smiled as Sam answered that one.

"Hetty wants the car back without a scratch, let her drive. Otherwise, you're better." Sam glanced at Callen before continuing. "She's the only one of us that has a perfectly clean record. Not a scratch or an accident in the two years she was active here."

"So I'm the tough tomboy and she's the girly girl," Kensi summed up.

"Yep," Callen answered with a grin. That was one way to differentiate between the two of them, though they could both be the other if they had to be.

"Unless someone messes with one of us," Sam added. He looked over at Callen, a grin on his face. Callen nodded.

"Good point. Then she gets scary," Callen agreed.

Kensi sat back in her chair and smiled. "Do tell." She liked Tash and was starting to look forward to not being the only girl on the team. Not that Hetty wasn't a girl, but Hetty was just Hetty.

"Sam got taken once. When we managed to find him, it was just Tash and I and back up wasn't going to be there for about five minutes. There was only three guys, so we figured why not," Callen said.

Kensi looked at Sam, curious. "How'd they manage to catch you?"

"Drugged him," Callen answered. Kensi turned back to look at Sam as he spoke.

"Couldn't believe it when they walked in and Tash left G dealing with the other two whilst she came over to me. I swear there was fire in her eyes. Didn't know what she was going to do."

Callen grinned. "I'd forgotten to warn Sam about her protective streak."

"No kidding. She walked straight at us. This guy had a gun to my head and she wouldn't stop." Sam shook his head briefly as he remembered that day.

"Seriously?" Kensi frowned, not entirely sure if she liked the sound of this story.

"Seriously. Cool after the fact, but I thought she'd lost it and that I was about to get shot in the head," Sam admitted.

"Details please." Maybe with more details it wouldn't be as bad as it sounded.

X

"_Ten minutes until back up gets there," Eric said. A few minutes later Callen and Tash saw three of the six men leave in a car._

"_Come on G, let's go get Sam. There's only three of them now," Tash pleaded with him. "If you're not up for it, I'll do it myself." _

_Callen looked at her carefully. _

"_Not letting you go off on your own." He could see the fury in her eyes. It had been there since they heard about Sam being taken._

"_Then let's go." Tash stood up and walked to the entrance. He followed close behind._

_They broke threw the door and there were two of the men. Callen went through first, giving Tash the chance to look for Sam before she got into the fight._

"_All yours G, I'm going to get Sam." Tash passed by him and landed a punch on one of the men as she went. _

_Sam saw her coming, leaving Callen fighting the other two. She had her gun pointed at them. He wondered if that really was Tash. He'd never seen her looking so bad, in a good way, before._

"_So, your choice. Put the gun down, step away and get down on the floor, or I'll shoot you." Tash kept walking toward them, her eyes focused on the man holding the gun to his head. She didn't even glance at Sam._

"_I'll shoot!" came from the man next to him. Tash didn't slow down, if anything Sam thought she was going faster now and he wondered what the hell she had planned. At least he hoped she had something planned._

"_Go on, give it try. But you won't, because before you pull the trigger, you'll have half a dozen bullets in you, none fatal, and I will ensure that you live a long, and very painful, life." Tash was now only about five steps away, still walking full speed, and Sam could feel the guy shaking. His eyes went looking for Callen, who had taken care of the other two and was watching, standing relaxed against the wall. Sam wondered why he wasn't coming closer._

"_I'll shoot," the man stammered once again._

"_No, you won't." Tash walked right up to him and punched him. He fell to the ground and lost the gun. She kicked the gun out of the way, flipped him over, cuffed him and said firmly, "Y__o__u don't mess with what's mine."_

_Tash then stood up and moved to Sam. _

"_You okay?" Tash asked, as she used a knife to cut the tape around his ankles._

"_I'm fine, but what did you do with my sweet little Tash?" Sam asked, as she undid the handcuffs and he saw that Callen was finally making his way over as the back up team took care of the two he had taken out._

"_Did I forget to mention she's a little protective?" Callen asked when he got to them._

"_You also forgot to mention that she shoots fire from her eyes when pissed off," Sam added._

_Callen chuckled. "That too." _

_Tash looked up at Sam and he saw the softness he was used to._

"_Sam, I would never do anything to risk either of you. The guy still had the safety on. Let's go home," Tash said softly._

_Sam sighed in relief. "She's back."_

X

Kensi turned to Callen. "When did you learn about her protective streak?" she asked.

"A few months after Tash started, we went to a house to bring in a suspect. Didn't go as easily as planned. There were four guys but we managed to take down three of them before the last one, the one we were there for, got some shots off that barely missed me and Tash went for him. Almost emptied her clip at his feet and had him dancing out of the way like a puppet." Callen smiled at the memory before he continued. "Then he fell and she was on him so fast, gun pressed right against his head. Had the guy completely terrified. She didn't move until we had back up there to take them in. They were only a few minutes away, so not long."

"Didn't try and get her to move off him?" Sam asked.

Callen shook his head. "Would you? After seeing her eyes?"

Sam shrugged. Probably not.

"What did she do when she finally moved?" Kensi asked.

Callen grinned. "Realised she was bleeding and almost fainted. She was too angry about them almost getting me to realise they'd actually gotten her." Callen stopped as he saw Tash heading over to them.

"Okay, so any sign of fire in her eyes, get out of the way." Kensi shook her head slightly. "But even with that, you still don't think she's tough?"

"She's tough enough. For the rest, she has us," Sam answered.

When Callen saw Tash reach for the table he jumped up and went over to her. He still remembered yesterday when she had almost passed out. Tash looked at him. "Tough?" she whispered before he saw her eyes go distant as another memory took over.

X

_She was tied to the chair, mouth taped shut and her head hurt. She could hear voices and wondered whose they were. They didn't sound familiar. She tried to clear her head, gently shaking it and taking some slow, deep breaths, trying to remain calm. She heard gun fire but couldn't do anything. She couldn't scream to let them know she was here, assuming it was her team. She closed her eyes as the sound of the gunfire got closer, not wanting to see, should she get hit. But there was no pain and the shooting stopped._

_She heard footsteps come closer, but was scared to open her eyes. She'd been stuck here for over a day and just didn't want to see her captors at the moment. She felt like she was about to lose it and that wouldn't be good. She just needed sometime to pull herself together, even if it was only behind closed eyes._

"_So is this the way we get you to stop talking?" a familiar voice asked as he quickly pulled __the tape off her mouth. It hurt, but she didn't care as she opened her eyes to see Sam, smiling at her._

"_Just ask, okay," she whispered. Sam reached around and cut the ropes binding her hands and legs. She wanted to reach out, to throw herself into the safety of his arms, but she was shaking. That, and her muscles didn't want to respond after being stuck in the same position for so long._

"_You okay Tash?" Sam asked her, concern in his eyes and voice._

"_Now I am." Her throat was so dry that her voice came out broken and soft. "But I don't think I can move."_

"_I can take care of that." Sam gently picked her up and carried her out of the warehouse. She rested her head on his shoulder and felt the tears fall. Sam didn't complain. She closed her eyes as the sun hit them, so bright it hurt._

"_Our girl okay Sam?" Callen's voice asked, with more of the same concern she had heard in Sam's earlier._

"_Yeah, she's good," Sam replied. The tears fell faster and she muffled a sob in Sam's neck._

"_Tash?" Callen's voice was gentle, as she felt his hand move her hair away from her face._

_She turned her head slightly to look at him. "Guess I'm not as tough as I thought."_

"_You're tough enough," Sam said. "And you have us for the rest."_

X

_She stood under the hot shower for a long time, getting her muscles to loosen. When she was done and dressed, she walked to her desk to get her things, but they were gone. She frowned and looked around for them. _

"_Missing something?" Callen asked, bringing her attention to him. He was leaning against the wall, holding her bag._

"_Not anymore." She walked over to him and reached for the bag. He held it away from her and she frowned._

"_Come on G, I want to go home to bed." She was exhausted and just wanted this day to be over._

"_That's where I'm taking you," Callen replied. She looked up at him, confused._

"_What?" she asked._

"_Sam and I flipped a coin. I get to keep you company tonight, Sam tomorrow night," Callen clarified._

"_I don't recall inviting either of you to stay at my place." She didn't mind though, not really. She should have expected something like this._

_Callen shrugged. "You didn't."_

"_So how did that happen?" she asked him._

_Callen straightened up and reached out to touch her cheek, that was bruised. Just one of the several minor injuries she had from the ordeal. "You're hurt and we care about you. Like it or not, you're stuck with us."_

_Tash looked at him for a moment. She couldn't think of any two guys she'd rather be stuck with._

"_Fine, I like. But I get the bed." She turned and walked away, leaving him with the bag. She heard him chuckle from behind her._

"_I don't mind sharing, but the couch will be fine," Callen said as he caught up and fell into step beside her. She tried not to smile. They knew her well. She hadn't really been wanting to go home. She had even considered staying on the couch here._

X

_She woke up from the dream, in the comfort of her own bed, not tied up. Her breathing was harsh, but at least she hadn't screamed out. She saw a soft light coming in from the lounge room and got up to check. She found Callen asleep on the couch. She carefully covered him with the blanket that was on the back and watched him for a moment before turning away and going back to the bedroom. When she got there, she stopped in the doorway and looked at the bed. She realised she didn't want to be alone. She walked back to the couch and slipped underneath the blanket, trying to not to wake him. She didn't succeed._

"_Tash? What's wrong?" Callen asked, as he sat up and looked at her._

"_What? It's not like we've never shared a couch before." She didn't wanted to admit why she was here. She was sure he would figure it out, but as long as she didn't say anything, she could deny it all she wanted._

"_The bed would be more comfortable. Not like we haven't shared a bed before either," Callen said softly._

"_It's lonely in there," she admitted. Better to admit lonely than scared. Callen smiled gently at her._

"_I can take care of that," Callen replied, unconsciously repeating Sam's phrase from earlier in the day. She didn't really know what to say next. He stood up, took her hand and pulled her up to him._

"_Bad dream?" he asked. She nodded, biting her lip._

"_You're safe. Let's get some sleep." He slipped his arm around her shoulder as he guided them back to her bed. _

X

Tash finally looked at Callen and Sam and smiled.

"You know you two are really sweet."

"Sweet?" Sam asked, confused. Tash looked at him.

"Both of you, staying over to make sure I was okay," she said.

Sam frowned. "I didn't stay over."

It was Tash's turn to frown as she looked at Callen.

"So who stayed the next night?" she asked him.

Callen shrugged. "I did." He knew what memory she'd just had. It was the first time he'd stayed at her place. Finding out she had been kidnapped had been even worse than when Sam had been taken. He wasn't about to leave her alone after that. He'd ended up spending almost a week there, though she didn't seem to remember that yet.

"You lied about the coin?" Tash had that tilt to her head that she got when she was trying to figure something out.

"Did what needed to be done," Callen replied. He hadn't been sure she would say yes, so he'd felt it would be easier if she thought the idea came from the two of them.

Tash sat down in her chair. She closed her eyes briefly.

"Tash, are you doing okay?" Sam asked, concerned.

She looked up at Sam. "Sometimes the memories are more intense than I am expecting, that's all." She knew from her memories that she had felt lucky to have them in her life then. She was starting to realise it now too.

"Coming faster?" Callen asked, hoping this was a good sign, though he didn't like to see her so fragile.

"That too," Tash nodded. "Not a good time to try my hand at driving. Or anything physical for that matter."

Callen checked the time. Close enough. "Perhaps I should take you home," he offered. Since they weren't in the middle of anything, he didn't think Hetty would object.

"Maybe, but don't you have work to do?" Tash asked. Home sounded really good right now.

Callen grinned. "You are work." Tash raised her eyebrows at his comment.

"Really? That bad am I, that I'm work?"

"The good kind," Callen reassured her. "Come on, let's go." He reached out his hand to her. She took it gratefully and he pulled her up, making sure he held on until he was sure she was steady on her feet. She wasn't going to complain about going home right now. She'd remembered so much in her session with Nate today, along with everything that had come back in the last few days, and she was tired. She didn't even know where to start to try and process everything new in her head, let alone all of the previous stuff.


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N - Thanks for the reviews and alerts, really appreciated._

_Only a few chapters left, so let me know if I've missed out on explaining anything, or if there is anything you want to see/know._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

**Chapter 18**

They were eating dinner that night, Tash just picking at her food. Again, her appetite not really there. She finally looked up at Callen and asked, "Did I ever find the right one?"

Callen frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I remembered some stuff today. Lousy track record with guys; you and Sam to the rescue." Tash looked away, embarrassed.

"Which time?"

She looked back at him quickly and briefly closed her eyes as she let out a slow breath.

"Guessed as much. Figured you two wouldn't be there if it was just a one off." Tash looked down at her food before continuing. "Redhead, when I thought about office dating."

X

_She watched her date whisper in the ear of a tall redhead on the other side of the room. She'd gone to the bathroom and when she returned, he wasn't where she'd left him. She shook her head, not quite believing this was happening again. She was done. Time to go home. She checked her purse and realised she didn't have enough cash to cover the cab. She hadn't been expecting to be taken somewhere on the other side of the city. She'd left her credit cards at home too. It was just a first date and she usually avoided carrying anything that would identify her too much until she actually trusted whoever it was. Resigned, she pulled out her phone and called Callen._

_"What's up Tash?" Callen answered._

_"Come get me please," she asked softly._

_"Bad date?" _

_"I really know how to pick them don't I?" she complained. "I'm at -"_

_"I know where you are." She turned around at the sound of his voice coming from behind her. She hung up and put her phone away as she tried not to smile._

_"Stalking is against the law you know," she told him. She couldn't believe he was right here. She tried not show how happy she was to see him, though she doubted she was successful._

_"Wasn't stalking. Just protecting," Callen replied as he put his phone away._

_"Thank you," she whispered. _

_Callen slipped his arm around her and asked, "Want to dance before we go?" She shook her head as she listened to the fast paced music._

_"Not really in the mood for a fast one," she said._

_"No one said we have to dance fast." Callen pulled her gently onto the dance floor and into his arms. "You haven't danced yet tonight," he added softly._

_She rested her head on his shoulder and they moved slowly to the music. Eventually, she looked up at him._

_"How do I manage to have such lousy taste in men when I'm surrounded by such great ones at work?" she asked him, not really expecting an answer._

_Callen grinned. "We're a hard bunch to live up to." She smiled back at him._

_"I'm sure Nate would have a field day with that question. Hey, maybe I should ask Nate out," she suggested._

_"Too tall," Callen replied._

_"Eric?" She tilted her head as she continued to look at him. Callen shook his head._

_"Unless it involves a pack of cards, you'd have a hard time getting him away from his computer. You're not his type," he answered._

_"Renko?" _

_"No." She raised her eyebrows at the firmness to his answer but didn't question it. She knew that was her answer as well._

_"And Sam's taken and you don't date cops. Well, there goes that theory." She rested her head back against his shoulder. "I should just forget it, not like I'd find someone who could understand this life anyway."_

_"You shouldn't give up," Callen encouraged her. She looked back up at him._

_"Really G, even if the perfect guy was staring me in the face, what kind of chance do you think there is that he would understand? How many guys could let their girl do a job that involves them being shot at, making out with other guys, never knowing when they were coming home, or if, and all the other kind of pretending we do?" she asked sadly._

_"Look at Sam, he's got someone," Callen replied. She shook her head._

_"Yeah, but she came along a long time ago and they built up to this life. She already understood him, trusted him and knew who he was. If a guy came along now, he has to figure that out on the run, even before he has a chance to trust me" The music finished and she pulled back from him. "Thank you for the dance. Can we go please?" _

_Callen steered them away from the dance floor only to have Tash yanked away from him._

_"Where do you think you are going? You came with me, you leave with me," her date said, speech slurred._

_"You went to the redhead, take her home." She pulled her arm away. When he reached for her again, another hand stopped him. She looked up to see Sam standing there, a lump forming in her throat at the protective look on his face._

_"The lady isn't interested," Sam almost growled, looking down on the guy._

_"And who are you to say that?" the date asked. "She's not yours."_

_"Actually, she is," Callen and Sam both declared at the same time._

_"Take me home please guys. I don't want to be here anymore," she begged and turned away from them before the tears could fall. She felt Sam fall into step on one side of her and Callen on the other. Callen slipped his arm around her and they all walked out of the club together. She felt loved and protected, and she could live with this. Even if she didn't have anyone to go home to, she knew she had them. Always._

X

"Last time then," Callen replied. There had been the only time she'd ever discussed office dating with him.

"So I did give up?" So maybe she'd been wrong about there being something between the two of them.

"You stopped dating for a while," Callen answered. Tash looked up, feeling a small amount of hope at his words.

"I started again?" Tash closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm guessing I didn't find him." She looked away from him, disappointed.

"Why?" Callen asked, not sure how to answer her. He knew what he wanted to tell her but couldn't. Not with Nate's rules. Perhaps he should talk to Nate about loosening them, just a little.

Her voice was soft as she spoke; soft and disheartened. "Where is he? Surely if I'd found the right one, he'd be here, helping me."

"How do you know he isn't?" Callen asked. Tash looked up at him, waiting for more.

"Is he?" Tash prompted when he didn't say anything more. She desperately hoped he would tell her yes and that it was him.

"You have to remember that," Callen said. He knew what she was asking but he couldn't answer it the way she wanted. He watched as Tash put down her fork, stood up and walked away, running her hands through her hair. A sure sign she was frustrated.

She wrapped her arms around herself, she felt like she was about to fall apart again.

"Tash?" Callen asked.

"I just want to remember. Why won't Nate let you tell me?" Tash asked as she spun around and looked at him. Callen could see the distress and pain in her eyes and stood up.

"Because you need to remember what happened, not what we tell you happened." Callen walked closer to her and continued. "Because we want you back." He slipped his arms around her and whispered in her ear, "We want you back, Tash." She put her arms around him and held on tight, wishing for the same thing. She wanted to know who she was, she wanted to be back. She had to find a way to remember. She needed to remember what it was between them. She needed to know and nothing else mattered right now.

Tash looked up at Callen, raised herself up on her toes and kissed him. She felt him tense and pull back slightly. She looked carefully at him to make sure he wasn't mad at her. He wasn't, so she kissed him again, moving her arms around his neck to hold him close. She ran her tongue gently over his lips, asking for more, and he responded, deepening the kiss. Again, this felt so familiar, so right. Eventually Callen pulled back.

Tash opened her eyes and looked at him. She could feel the tears pricking the backs of her eyes.

"Tash, please," Callen begged. He needed her to stop before this went further than a kiss, needed her to remember them first so she knew he wasn't taking advantage of her and the situation. Tash closed her eyes and moved away. She turned and almost ran to the bedroom, closed the door behind her and let the tears fall. She didn't bother getting changed, just curled up on the bed and cried silently. Cried for everything she had forgotten; everyone she had forgotten; everyone she had lost and everything they were missing out on. She didn't know when she would stop, she just knew that it hurt so much and somehow, this helped ease it a little. Eventually she fell asleep.

Callen let her go. He knew if he followed her he would give her anything she asked for. To hell with Nate's rules. But he didn't want to mess this up. He'd trusted that Nate knew best, though there was definitely a part of him that was beginning to doubt that. Instead, he headed for the shower. When he came out, he listened carefully at the door to the bedroom, but couldn't hear anything. He decided to wait a little longer before going in. When he did check on her, she was asleep. He covered her up with the blanket, noticed the tears on her cheeks and wished he'd been in here with her when they fell. He wanted to stay, to hold her in case they came again, but he couldn't. Not tonight. So he went out and tried to sleep on the couch.

Tash dreamt again that night; little memories, and bigger ones.

X

_She found him at the beach, on the bench seat. She sat down beside him, quietly. It had been a rough case and they needed some peace. This was where they came for that. She didn't want to disturb him, so she just sat and waited._

_"It shouldn't have happened that way," Callen finally said._

_"I know," she replied. _

_"That kid ... shouldn't have been there."_

_She shook her head in agreement. "We didn't know until it was too late." Too late to save an innocent boy._

_"What went wrong Tash? How did we miss that?" Callen asked, finally looking at her. She shook her head again._

_"I don't know. I've been wondering the same thing. Wondering if I could done something different. Gotten to him, protected him somehow. If I had, maybe the bullet would have got me instead." She'd wondered that so many times in the last few hours._

_"That would have just made it worse," Callen replied._

_"No, I had the vest on G. I would have made it," she said sadly and slipped her hand into his. "At least we did get the bad guys," she added._

_"That doesn't make it right." His voice held such anger, but she knew it wasn't at her._

_She kept her voice soft as she spoke again, hoping it would help him too. _

_"I know, but it's the only thing that will keep me coming back to work after a day like today," she said. "Have to find something good in it all." She looked over at him again. "Care for a walk on the beach?"_

_Callen smiled. "Your usual walk the troubles away?" he asked. She smiled back. This was what they did. He sat brooding for a little bit then joined her for a walk. Then they'd go back to work and get on with it._

_"Of course," she replied. She slipped her shoes off before standing up. He did the same and took her hand as they moved closer to the water. She felt the cool water wash over her feet and they walked, just at the edge where it moved in and out. Callen slipped his arm around her shoulder, she slipped hers around his waist. They didn't say anything, just walked slowly. After a while they stopped and she turned to him. _

_Callen looked down at her and she saw the pain in his eyes. The pain he would hide soon, before they got back to the office, before Nate could see it. He reached down and stroked her cheek. She closed her eyes at his touch and then she felt his lips touch hers, so softly. She slipped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss. It was gentle and caring, healing almost. They pulled back and looked at each other. He looked like he was about to say something but she put her fingers on his lips to stop him._

_"We both needed this. Something good. That's all," she whispered, wishing things could be different, wishing this could be more. She slipped her arm around his waist and they turned and started to walk back the way they had come._

_"So, that could have been with anyone?" Callen asked. She sensed some mischief in his voice and smiled._

_"Nope." She shook her head. "Wouldn't have been the same with Renko."_

_"You never did tell me why it was easier to kiss him," Callen said._

_"No I didn't," she agreed._

_"Why was it easier?" Callen asked. She stopped and looked up at him._

_"You really want to know?"_

_"Yes," Callen replied._

_"Why?" she asked. She saw the look on his face and smiled as she shook her head slightly. "No. If that's the reason, just so you can have something to tease him about, not going to happen," she added._

_"I won't tell him then," Callen offered. She tilted her head and frowned as she thought about that._

_"Fine, I'll tell you on two conditions. You do not tell Renko, ever, and you don't say anything until we get back to the office. Not a word," she said._

_"Deal," Callen promised. Her eyes widened in shock._

_"You want to know that badly that you are willing to let me get the last word in?" she asked._

_"Yep," Callen replied._

_She slipped her arm back around him and they started walking again._

_"With Renko I can still think." She glanced up at him and saw him open his mouth to say something and she shook her head. "Remember, not a word G."_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Tash tried to concentrate on the case that was in front of them, tried to focus on the pictures and the information on the screen, but she couldn't. She kept thinking back to last night, to kissing Callen. To the pain of not remembering. She couldn't work out why she wasn't remembering things about their relationship, the one she was so sure that they had. She slipped out the room and found a quiet place to sit, in a little alcove in the wall, by a window. Tash pulled her knees up to her chest and put her head down, whilst she tried to get her thoughts somewhere else, just to give her head a break for a little while. That was where Nate found her.

"Tash? You okay?" Nate asked her, as he sat down next to her. She looked up at him and shook her head.

"No," Tash replied..

Nate frowned in concern. It was the first time he had seen such pain in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Tash repeated. "You mean aside from me not remembering my life or who I am?' Tash asked. Aside from being in love with someone who I have no idea if he feels the same. She was sure that was what she felt for Callen even though she barely had anything to base it on. Memories of the two of them, mostly revolved around work.

"It'll come Tash. You've only been back with us for two weeks. You've remembered so much already," Nate reassured her. She agreed with that much at least. She had remembered a lot of things, but she couldn't put it altogether yet and figure out who she was. That was the problem.

"It's not enough Nate. I don't know who I am. I'm just a bunch of stories at the moment. Admittedly a lot of stories, but I still can't find me," Tash replied, as she leaned her head back against the wall.

"I know it's hard -" Nate started to say but she cut him off.

"Do you? Do you really know what this is like? Have you ever lost your memories? Forgotten who you are?" Part of her hoped he would say yes and tell her that he had fully recovered.

"No," Nate admitted quietly.

"Then you don't know how hard it is. I feel like I'm this book; no cover, no author notes, no write up on the back. Someone has pulled out the pages, replaced some with blanks, taken away the page numbers, the contents and the index. I have nothing to go on, Nate." Tash stopped for a breath and Nate waited patiently for her to continue.

"I'm just this bunch of memories, and the only way I can sort them at the moment is adult versus child. I want to be me, not just this book where I can't even fill in the general story," Tash finished. Nate could see the tears in her eyes that she was trying not to let fall.

"Tash, you'll get there, it will just take some more time. We'll help you as much as we can," Nate reassured her. Now he had heard the pain in her voice that Callen had mentioned a few days ago, as well as seeing it in her eyes. He wondered how he had missed it during their sessions.

"Then let me know what the story is, help me find where everything fits. Tell me who I am," Tash cried desperately. She saw the look on Nate's face and stood up. She turned back to face him before she continued. "But you won't will you? I have to remember for myself. How long Nate? How long do I have to live like this? If you can call it living. Missing out on my life now, whilst I try to figure out my past? I've already lost two years, when can I start living again?" Tash asked. She didn't wait for an answer. She turned and started walking away quickly, stopping abruptly after a few steps when she saw Callen. He was close enough that he must have heard her talk with Nate.

Callen watched her walk past him. As much as he wanted to, he didn't try and stop her. He had something else he needed to do. He needed to talk to Nate and Hetty. This had to stop. She needed more from them. He was going to make sure she got it.

"Nate," Callen called out as Nate started to walk in the opposite direction to him. Nate stopped and turned around.

When Callen got to him, Nate spoke first.

"You heard all of that?" Nate asked as he glanced in the direction Tash had gone.

"Yep. It's got to stop Nate. I've followed your rules until now. She's hurting too much," Callen said.

"She's doing well Callen. She's remembering a lot. She just needs time." Callen shook his head at Nate's words.

"No Nate, she's not. You don't see it. You don't see the pain in her eyes that's there all the time. There's more adding to it everyday. You've only seen the one meltdown." Nate looked surprised as Callen continued. "There's been more. She's remembered so much about those she's lost, but she hasn't remembered what's standing in front of her. What she still has. Something good and you're tying my hands. I can't do it. I won't watch her hurt anymore. _I_ won't hurt her anymore."

"Callen-" Nate was cut off by Hetty.

"I agree with Mr Callen." Nate looked over at Hetty. She held up her hand to stop him saying anything as she continued. "I have watched Miss Farrow get more fragile by the day recently. What we are doing is not enough anymore."

"If she wants to know anything, if she asks me about something, I will tell her," Callen added firmly.

"Look," Nate interrupted, "you are taking her dancing tomorrow. It's going to be personal. See how that goes first."

Callen looked at Nate for a moment whilst he contemplated the suggestion. He shook his head. "No. I won't offer to tell her between now and then, but if she asks something, I will. That's all can give you Nate. She comes first."

"Hey guys," came Eric's voice from behind them. They all turned to him. "Got something you should see."

Tash found her way to Sam's punching bag. She wondered if it might help to relieve some of the frustration, except that she had no idea what to do. She walked up to it and gave it a push. She almost laughed at herself. If anyone had seen her they would probably think that she was such a wimp. Given how heavy the bag felt to her push, she was sure if she tried to hit it she would probably break something so she turned away, only to find Sam standing watching her.

"You okay?" Sam asked. He'd been worried about her after she had slipped out of the meeting.

Tash shrugged. She didn't really know how to answer that question for Sam.

"Want me to teach you how to punch again?" Sam asked.

"Again?" Tash frowned. "Have you done that before?"

"Yep," Sam replied.

"Was I any good?" Tash remembered one of her flashes that suggested Sam had taught her some moves.

"You were getting better." Sam walked towards her after getting some gloves from a cupboard. "You were stubborn though, refusing to ask G to teach you."

Tash frowned again "Why would I do that?"

Sam shrugged. That wasn't a question he was able to answer.

"Put em on," Sam said instead. "Let's see if you still punch like a girl."

X

_"You know you punch like a girl." Sam voice came from behind her as she was working out with the punching bag. She turned around and gave him a look that had him smiling._

_"Aside from the fact that I am a girl," she rolled her eyes at the look on his face, "how about you help me then. Teach me to do it properly. Teach me to fight better."_

_"G would be a better option," Sam replied._

_With raised eyebrows she asked "Why? Not like I'm going to hurt you."_

_Sam grinned. "He's closer to your height, less likely to hurt you." _

_She shook her head. "Sorry, not gonna happen." She turned back to the punching bag._

_"Has he taught you anything since you two have been partners?" Sam asked._

_"Not fighting related," she replied as she started punching again._

_"Why not?"_

_"Haven't asked him to." It was hard enough sometimes getting close to him with work, let alone throw in guaranteed close contact that wasn't acting._

_"Why not?" Sam asked again. She turned around to look at him._

_"It's complicated," she admitted._

_Sam shook his head at her words. "No it's not. You like him." _

_"No I don't," she denied quickly and turned away._

_"Perhaps you need to work on your lying skills rather than your fighting ones," Sam commented. "Come on Tash. I'm not blind. I saw it the first day." _

_"Like I said back then, he doesn't date cops." She looked over her shoulder at him and begged, "Drop it please, Sam."_

_"Fine, let's see what we can do with you," Sam agreed._

_As she landed on her back, yet again, after a failed attempt to take Sam down, she heard Callen's voice, "What the hell is going on?" _

_She groaned, not that she was in pain, but she knew that tone. It was the one he had with her anytime he thought she was doing something stupid. She sat up and looked at him._

_"What's wrong G?" She was slightly breathless from the last fall and she saw his frown deepen as he heard it. _

_"You're fighting with Sam," Callen accused eyes narrowing at her._

_"He is helping me," she corrected. She stood up and turned her back on him as she faced Sam._

_"Since when?" Callen asked._

_"Today."_

_"Why?" Callen asked. She knew that tone, he wasn't going to let it go and if she didn't give him a satisfactory answer, she would be in even more trouble._

_"Because I need it," she answered. He should at least agree with that. She glanced back over her shoulder at him as she continued. "Look G, are you going to stay and watch, or leave? Either way, I don't mind, just as long as you don't talk."_

_"Sam, I'll take it from here," Callen said. Sam glanced at her and she shook her head slightly as she silently begged him to stay._

_"Sorry Tash, maybe another day," Sam responded and walked away. _

_She closed her eyes, glad she wasn't facing Callen. She had no idea what kind of trouble she was in and she needed time. She felt him come close behind her._

_"So why didn't you ask me?" Callen asked._

_She turned around and attempted to divert him. "You think you can beat Sam?" she asked._

_"Probably not, at least not yet," Callen admitted._

_"Well there you go then. If I'm going to learn, it should be from the best shouldn't it?" Tash asked. She stepped back from him. He was too close. He noticed and she saw a slight smile on his lips, like he knew how he was affecting her. Please don't let him know, she silently prayed to whoever was listening._

_"You've never asked me to teach you Tash. We've been together a long time. Why Sam? Why now?" _

_She had no idea how to answer that, without giving away what she felt for him. She'd made it this far without him finding out, she wasn't about to fail now. So she changed tactics._

_"You think you can teach me better than Sam. Let's do it. I'm all warmed up," Tash offered. Callen's eyes narrowed at her._

_"Fine," Callen replied. He stepped away to put down his coffee. _

_She closed her eyes. What have I done? So stupid!_

_"Mr Callen, Miss Farrow. Please join us upstairs. We have a case," Hetty said, from the doorway._

_She sighed with relief, one that Callen heard and he turned to look at her with a frown. She quickly walked out following Hetty._

_"Another time, Tash," Callen promised softly as she passed him._

X

"Guess I needed a fair bit of work. Probably need more now. You still willing?" Tash asked, then added with a smile, "Or are you still scared of G?"

Sam shook his head. "Let's just start with the punching bag," he instructed, not wanting to push his luck with Callen again or run the risk of hurting Tash since she was definitely out of practise and not as strong as she used to be.

Tash put on the gloves and waited for Sam. Maybe this would help her mind take a break. Couldn't hurt too much. At least she hoped not. She just hoped Callen wouldn't walk in on them.


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N - So this chapter is a little shorter than most but the next one (final one) will make up for it. It will be the longest yet, and one of the reasons I felt this needed to be a separate chapter._

_This chapter is slightly AU - because I needed Callen and Tash to have been to the Washington office before, which means having met Tony, which I'm not sure in the show he has. Anyway, hope you like._

_Thanks heaps for the reviews, alerts and favourites for this. It's really encouraging._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

**Chapter 20**

By the end of that day, the team had a lead in the case they had been working on. Callen was headed to Washington to meet up with Gibbs' team to follow it up. Since it was Friday, that would mean that the dancing Saturday wasn't going to happen, at least not this Saturday.

"Miss Farrow, you will be joining Mr Callen in Washington," Hetty ordered.

Tash turned and looked at Hetty, shocked. "Why me?" she asked. "I haven't been much help." She hadn't been able to get into the victim's head and she still couldn't remember what else she usually did. It was frustrating and she wondered if that first case was simply a fluke.

"It's more about the memories. You've been to Washington before. Maybe a different location will prompt something new," Hetty answered with a brief glance at Callen.

Tash frowned as she caught the look between the two of them and turned to Callen. "Was I with you when I went there?"

"Yes," Callen replied. Tash looked at him carefully. There was something else happening here and she was sure he was behind it. She shook her head slightly. No, now she was just being paranoid. This was just work and an opportunity to help her remember.

"You need to be at the airport by ten pm. Here are your tickets, Mr Callen." Hetty handed the details and tickets to Callen.

"Thanks Hetty." Callen reached for his jacket. Tash picked up her bag as well and followed him out the door.

As they walked out of the building Tash asked him, "Do I like flying?" She couldn't remember having ever been on a plane.

Callen turned to her and smiled. There was something about that smile, something about the way he had been with her since her conversation with Nate earlier today. It wasn't so much what he said or did, it was a feeling she was getting from him. Like a vibe or something. Tash changed her mind. She was sure it wasn't that she was being paranoid. There was definitely something going on that she didn't know about.

"I'll hold your hand if you get scared," Callen promised. Tash frowned at him. Somehow she had a feeling he was enjoying all of this a little bit more than he should be. He was definitely up to something.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

"Tash! Pleasure to have you back," Tony DiNozzo welcomed her as they walked into the bullpen in the Washington office. "I see you haven't changed much." Tash frowned at him as she saw him check her out. He hadn't exactly tried to do it subtly.

"Nothing's changed Tony," Callen warned. Tash looked at Callen whose back was still to her. The protective tone to his words confused her.

"So, you two still together then?" Tony asked. Tash's eyes widened as she stared at Callen's back. "Together?" she questioned, almost under her breath. Did that mean what she thought?

"Better hope Gibbs doesn't know you're breaking the rules again," Tony continued when Callen didn't say anything.

"Gibbs knows everything," Callen replied, as he finally looked at Tash. There was a slight smirk on his face and her eyes narrowed.

"That I do." Gibbs came round the corner and looked at Tash. "Welcome back, Farrow."

Tash put her hands on the table as she felt the familiar feel of a memory returning sweep over her.

X

_"As if Gibbs knows everything. Come on. I'll bet there is plenty he doesn't know about me," she said, feeling confident, especially since she had only met Gibbs yesterday._

_"Gibbs is like Hetty, just bigger," Callen replied._

_"No one knows everything, not even Hetty." She wondered if lightning might strike her down, she was sure that was almost a lie._

_"Date of birth - 15 March 1972; Graduated 1989, top of your class; Honors Degree, Stanford; Best friend was Emily; You sleep on the left hand side of the bed. Even know your bra size, Farrow. Saddle up," Gibbs ordered as he walked in on them and her eyes wide with what he knew._

_"Bra size?" DiNozzo asked. "Do tell." A Gibbs head smack was DiNozzo's reward._

_"Let's go people. We've got a bad guy to catch so these two can get back to the sun." Gibbs picked up his jacket and started to walk to the elevator. They all followed._

_"You are in so much trouble Callen." _

_"Me! What did I do?" Callen asked. She turned and pushed him against the wall._

_"Side of the bed I sleep on? You're the only one who knows that." She poked him in the chest to emphasise her words._

_Callen grinned. "Gibbs knows I sleep on the right, easier to reach for my gun. That leaves you on the left." She frowned at him._

_"Bra size?" she asked, wondering how he would get out of this one._

_"Hetty has a file. How do you think she dresses you so easily?" Callen answered. She didn't believe him. Well, she did about Hetty, but not about how Gibbs would know. Hetty had no reason to pass that information to Gibbs. Her eyes narrowed at him and she was about to say something, but stopped as she heard Gibbs._

_"Farrow!" Gibbs' voice rang out from the elevator. "If you're not here by the time I count to five, DiNozzo gets his wish," Gibbs finished._

_She turned quickly and ran to the elevator, Callen following._

_"1... 2 ... 3 … 4 ..." Gibbs counted._

_"Drat," said DiNozzo as she stepped into the elevator._

_She ended up between Callen and DiNozzo._

_DiNozzo looked down at her and said, "I'm guessing 34C." _

_"D," Callen corrected._

_"Ah, deceptive D's," DiNozzo replied and Callen chuckled._

_They both received a smack on their heads from her, which was a reasonable accomplishment considering they were both taller than her._

_"Nice work, Farrow," complimented Gibbs, as they stepped out of the elevator._

X

Tash opened her eyes and looked first at Callen, who watched her from his seat.

"You okay, Tash?" Callen asked. There was something in her eyes that he hadn't seen for a long time. Mischief, recognition, trouble. All at once. He had a feeling this trip was going to pay off in more ways than those relating to the case.

Tash just nodded, she'd deal with him in a minute. She turned to Tony and smiled. He smiled back, though he didn't look too sure if this was a good thing. She remembered that smile and him actually trying to make a move on her, even knowing she was with Callen at the time.

"Yes Tony, nothing has changed. You still don't stand a chance," Tash assured him. She heard Callen laugh behind her and turned around, eyes narrowing at him. He stopped laughing at her look, well at least the sound. Tash could still see it in his eyes as she held his gaze and walked slowly over to him.

Callen didn't move, just waited for her. He wanted to know what she knew now. When Tash got to him, she reached down and put her hands on the arm rests of his chair, trapping him there. Callen's gaze drop to the front of her shirt, as it fell slightly open when she leaned down so her face was level with his. He slowly returned his gaze to her face and smiled.

"You ... You still have some explaining to do." Tash kept her voice firm and soft, though it was hard to concentrate after the look he had just given her.

"Like?" Callen asked. She leaned in closer so no one else could hear. She was so close he could have easily kissed he and she wouldn't have had a chance to move away. But he didn't. He waited for this to play out on her terms.

"Like how Gibbs knew my bra size. Hetty had no reason to give him those details." Tash saw the look on his face and knew he remembered too.

"I didn't tell. Gibbs has been around a while, he has a good eye," Callen answered. Also, he wasn't entirely sure that Gibbs had known until he had corrected Tony.

Tash shook her head, her eyes still locked on his. "Gibbs may have been around a while, but Tony has been around more and he got it wrong." She waited for the next excuse.

"Tony's not perfect." Callen's voice wasn't so soft anymore.

"Hey!" Tash heard Tony protest but she still didn't move away.

"Did you get it right?" Tash asked him. She saw something flicker in his eyes.

"Yes." Callen waited for the next question that he knew she would ask. She was too curious sometimes.

"How?" Tash asked. She saw a wicked smile come across Callen's face.

"By feel." Callen watched as her breath caught and he saw something else in her eyes. Desire and need. He didn't try and hide that it was reflected in his own. He did wonder what it was that had caused it in hers though.

"You two, save it for the hotel room," Gibbs ordered. "Callen, let's go. Farrow, you got something to do whilst you wait?"

Tash broke their eye contact, stood up and moved away from Callen.

"Yep," Tash admitted as she moved to sit down and pull out a book she'd brought to read, hoping no one else could hear her heart racing. The wave of emotions that had washed over her just now was dizzying. It wasn't like the same way the memories had been returning, but it was still a memory coming back, she was sure of it. It felt more like remembering the emotions and feelings that she might have felt for him.

"Be good," Callen said as he stood up. Tash looked up at him, saw the look in his eyes hadn't changed. She felt a flush go over her body again at his look.

"Really, I thought you liked it when I was bad," Tash replied.

"Only if I'm around," Callen answered as he disappeared behind the dividers. And only with me, he added silently.


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N - Final chapter, though epilogue by request - not written but if I have forgotten to explain anything or there is anything in particular you want to see with these two, let me know and I'll see what I can do. No promises though._

_So, after all this time, I'm going to miss these two having lived in their world for so long. _

_Hope you enjoy the conclusion._

_Thanks for all the reviews, alerts, favouriting and messages. They've all been encouraging and appreciated._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

**Chapter 21**

They walked into the hotel room and Callen closed the door behind them. It was the same room they had stayed in the last time they were here. When Eric had told them the suspects were in Washington, Callen asked Hetty if he could take Tash. She had looked at him for a moment, before agreeing. It wasn't like he needed to take someone to help him get them. Gibbs had taken on the tracking and monitoring of the suspects, so he just needed to be there to make sure they got the right ones and the necessary information out of them.

Callen turned around to face Tash, not quite sure where things would go from here. It would be up to her. The case was over, quicker than expected. The suspects in custody, the necessary information passed back to the team in L.A. For now, the rest of the trip could be as personal as they liked. They weren't due back until Tuesday or later. Hetty had all but ordered him to take some of the holidays that he hadn't used yet. He'd agreed to a day, possibly more depending on how things went. He'd also agreed that once Tash remembered, he'd take some more time off with her.

Callen could see the tension in her back as she still faced away from him and he had a feeling that she was getting ready to talk, so he waited.

Tash was nervous, though not quite sure what kind of nervous. She tried to focus on what she needed to ask him, rather than what she wanted to do with him. It felt like so much had changed since earlier at the office when she had remembered things and what Tony had said. She needed to focus on asking him questions about that first. Tash finally turned around and looked at Callen.

"So, together huh?" Tash asked. "When?" She had tried to filter her memories and find a place when she thought they might have been together, but she didn't have enough to go on.

"A while ago," Callen replied. She rolled her eyes at his answer. It was very non informative. He smiled at her reaction.

"How long were we together?" Tash asked. Hopefully that wasn't too hard for him to give her an accurate answer to.

"Six months," Callen replied. Tash bit her lip, not really wanting to ask the next question. She looked away before she did.

"When did it end?" Tash asked softly. Callen waited until she looked back to him before he answered.

"It didn't. You just forgot." Callen held her gaze. Her heart leapt at the answer but she still frowned as she asked the next question.

"So we were still together that day?"

"Yes," Callen answered. He watched as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before she continued.

"I'm sorry," Tash whispered when she opened them again. "I don't know why I was scared of you. I shouldn't have been."

Callen walked over to her and reached out to touch her cheek.

"Tash, you couldn't remember anything. Of course you were scared."

Tash looked up at him and took a breath, gathering her courage for her next question. He frowned, wondering what kind of question was making her so nervous.

"How together?" Tash asked him.

Callen raised his eyebrows. "You haven't worked that out yet?"

"Maybe. But I need to hear it from you," Tash admitted. Callen watched as she swallowed nervously and he realised she didn't want to answer in case she was wrong.

"We were living together." Callen let his hand drop from her face. He needed to let her lead, and touching her was too much temptation at the moment.

"And?" Tash asked. Callen smiled.

"Yes," he replied, knowing what she wanted to know. "We were lovers."

"This room?" Tash asked. "It seems familiar." She turned, as she asked the question, to look around at the room.

"It's where we stayed when we were here last time," Callen replied.

Tash turned back and slowly stepped forward, closer to him.

"Was there only one bed last time?" Tash hoped he felt the same way, wanted the same thing as she did right now. The only way she would find out was if she continued asking the questions, hoping he would continue answering them as he had been. He didn't seem to be too worried about Nate's rules at the moment and she was going to take advantage of that.

"Yes," Callen replied. He knew where this was going. He knew the look in her eyes.

"Did either of us sleep on the couch?" Tash asked, as she closed the distance between them and slipped her arms around his neck.

"No," Callen replied, just as his phone rang. Callen pulled away.

"Don't get it," Tash begged. But he already had, needing to answer it, in case it was work.

"What?" Callen answered with a frown, not enjoying being interrupted. He listened before answering.

"Sorry Tony. Already ordered room service. It's been a long day. Thanks for the offer," Callen responded then hung up. He put the phone down on the table and turned back to her.

"Room service? Long Day?" Tash asked as she held back a smile. "Did he believe you?" He'd lied, maybe he was really interested.

"Doubt it." Callen grinned. He stepped back towards her. "Where were we?"

Tash smiled. It did definitely seem that way. Her heart started to race even more and she slipped her arms around his neck as his found their way around her waist. She looked up at his face and saw the same look in his eyes that had been there earlier at the office.

"So what did we get up to then?" Tash asked. Callen saw her eyes sparkle, full of mischief and desire. Just like the last time they had been in this room.

"You tell me," Callen replied. Tash stood up on her toes, bring her body more fully against his. His arms tightened around her to kept her there.

"We were together, we were lovers. Did we see much of the city?" Callen could feel her breath on his lips as she spoke. She was so close.

"No," Callen answered. He could see it in her eyes, he could see she was almost back. At least enough for them to be together, to be what they were for each other.

"Then I guess we enjoyed the sights of the room," Tash concluded. Callen wondered how much she had remembered and whether she had actually remembered them being together. She'd never mentioned it if she had.

"Yep," Callen agreed. It was hard to let her take lead and not make the next move. He was grateful that he didn't have to wait long.

"Care to help me remember? A little prompt?" Tash asked as she touched her lips to his. That was all it took. She'd asked and he would comply, happily. Callen caught her lips and kissed her, no need to hold back anymore.

X

_She looked in his eyes and he nodded. She swallowed nervously. He moved his head close to her ear and whispered, "You'll be fine Tash, trust me." Then he moved back to her lips and kissed her. It was supposed to be for show, but it didn't feel that way. She lost track of what they were here for. They had been watching and observing, but it was looking like someone was suspicious of them and they needed to make a quick and effective exit. Callen decided to heat things up so that when they left soon, it wouldn't look odd. He pulled back and looked at her again. Her breathing was heavy, she had no idea he could kiss so well. She didn't think she could stand up on her own. He must have sensed it, or this was just his plan, as he swept her up in his arms, looked for the exit and started walking. Part of her hoped it was the later. She wasn't sure if she could face him if he realised just how much she had been affected by his kiss._

_"Keep going," he whispered. She turned her attention to his neck, enjoying the feel of his skin under her lips, the taste of him on her tongue. Looks like she might get to enjoy her job a little more than she used to. They walked out the door of the nightclub and he stepped straight over to the limousine that was waiting for them, still carrying her as he got in. The door closed behind them and she buried her head in his neck, taking some deep calming breaths. It was the first time they had done this together. Add to that, the almost being caught out, and she was very relieved to be out of the club._

_"Well done," Callen said. She raised her head and looked at him. He seemed so, normal, like he did this all the time. She moved away, off his lap._

_"Thank you," she replied, as she put her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, still trying to get her breathing under control. "Same to you."_

X

"Tash?" Callen asked, concerned when she zoned out. Not exactly what he hoped for when he kissed her.

"Just another memory." Tash looked at him and smiled. "Our first kiss."

Callen smiled as he remembered it too. "You know you weren't the only one surprised by it." He knew she thought, at the time, that he hadn't been affected by it.

"Really? You didn't show it," she said as he distracted her as his hands moved gently over her body.

"We don't have to do this now," Callen assured her. Tash did the same to him, with a slight shake of her head.

"I want to. I still want this. Now. In this life," she replied. "I don't know why I don't remember. I just know this feels so right," Tash continued. Callen's fingers made their way to the buttons on her shirt. She smiled up at him when he paused, giving her a chance to stop this. "Please," she whispered. His fingers continued.

Tash felt different, like things were going to take a major step forward, and not just physically.

She reached up and kissed him gently before she said, "Just be patient with me. I have a feeling I'm going to remember a lot." Callen smiled back at her.

"I can be patient. We've got all night." He slipped her shirt off her shoulders and ran his fingers lightly down her arms. So right.

Tash slipped her hands under the bottom of his shirt and pushed it up. He helped her remove it then she looked at his chest, seeing the scars. They didn't seem familiar. Some were fairly recent. Tash frowned and, as she ran her fingers over them, she looked up at him.

"Recent additions?" Tash asked.

"Just over a year ago," Callen said.

X

_She felt the shots before she could even register where they had come from. She felt herself falling backwards. God that hurt. The gun fire stopped and she heard Callen and Sam both call to her. She tried to sit up but she could barely breath lying down and moving made it ten times worse._

_Callen got to her first and pulled her to her feet._

_"Tash?" he asked, worried._

_"Vest … off ... please," was all she could say. Callen reached around and unclipped it. That was enough to help her breath easier. She took a few deeper breaths. _

_"You okay?" Callen asked as he looked her over._

_"Considering I just took three bullets to the chest, I'm good. Hurts like hell, but I'm good." She saw Callen close his eyes in relief, for just a moment before he pulled her to him and held her gently._

_"I'll kiss you better later," he whispered._

X

Tash she looked up at him again. "Must have hurt. The three hurt enough through the vest." Her fingers still ran over the scars lightly as she spoke.

"You remember that?" Callen asked. There had only been one time where she'd been hit three times. He remembered being terrified for a moment as she went down, before he had consciously reminded himself she was wearing her vest.

"Yeah," Tash smiled. "I also remember you promising to kiss it better." She moved and kissed each of his scars from the shooting. Callen closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her lips on him again. Tash also kissed the one on the side, that she had stitched up.

"You're right. I did do a pretty good job," Tash agreed as she moved back up to kiss his lips again. Callen ran his fingers over her shoulders slipping her bra straps off and, as one encountered the scar from the shooting, he pulled back. He gently traced the scar and bent down and kissed it. He then ran his hands over her back, unclipping her bra. She held her breath as she looked at him as it dropped to the floor. Callen smiled at her and lifted her gently, as he moved them to the bed. He lowered her down carefully, holding himself above her. His hand slid down her leg and, instinctively, she moved it up around his hips.

X

_They were on the dance floor and he pulled her to him, sliding his hand down her leg and lifting it up, he held her against him. He looked in her eyes and smiled._

_"You said you liked fast," he said._

_"Fast or slow, as long as it's with the right guy," her voice slightly breathless, as they continued to move to the fast music. As she spun back into his arms, she wrapped hers around his neck and the music changed to a slow one. They swayed on the spot for a while. She needed a rest, but wasn't willing to leave the dance floor, or his arms or admit either to him._

_He didn't ask if he was the right guy. She didn't know what she would've said if he had. This was all because of a challenge, not because he'd asked her out and not because of work. Just a challenge that she had won._

X

"Didn't know you could dance so good," Tash whispered, after the memory faded.

"Which time?" Callen asked, as he kissed his way down one side of her neck.

"There was more than one?" Tash closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensations he created on her skin, as his lips moved. Callen nodded against her neck. "Shooting Challenge," she said, breathless, as he moved away from her neck to remove the last of their clothes.

"Wouldn't have offered if I couldn't make it worth your while," Callen replied. She let her gaze run over his body as he moved back onto the bed.

"Was that before or after we got together?" Tash thought it must have been before, but she wasn't sure.

"Before." Callen ran his hands up her now bare legs. Encountering the scar on her thigh, he stopped and kissed it.

"Didn't get to kiss this one better at the time," Callen added, his warm breath whispering across her skin.

X

_They were running after their target when suddenly he stopped, turning towards them. He threw something and then, turning away, he ran again. They kept running. She saw whatever it was and tried to dodge, but she was too late. She felt the pain in her leg and she went down as she tried not to scream. She knew if she did, Callen would turn and they needed to get this guy. She glanced down and saw the knife in her thigh and looked away quickly before the blood registered. He was going to be so mad at her. She looked to see Callen take down the target, handcuff him and then look around for her. His eyes widened when he saw her on the ground. _

_"Tash?" he asked. She could hear him in the ear piece._

_"I'm okay," she tried to reassure him, though even she could hear the pain in her voice._

_"What happened?" _

_"He threw a knife. I wasn't quick enough," she replied. She saw him get up and start to run, leaving the target. She was about to tell him to stop when she saw Renko come round the corner, right there._

_"Damn, Tash. We should really teach you how to dodge," Callen remarked when he got to her. She closed her eyes and tried not to look. She could feel the faintness coming._

_"Eric, need an ambulance," Callen continued, as he put his hands on her leg and put as much pressure as he could on it around the knife._

_"You'll be okay Tash," Callen reassured her._

_She shook her head and tried to focus on her breathing. "Can't do blood, my blood," she admitted._

_"Since when?" Callen asked. She could hear the frown in his voice. Odd that she knew his voice so well. They hadn't been working together that long._

_"Always. Other people, I'm fine. In the middle of a fight, I'm fine. Once everything settles, not good." Her breathing remained heavy, though she was pleased she hadn't fainted yet._

_"Keep your eyes closed. You'll be fine," Callen said._

_"I know. Hetty won't be pleased though."_

_"Why not?" Callen asked._

_"I've only been here a month and already I'm injured," she replied._

_Callen smiled, it came through in his voice._

_"You've got a stack of paperwork you haven't done yet. Don't think you're getting time off so easy," he reminded her. _

_She groaned as she remembered the paperwork mounting on her desk."How did I end up with so much in so little time?" _

_"We've been keeping you busy," Callen said, as they heard the ambulance sirens._

X

Tash moved so she was above him. She looked down at his face and tried to focus. It was so hard at the moment. Between the memories that she wanted back and what he was doing to her and making her feel, she was being pulled in two different directions. She wanted both desperately, but in different ways. Her breathing was heavy and laboured.

Callen looked up at her. She fitted perfectly against him like this and, as much as he wanted to move against her, he kept it to just running his fingers gently over her back. He smiled at the expression it created on her face, the way her mouth opened slightly, her eyes darkening just that little bit more.

"Just say stop, anytime," he told her. Tash buried her head in his neck as she tried to gain some focus, some sort of control.

"You want me to stop?" she asked him as she kissed his neck, trying to focus on him.

"No. I want you." His words sparked another memory that pulled her mind away.

X

_"Are you always so cryptic?" she asked him._

_"Only with you," Callen replied._

_"Come on G. What is it you really want? Straight out," she demanded as she looked at him, her hands on her hips showing her frustration._

_"You," Callen said, looking right at her._

_"Me?" she asked. He must be joking._

_"I want you," he repeated. _

_Her breath caught as he repeated the words. They hadn't spoken about things since the mistletoe kiss a few nights ago and she had thought that he must have been regretting it._

_She shook her head. "You don't date cops."_

_"So, I'm breaking the rules," Callen answered as he stepped closer to her. She shook her head harder, fighting the tears that suddenly came to her eyes at his words._

_"And what happens when you decide they weren't worth breaking? It's not going to be you that suffers." She stepped away from him. She needed to go, to get away, before she made a fool of herself even more. But he was quicker and pulled her into his arms._

_"No more rules then," Callen whispered, looking into her eyes. "Tash, I love you."_

_She looked into his, hoping that she would see he meant it. He smiled and repeated it before he kissed her. When he finally pulled away and she caught her breath, she said, "New rule... Don't ever stop. I love you too."_

X

"I didn't break the rule you know. Just forgot," Tash whispered, her head still against his neck. She could feel another memory coming and tried to fight it so she could tell him.

"Neither did I," Callen responded. "I love you Tash. Always have." She tried to say the words, but the next memory swept over her before she could.

X

_Callen lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around him and buried her head in his neck. _

_"Where are they?" she asked._

_"Out the back, two of them. The other team is in place. We just need the distraction," Eric told them through the ear piece._

_"Think we can manage that," Callen replied, as he carried her to the back exit. As he got to the door, he whispered, "Show time." She looked up at him and kissed him as he pushed the door open. He stepped out with her and closed the door. He leaned back against it as they continued the kiss. She pulled back ever so slightly and watched him. She felt him tense and saw the sign she was waiting for. She swung her leg around fast and it connected with someone's face. She heard the groan and Callen quickly placed her on her feet and she reached for her gun which was under his jacket. As she turned, she felt her legs go out from under her. Apparently she hadn't kicked hard enough. Then she heard a crack and saw the assailant go down, out cold. Callen reached down to her and pull her up. As she stood, she felt unbalanced and almost fell against him. As he held her up, she looked down and groaned._

_"Tash?" Callen asked, concerned._

_"Hetty's going to kill me." She looked back at him and admitted, "Heel's broken."_

_Callen looked at her, relief in his eyes. _

_"So you're not hurt?" he asked._

_"Not really. Probably some scrape or other, but as long as it's not bleeding, I'm fine," she replied._

_"Good, so don't look down again," Callen ordered, as they started to walk away from the suspect who was now being taken care of by the other team. She stopped after a few steps._

_"I can't walk like this. I don't know why Hetty thought it necessary for me to wear five inch heels," she complained, planning on taking them off. Before she could, Callen lifted her up in his arms._

_"Close your eyes Tash. Just in case," Callen said. She did._

X

"I take it Hetty didn't kill me over the shoes," Tash whispered, before she rolled onto her back. She didn't have the strength to hold herself up anymore. Callen followed, looked down at her and smiled.

"Haven't you figured it out yet? You are, and have always been Hetty's favourite, since that first day," Callen told her as he gently stroked her face.

"Why?" Tash asked.

"Because she realised you needed us, even more than we needed you," Callen replied.

Tash looked at him, watched as he came closer to kiss her again.

Callen paused, recognising the change in her look as she continued to remember, and he waited. Waited for her to come back to the now, to him, before he continued.

X

_"Natasha my dear, what happened?" Hetty asked as she arrived at her desk. It was her first day and she had come in early, not wanting to be at home._

_"Door," she replied shortly. She had a bruise on her cheek that no amount of ice last night or make up this morning could hide properly._

_"Come with me," Hetty ordered gently. As she stood up, he walked around the corner._

_"Mr Callen. Good morning. This is your new partner, Natasha Farrow. We'll be back with you shortly." Hetty continued to lead her away. But not before she saw the look on his face. A look that almost made her groan. She knew what it meant. He wouldn't believe the door story. She'd been right._

_He'd taken her home that night, on the pretense that it had been a big day and she shouldn't be driving. Well, he was probably right, since she'd fallen asleep at her desk as well as in the car on the way home. But she knew better. He knew what had happened to cause the bruise. Not a door, but a fist. He wanted to make sure she was safe._

_As they walked to her door, she saw a figure standing near it and tensed. It was him. The newly ex boyfriend, the one responsible for the bruise._

_"Is that him?" Callen asked her._

_"Yes," she said quietly. Callen left her side a few steps from the ex and she stopped, not sure what was going happen. She certainly didn't expect what she saw. Before the ex could react, Callen had him up against the wall, hand at his throat._

_"Touch her again, come near her again, you'll find yourself six feet under. Do you understand?" Callen's voice so protective, so angry. The ex just nodded and, as soon as Callen let him go, he ran. She never saw him again._

X

"Protective weren't you?" Tash opened her eyes and looked up into his blue ones that were looking down at her.

"Of course I was," Callen admitted. He knew what she was meaning, what she would have remembered from that first day. He wouldn't let anyone her hurt, not when he could stop it. Not then, not now, not ever.

"Why? You'd only just met me." Tash closed her eyes as he moved his body against hers; as his touch continued to take her breath away. She wouldn't have it any other way. This was so right, so familiar, so perfect.

"He hurt you. You were mine to protect." Callen stopped moving, stopped touching her and waited for her to open her eyes and look at him. When she did, he whispered, "You are mine. Always."

Tash felt something in her mind shift. She realised the story book was starting to take shape. She had enough now, enough to know who she was, what they were. Enough to start living again. It wasn't just the consciously remembered memories, the little ones that had slipped back into her mind, unnoticed, had helped too. But the biggest thing, the reason she was back. Her heart. Callen had seen it, at the cemetery that day. The heart remembers, even if the mind doesn't. She felt it that first day, when he'd first touched her hand at the beach. The safe feeling she'd had with him and the team. The familiarity of his kiss. Needing him. That wave of dizzying emotion from earlier today. She just hadn't been looking in the right place for the memories of them. Now she was. Now, she had found them.

Tash smiled at him and Callen saw the change too, saw that she was back.

"Welcome back," Callen whispered to her.

"Good to home," Tash said softly. She reached up and stroked his cheek, feeling the tears form in her eyes. But this time, they were happy ones. "I love you," she whispered to him. A stray tear slipped from one of her eyes and Callen reached down to kiss it away. Tash smiled up at him and slipped her hand behind his neck, her fingers gently running through his short hair. She pulled him to her and kissed him.

Tash knew exactly who she was and where she should be right now. She let go of everything else, everything but him, his touch, what he was making her feel and what she felt for him.

Callen knew she was his again. Everything was as it should be. She was his and he was hers. The way it was meant to be.

~~~~The End~~~~~~~~

_A/N 2 - So, thanks for reading and sticking with such a long story (my longest one yet!). Would really love to know what your thoughts are._


	22. Epilogue

_A/N - So, here is the unexpected Epilogue._

_Completely blaming ;-) aussietrueblue for throwing me back into the Callen/Tash universe for a few hours this afternoon, as she so rightly reminded me that this story wasn't just about Callen and Tash, but about Tash and the rest of the team as well._

_So, thank you aussietrueblue. _

_Hope you all enjoy._

_Disclaimer in Chapter 1_

**Epilogue.**

Callen and Tash walked back into the L.A. office, Tuesday morning. Sam saw them and smiled, but when he glanced down and saw their hands entwined together, he looked back at them, frowning slightly.

"Told you he'd notice," Tash whispered as she leaned slightly closer to Callen so no one else would hear. Callen smiled.

"That's one bet I don't mind losing," he replied. Tash looked at him and smiled, a slight blush coming over her cheeks, before she turned back to see Sam walking towards them.

Sam looked back down at their hands, "Something you'd like to tell us?" Tash could see it was killing Sam not to know what was going on.

Callen grinned. "Pretty girl, why wouldn't I be holding her hand?" They kept walking to their desks leaving Sam staring at their backs.

"Oh, you're cruel," Tash said to him.

"He'll figure it out soon enough, if he hasn't already," Callen assured her.

They put their bags down and turned around. Tash smiled at Kensi, who was seated at her desk and released her hand from Callen's. She walked over and whispered in Kensi's ear. Kensi's eyes went wide and she looked up at Tash when she stood up.

"That really works?" Kensi asked her.

Tash smiled, "As long as you do it right."

"You telling her your tricks with Nate?" Callen asked.

Tash looked over at him. "Don't worry G, not the same ones you know."

"You gonna tell me?" Sam asked. Tash chuckled and shook her head.

"Sorry Sam, but I really don't think fluttering your eyelashes at Nate would have the same effect."

Callen laughed outright at the mental picture, but then stopped and looked at Tash.

"Wait. You flutter your eyelashes at Nate?" he asked. Tash stepped back over to him and bent down, looking him in the eyes.

"Don't worry, it not quite the same as when I do it to you," Tash said softly.

Callen was about to pull her into his lap for a kiss but Hetty walked in and Tash moved away slightly, though she stayed close.

"Well, now you are all here, we have some things to discuss," Hetty said.

"What things?" asked Kensi.

"In a moment, Miss Blye. Mr Getz needs to -"

"I'm here Hetty," Nate said as he walked in and took a seat.

Sam was still frowning at Callen and Tash. Tash tried not to laugh.

"Miss Farrow. You are ready to start work again?" Tash nodded.

"What?" exclaimed Kensi.

Nate sat up straighter in his chair and focused on Tash, whilst Sam's eyes narrowed on Callen.

"For a little bit, Hetty," Tash replied. Hetty nodded.

"Yes. Yours and Mr Callen's holiday request. One month off, starting in a month. Director Vance has approved it."

"What's goin' on G?" Sam asked.

"Taking some time off," Callen responded. Sam shook his head.

"That's not what I mean. What's going on with you and Tash? Something's changed."

Kensi looked at the two of them carefully, "Yeah, something's definitely different."

Tash looked at Callen and grinned.

Hetty coughed, bringing their attention back to her, though Sam's eyes kept glancing over at Callen and Tash as Hetty spoke.

"Now that Miss Farrow is rejoining the team, we do need to look at a re-shuffle, at least for now. Until she has passed her training again, Miss Farrow will be mostly confined to office work." Tash rolled her eyes at that and Callen smiled.

"However," Hetty continued, "should she need to go out in the field, she will be partnered with Mr Callen. The familiarity should help her get a feel for things easier."

"So I get Sam?" Kensi asked Hetty.

"For now. Once Miss Farrow's training is finished, we will look carefully at the partnerships and make a final decision then."

Sam was still watching Callen and Tash, so was Nate.

"You do know pairing Kensi with Tash would be a very bad idea," Callen said.

Tash turned to him and slapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, we would be just fine thank you very -" Tash was cut off by Kensi's gasp.

"Oh my god, that's what's different. You two are engaged!" Kensi exclaimed.

Tash looked down at Callen and her hand that had the ring on it. She smiled at him. "Oops. Wasn't quite supposed to come out like that."

"G?" Callen turned and looked at Sam. Callen smiled and nodded.

"Yeah Sam, she remembered."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

_Flashback to the hotel room in Washington, Sunday morning._

_Callen watched Tash as she slept. He saw her eyelids flutter and watched the expressions on her face change at whatever she was dreaming about. He waited until they slowed down, not wanting to wake her if she was remembering something. He knew she had also remembered a lot through dreams. At least whatever she was dreaming about seemed happy._

_He kissed her on the shoulder and watched, as her eyes fluttered open. _

_Tash smiled at him. "This is nice. Could easily get used to it," she said._

_Callen smiled. "The hotel room?" He knew that wasn't what she was meaning._

_Tash sat up and leaned over to kiss him. "No, you here next to me when I wake up."_

"_Good. That would be part of the plan."_

_Tash moved over and curled up in his arms. They stayed there quietly for a few minutes before Tash spoke. "I remember G."_

"_What? All of it?" he asked._

"_I think so. At least most of it. I can think back to something and it's there. I haven't not found anything yet."_

"E_verything?" he asked softly, remembering one thing in particular he hoped she would remember._

_Tash raised herself up and looked down at him with a smile._

"_I remember you asked me a question, just before that mission. Told me to give you an answer when it was over," she said. She watched his eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking._

_Callen reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear._

"_So what's the answer?" he asked her._

"_You don't want to ask the question again?" Tash asked with a smile. Callen shook his head._

"_Already asked it once. Hoping I get the right answer that I don't need to ask again."_

_Tash lent down and kissed him softly._

"_You knew what the answer would be," she said as she moved back._

"_Hoped. You're not that easy to predict," Callen replied._

"_So you didn't bet on the outcome with Sam?" _

_Callen shook his head. "Sam knew, but there was no bet."_

"_What did Sam think I wou-" _

_Callen cut her off with a kiss and when he pulled back he looked at her and said firmly, "Tash, will you please just answer the question? I've been waiting long enough."_

_Tash smiled. "Yes. Definitely Yes."_

"_Bout time," Callen whispered as he pulled her back down to him._

_~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~_

Sam grinned and walked over to Tash. He pulled her into his arms and gave her a huge hug. Tash returned it with a few tears thrown in for good measure. She remember this. Sam's bear hugs. How he could so easily cause her to have trouble breathing but he was also gentle, always knew just how tight he could hold her without hurting her.

"I remember," she whispered.

Sam pulled back and looked at her. "So you're really back?" Tash nodded and Sam picked her up and spun her around. Tash laughed. He put her down and Tash turned to look at Nate. He had tears in his eyes and she went over to hug him too.

"Thank you," she whispered to him. Nate had done so much, tried so many different things to help her. She really didn't know how to thank him for all of it.

"Glad it worked," Nate replied. He was glad that this trip had paid off so well. Glad that he had been wrong about Callen's choice of action. Their little Tash was back. That's all that mattered.

Tash walked back over to join Callen as Kensi asked, "So when's the wedding?"

"In a month," Callen replied as he pulled Tash into his lap and smiled at her.

"That's quick," Sam said.

Callen looked at Sam. "It took her more than two years to answer the question. Not giving her a chance to change her mind now."

Tash looked at him, held his face in her hands and said, "Never. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

Callen grinned. "I like." Tash lent down and kissed him. Sam whistled and she pulled back and smiled down at Callen. Sam always did that.

"Still the same," she whispered.

"Still the same," Callen replied softly.

Eric's whistle came from upstairs, beckoning them all.

Tash turned and smiled at Hetty, as she raised her eyebrows.

"May I?" she asked.

Hetty smiled and nodded, "Just this once."

Tash smiled again and moved off Callen's lap. Callen, Sam, Hetty and Nate all covered their ears as she walked past them. Kensi frowned, but followed suit.

Tash looked up, saw Eric and smiled. She put her fingers to her lips and whistled louder than she ever had before. She watched Eric's eyes go wide as his hands flew to his ears and then he grinned.

"Woo hoo! Welcome back, Tash," Eric shouted, making sure the entire office heard him.

Tash smiled up at him as she felt Callen's arm slip around her shoulder. She looked at Callen.

"Shall we?" Callen asked her, tilting his head toward the stairs. Tash nodded and they started to walk, heading up to see Eric about whatever new case he had for them.

Sam smiled as he watched and stood up too. He walked over to Kensi and slipp his arm around her.

"You know we'll be good together right?" Sam said to her.

"As long you let me drive, won't be a problem," Kensi replied as they followed Callen and Tash.

Hetty watched them, all four of them, as they walked up the stairs and smiled. Her team was back and complete. She walked over to her desk, picked up a pile of folders and slipped them into the tray labeled 'Shredding'. One less job for her to do now.

Nate had followed her. Hetty turned and looked at him.

"You think this new team will work well?" Nate asked Hetty. Hetty smiled.

"I don't think, Mr Getz. I know."

_**THE END (I think)**_


End file.
